Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 

All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. 

Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions -  it is by grace you have been saved...through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. 

For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.


Ephesians 2:2-5, 8-10


Establishment of Clear Goals While Young


You should know in which direction you are going in your life. One who does not know what they want to do in their life is like a ship on a voyage, yet does not have its latitude and longitude mapped.

How can one who does not have a blueprint for their life lead it successfully?  When we are in our 20s, this is the best time to invest our energy and heart into establishing precise goals for the future.  Those who have a clear purpose in their youth can possibly become a historical figure or they can leave behind something memorable for the world.

Once you have decided to do something, you have to have the courage to fight to accomplish your goal, no matter what kind of difficulties lie ahead. You should have the courage to digest all obstacles rather than merely to dislike them.

Everything in this world is in competition. You must go the road in which you avoid personal mistakes that lead to your downfall, and don't lose a year or even a month. There is even competition in working out which way to go. If you lose one year, you will not be able to keep up.

Once your goals have been set, you have to make a strong determination and build courage to fight to accomplish your goal no matter what obstacles or setbacks lie ahead.

A person who just accepts his environment and situation will pass away in history.

We must set a goal in our youth how we are to spend the year and follow through to fulfill it.

Imagine you slept for a year and other families had babies and their lives went forward during that time.  They will be one step ahead and it would be hard for you to keep up.  Just the same as an arrow that is shot with the same power.

If one is released before the other, it will reach the target faster.  In order to catch up, one needs to possess many times more driving force in order to regain the ground.  But there aren't such people with that much drive.

Therefore, it is very important to know how to spend one year during your youth. You must set a certain goal and follow through to fulfill it. It is like the dial and compass. 

Before each voyage, navigators must decide which course and direction the ship will set course precisely measuring the settings with a compass.  The propeller must turn once the engine starts; if it turns back on the way, it becomes so much harder.

Once you choose a direction, you should go forward investing your whole energy and heart centering on that direction.  Even if you are at your most tired that you can't hear or even open your eyes, you still must invest your best.

From now on, you should make a clear determination, and uniting mind and body, invest everything 24 hours a day, even during your sleep. 

When you open your eyes when you first wake, you study everything that is related to your goal and make a comparison.  You make your own world in this way dedicating your whole heart and will.  Wherever you go, you should go with a rope that is bound to such a world.  Then you become someone who leaves a mark on the world.

2) Decide Your Direction According to Your Original Mind


The most important time is from age 18 to 24. By the age of 24, you have to have established your life goals. You can know the direction of your life if you cultivate and dedicate yourselves.

The most important time to establish these goals is from 18 to 24, with your life goals established at 24.  When you cultivate and dedicate yourself, you can know the direction your life should go.  However, those whose lives and every action is only centered on their own thinking and not led by God they cannot know a clear direction or path to lead.

Even rats on a ship know when the ship is going to wreck during rough seas.



But people do not know such things. Those who lead a life of faith centered and devoted to pleasing God will have a clearer goal of where they are headed.  You must know where you are going.

"You should know the way to go. Even the ant knows that the rainy season will set in. Have you ever seen ants moving from one place to another in a line? Because you are given to useless daydreaming, you do not know. Not knowing one's own problems is a serious matter. You have to seriously consult with heaven about the problems in your life. You must adapt to your environmental situation. This is your own responsibility.

You have to confer with your deep original mind after discussing with heaven in deciding your special field in life. You yourself know well what kind of talent you have. Then, you have to listen carefully to where your mind tries to pull you.

You have to listen to that. Nobody can pull a ship unless the direction has been decided upon. Therefore, even though someone may pull on you then release you, you have to have your own direction to find for yourself.

Most of you have said that you are going to study business. From my viewpoint, people who are majoring in business are like thieves. You have to find your own way to go. Is it enough just to have money?

No.

There are times when you need money, and there are times when you have to go your own way or a different way as a person. You must therefore decide by yourselves the way to go. Without asking your parents you should decide by yourself, harmonizing, with God's guidance, the essence of your original self deep within your heart towards your future purpose.

You have to decide what kind of person you will be in the future around the age of 18 to 20 years. You must know about this yourself through your prayer and meditation. You may feel you need to enter Seoul National University, but I don't know if that is a good thing or not.

Nobody knows his fate. If you die after receiving your Ph.D., all your efforts over ten years will have been in vain.

Everybody has his inherent talent. Human beings have various unique characteristics. Therefore, people go in different directions within the 360-degree spectrum.

However, if all of you were trying to go the same direction, say, 90 degrees or 60 degrees, it would be a serious problem.

When I studied, my major was electrical engineering. Although I studied science, I knew the way I would go in the future. The reason I studied electrical engineering was because I needed the mathematical ability to accomplish a great task in the future.

In some sense, since electrical engineering deals with invisible things, it is connected to religion. For example, if you look at the world of phenomena, you can know that there is always an electrical aspect to every movement. This means that every action of the universe has something to do with the reciprocity between subject and object.

Then, how is it that a magnet can counter the gravitational pull of the earth? What kind of action does that make possible? The magnet bypasses the earth's gravity with a lesser power. Do you understand what this means?

Therefore, our conscience is the same. Once you are born in this world, the background to your birth is already precisely known. However, you should make the decision about your path by yourself according to your conscience. If you cannot sense or determine this matter, you will not be able to accomplish something great in the future." Dr. Reverend Sun Myung Moon

3) Adjusting to the Direction of the Original Mind

If those of you become those who can fit the substance and essence of the teachings of the Completed Testament age or Divine Principle, everything will go well for you in the future.

Even those who are in their twenties and attending prestigious colleges, in reality they do not have knowledge.  In the olden days of Korea, those who would search the mountains for wild ginseng possessed some sort of spiritual ability or sixth sense.  Through this spiritual "antennae" they were able to find the wild ginseng.


Such things are possible.  Why is it necessary to have this awareness?  With such abilities, we can escape being victimized and we instead gain in a way.  Therefore, it is not a waste of time to seek such a way.

Being born on a strong foundation of your parents' faith, youth should decide by the age of ten or twenty which direction they want to go in life.  When one has such a resolve for their life at a young age, even though you may go in a different direction than you planned, your body will turn towards the proper way.

Everything will be guided.

"For example, although you are sleeping facing the east and thinking to go east the next morning, if it is wrong to go east your body will turn toward the south. Your body itself knows that. It is very sensitive." 

If you do not reach such a spiritual level, you cannot be a great leader in the future.

 We are near the  time when your spiritual level will be evaluated automatically.  Ten people in a village, three people will have spiritual power. They will all know what the others are thinking. Right now is the time to set the right attitude and devote yourself.

If you were born on a foundation of parents that devoted themselves to God's mission and you devote yourself as well, you will be able to clearly make plans for the future through your own deep mediation and prayer at the same level.  This is the normal position. If this cannot be accomplished, nothing will be successful.


If you adjust the direction of your original mind, little by little, your life will enter a narrow valley.  If you go in the northern direction when you are supposed to go in the eastern direction, it will not work.

If you follow the way of the original mind, the universe will show one way to you. That is faster and more powerful than a bullet. 

This is a sense we all should have. When we reach this level, you can speak with your own mind.  As soon as you think about what to do, the answer will come to you immediately.  The examinations questions, the page number to study will just come to your mind and out your mouth.  You can advance to this stage of spiritually.

Don't people at such a stage know the way to go? Because they have clarified their way, all the power of the universe comes to help. When you enter the examination hall, your writing hand and all things will cooperate with you. If this is so, you will be able to achieve something great.

A true person can live based on such a background of power and be supported by infinite power which enables him to go in the direction he is moving.  When he begins to go in the wrong direction, he will come to know this immediately.

The church which teaches the Completed Testament is not the same as the Old and new Testament.  I has a deep and high foundation a framework of great strength.

Everything can be solved once we reach such a spiritual state with your own effort and work.  First, you as an individual must make a decision in which direction you are headed and where you would like to end up.  You know yourselves the best which way this is.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide Part II

Textbook: The Way for a True Child, Chapter, The Way of the Original Mind

The Way of True Freedom

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things which you are now ashamed?  

Those things result in death!  But now that you have been set free from sin and you have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

Romans 6:20-22


Necessity of the Proper Conception of Freedom


There is a limit.


Everyone speaks about wanting peace, happiness and freedom, but on a deeper level, what actually is freedom that regular people call freedom?  We can say that freedom is doing whatever you want.  But how far does doing whatever you want go?

It has a limit.

We can only live a little beyond one hundred years.  Is it freedom if an individual just lives their whole life doing things their own way even against the law?  If God didn't give us freedom to do whatever we wished within His principles, what kind of freedom would we have?

A human being cannot live much longer than one hundred years. Is it freedom if I spend that one hundred years going my own way living however I want to my minds desires? If there were no law and freedom to do whatever one wished, what kind of freedom is that? Today, the world of civilized culture has expanded greatly, so is it easy or difficult to do research and study?

Here's an example.

 Is it freedom or restriction to to study all day if you do not like to study?  Being stuck in a study room all day when you rather be somewhere else is confinement.   The question is, even though there are imposed restrictions, we have to see why we have the desire to do it?  The problem has been our understanding of the concept of freedom.

Freedom is not doing whatever one wishes.   

Then, what does freedom mean to a woman? What does freedom mean to a man? What is freedom for any person?

What is freedom for a family? For a society? For a nation? That is the issue. Can we, as individuals, do whatever we wish?  Isn't this how society is being led in our times?  People living how ever they want based on their own desires without care for any other individual feelings have led to disastrous results and multiplied throughout history.

If it is freedom to do whatever you want, then when you say you don't want to eat another meal, you will die no matter what because your body lives by a standard of needing food.

That is the reason Western society is perishing. They do not know the definition of freedom.

Do we obtain freedom from our happiness or do we get happiness from experiencing freedom?  Which would you whether have?  Freedom in happiness.  We might think that happiness is in freedom, but we have not been aware that this is not the case.  Freedom desires to live within happiness not the other way around.

Therefore, freedom is an action with a directional characteristic. It cannot be a decisive action.

Since freedom wishes to dwell within happiness, it is secondary not primary.

2) The Three Great Principles Freedom Must Have

Freedom cannot exist outside of the Principle or the law and everything has been analyzed and the rules have already been set.

There is no freedom outside of the Principle.

Just because you have the freedom to choose to stop eating and you decide to do so just because you have chose - this is not freedom.  You will become hungry and your body will start to show ill effects and eventually you will die.

When we look at it this way, all the workings of the universe exercise the power of freedom.

The greatest freedom is that the earth revolves on its axis once a day. Also, the moon goes around the earth once a month, and, of course, the earth goes around the sun based on a 360-day cycle.

What if the earth all of the sudden decided that it didn't want to rotate.  This means the value of the whole in which it serves would be lost.  The logical conclusion is that there is no freedom apart from the Principle.  Every entity exists in this way.

When we pursue freedom in a world that forgoes its principles and laws will eventually fail.  An elderly person must follow the rules for the elderly.  Is it suitable for a 80 year old to date a 20 year old?  Everyone would laugh at such a relationship and spit on them when they see them in public.  Everything has to coincide with the Principle.


With Freedom Comes Responsibility

Have you noticed that with freedom comes responsibility?  You have heard this in the famous comics in reference to power.  When we act in a position of responsibility, we should do it for something good and not take responsibility for something bad.  All of creation will respect you when you take responsibility for your actions.  Also, where you have acted based on responsibility, good results will be left behind.

Aren't these the three great fundamental rules?

Someone might wonder what kind of freedom is there when you have to follow the rules and while catering to responsibility.  A teen might not want to be dominated by their parents. They want to to do whatever they wish so they can assert that as freedom.

Let's compare this analogy with the branches and twigs.  Does a twig say that it does not want to have anything to do with the branch?  Without the branch, the twig would not have protection and cannot manage by itself.

Can anything manage alone? The north, south, east and west have to join in four directions. 

If there is a tree-branch facing the east, then there will inevitably be branches facing west, south and north. There must also be buds and roots. It is in such a case that freedom can be guaranteed.

Without this principle, the tree does not grow upright and it will be out of shape.  Is the growth of a tree an example of freedom?  It is its purpose...to grow.  Therefore, there is not freedom outside the Principle - the fundamental rules of the Principle.  There also, is no freedom without responsibility.  When we act, good results must inevitably come about.


3) The Devil's Easy-Going Freedom

When we look at the behavior of students these days destroying school equipment, breaking things, they can be called villains.  They are satan's dogmatists.  This is self-indulgence - not freedom as they may think.  They may believe that doing whatever they want including harming property as long as they do whatever they feel like doing is freedom.  This selfish way of life can only decrease.  One only can prosper with the aid of everything in creation. Isn't this true?

As in the world of nature, each of us must absorb nutrients in order for our bodies to grow healthy. But if we deny our bodies the proper nourishment thinking this is freedom, our health will go down and all is lost.  That is a big painful problem.

"You must know this: there is definitely no freedom outside the Principle. When fathers and mothers give birth to sons and daughters, those sons and daughters cannot deny the principle of being born as children of their parents, can they?"

Only doing what I want to do and prefer is satan's easy going way of freedom.  It is a free action which is based on untruth, unprincipled things and will lead to failure.  It is outside the principle.

A person has to accept their father and mother are their origin and must come into harmony with them in order to do so.  They must care for each other and not just care for only themselves.  To be good to ones mother and father and yourself is freedom.

4) Women's Freedom



Should it be acceptable for a woman to say because of freedom, she will do everything a man does even though she was born as a woman.  As a woman she was not born with a beard so how can she claim freedom to grow a beard as a man?

Is this the way of the principle for those born as a woman.

Can a woman who has a monthly period, just claim that it is too annoying and she will just give up.  Can she just give up this responsibility just because she feels like it.

Each one of us has to adapt to the fundamental principles of womanhood.  A woman hast to take responsibility for being born a a woman.  She takes responsibility of bearing and raising the children as her breasts get large.

This is freedom. Giving birth and raising children is the highest freedom. 

A woman who does not give birth feels that she is only half a woman and is not counted as a woman.

Even if a chestnut burr is big and good, if it does not ripen properly then it will decay.  It will not be able to ripen and open and the whole part will fall off and rot.  The burr is attached firmly so the chestnut must not decay.

However, the chestnut burrs bearing chestnuts will come to fruition in the autumn. If the burr is carrying a chestnut, the nut should drop off. Before the chestnuts drop, the burr opens up automatically. No matter how big they are, those that don't have fruit will drop off the tree and decay.

When autumn arrives, the ones that are ripe open their mouths and have the responsibility to protect the fruit. It is the Principle. It is Principle based reasoning. There is no freedom outside of this logic. Do you understand?

The American concept of freedom has led to its decay.

We each have to take responsibility in all facets of life.  Why?  If we give birth to a child we would never say, "Hey, you're free.  Grow in any way you wish, do whatever you want."  this is a collective responsibility.  Because my parents raised me with responsibility, I must do the same for my children.

That is where freedom is.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

This post was rewritten and taken from the Textbook: The Way for a True Child, Chapter, The Way of True Freedom

West and East Must Unite

The author of the Divine Principle which this blog is based upon has gone through insurmountable obstacles to found content which brings the Completed Testament Age:

"Everything he has done so far, and every foundation he has laid, he has done all by himself, and he will do it again and still more. Nothing is done by chance; everything has very complicated yet very solid reasoning behind it.  Although you cannot see it, it is there. It is not only talk, but it is all reality, that he has achieved.

If you happen to witness the work of some individual or group which excels this, then you can go ahead and oppose him; but not until. Can you understand?"

Someone who thought about this first, and worked on it, and achieved it before any other individual or organization, is Master Moon. We have to acknowledge this because it is a fact. The conscientious and intellectuals will perceive this.

There is no teacher to him, but God is the sole teacher.  He didn't consult in other individuals before taking action, because he wasn't working with mankind.  He consults with God directly.  God is alive; God is here.  Therefore, you can talk to God about any matter and get the solution, you don't have to consult with individuals.

One country needs to act as a mediator between the East and the West and Japan is the one. As far as God's dispensation, Japan's existence is for this sole purpose.

Now, the Japanese must stand fast against losing pride and becoming shaky. Japanese families and people can open up the future of the world for them.

Koreans will see the Japanese called for certain mission and wonder why this is so.  It is God's strategy to sacrifice the ones closest to Him and bring the farthest ones closer.  Therefore Japanese students must be grateful for God's benevolence.

The Japanese members of the Unification Church already know this; so no matter how hard the work they go through and the hardships they experience, they never complain. There is not one single word of complaint. They obey.  This is their culture.

That's the only difference between the godly people and ungodly people.

Never forget, behind all of these events there have been mass labors and sufferings. You must never forget that today the fruit of all the sacrifice -- significant and small -- in the history, is all combined. 

Those ones who do not recognize this immediately will be the ones who will deny every sacrifice and everything that was good in the past. For the purpose of goodness, we mobilize all of our conscience.

The culture of the East and the West must become one.  Through whom?

Through God.



We must open our conscience and mind wide and observe this heaven-given knowledge.  Eastern people and Western people together should make a determination for the work of the future.  We should build the world of eternity where the world will be one in the Unification realm.

An ideal young person that has perfected themselves and met the perfect mate, such a man and wife and family will want to have everybody in the world as their friend.  In this sense, the world will become a happy multitude which will be happy just looking at all their brothers and sisters in the world.

When such people become friends it will be such a beautiful sight to see.

"Those are the multitudes who will make their credo to love God more than their own nation. It will be those people who can love their God-centered brothers and sisters more than anything else they have in the world. Wouldn't that be the highest ideal for which youth can aim."

When a person extends his love beyond his own spouse and family and on to his sisters and brothers of the entire world, he will be a successful person; the only successful person.  He must be centered around God because without God, we do not exist.

If you condense man to a seed, what would that seed be?  Before the child were the parents, so the parents are your origin or seed.  From the origin you are born.

What is the origin of your parents? Parent, parent, parent and so on...then it goes back to the ultimate cause and that is God.

The only hope and purpose of every living being's life is to resemble its own source. Let us examine a seed. 

When we observe a seed, we notice that it is surrounded by a pouch and always splits into two.  No matter how small a seed is, it is always divided into two.  This resembles the ultimate cause.  The ultimate cause is God; God has a dual capacity or essentiality as one character.  Everything else in creation also because it takes after the origin the principle which is God.

To take another example, even an individual has two elements: the body or flesh and the conscience. That's the plus entity and minus entity. When they go against each other they perish. When you take the example of the seed, do the two elements within the seed fight each other? They never fight. If they did there would be no plant.

What about mankind?  Are we one as an individual?  Are we perfected.  If not, then you have no life.
This is because we haven't even become a seed yet.  A perfected man or woman must become on.

When man and woman become one, then they are truly happy.  Why are they happy together?  Because in that way, they resemble and come closer to God; this is why they are happy.

All seeds contain all the elements of a plant. So when you plant a seed, a root comes. It comes from something, because there is something in it. The trunk comes because a trunk was already there, and it has leaves. The leaves come because there already have been leaves.

We as individuals each have a root, and a trunk...then this means we must have leaves.  These three will comprise a tree.  Who is your root?  Your parents are your root.  Are you a perfect trunk?  This is your problem.

When you look at a tree, it resembles a closed circle. Why?

Because God is like that. God is round, so it becomes round. The base is round, the trunk is round, the branches are round. Round things rotate. They run easier anywhere.

A tree resembles a closed circle...why is this?

Because God is like that.  God is round, so the base is round, the trunk is round, the branches are round.  Round things rotate.  It is like a ball.  If you kick it, it will go very easily in any direction and anywhere.

This is why we need something round and complete in our character and why everybody resembles this round shape.  Everybody is working and living these patterns.  Those who are very athletic can make himself very round.

We see these three steps: root, trunk and leaves because that is the principle of God.  When you live in conformity with these three elements, the world can be yours and God will not protest.

Even the finger has three steps or joints, the arm has a hand and upper and lower arms and the head and body and trunk.


Are American people precious individually or as a collective unit.  Collective.  Is your own value temporary or eternal?  Eternal.  Is it an absolute value or something that can be diminished?  Absolute.  Everyone has ambition as if he was a thief trying to rob everything from God.  But God doesn't mind.  As long as you live withing principle, He doesn't mind.


Return for Tomorrow's post: The Way of True Freedom

This text was rewritten and taken from the text The Hope of Youth

How to Have the Happiest Marriage Part 3

This is the last part of the book that gives 10-daily habits to become the happiest couple.

We should always talk to each other politely with respect.

The spiritualist Dae Mo Nim advised women to speak toward their husband with soft words and not demanding words or words of accusation or roughly say words  such as "Did you do it?" "when will you come back?" "Did you eat".

You don't have to be overly nice either by saying "Could you please?" or "Would you please?", but use words of respect toward the husband.  If the wife respects the husband then then children will emulate the mother and show respect to him as their father.

You should not just lightly have conversation with your spouse as if you were speaking to a casual friend.  The children will see how the parents speak to one another and will influence the children and they will try to speak the same way.  Women must absolutely respect their husband, then the children will respect him, too.

As a matter of course, a husband should also talk to his wife with respect. Some languages (e.g., Japanese) have a conspicuous difference between the male daily language and the female daily language and an implicit bias against women in their languages. 

We should determine to speak a new language of love in the coming of Heaven on Earth.  

We should practice hoon dok hae (i.e., reading True Parents’ speeches or the Bible or equivalent religious text for other faiths) together every day.

There is  importance of centering on the vertical love of God in order to bring about genuine unity between a husband and wife.

A husband and wife should show utmost importance to the relationship of the vertical God rather than the horizontal attitude.  God requires that a couple are more attached to His foundation of love.  

Through this practice of love centered on God, then the Heavenly Kingdom will be established on earth.
It is important to practice reading God's word words in the home if you want to receive God's vertical love.  When a couple reads together regularly even if briefly, then a great amount of spiritual blessing will come.  They can accomplish one heart and body on a higher level centering on God's vertical love. 

Here are True Parent’s words on the significance and purpose of hoondokhae:

How can we set up the tradition?

You must inherit the tradition. And you must practice the tradition after knowing it. You must inherit the tradition during the day and night.  As it is the place to learn the tradition, once you know it, you must act in accordance with the way that Heaven and I have made efforts to set up with difficulty, and establish your own family and nation. This is very important."

The whole family should practice this tradition to have a stable foundation.  This is spiritual food, nourishment for your bodies. Your spirit body yearns for food, just as much as your physical body.  You spirit can grow by eating the delicious spiritual food of God's words. 

Do not practice to just hear words.  You practice in order to live and find out what you will do for the day and what attitude you should have.  Each family is expected to practice it each and every day.
It is very important practice reading God's words as a daily-life habit as a husband and wife.

10. We Should Make Love at Least Twice a Week

Many religious couples view sex as a secular or wrong act and rarely make love to their partner.  And once they do, they quickly finish the act of love-making and to save time to do more work for God.  This kind of attitude toward love-making, a God-given act, is wrong.  

The act of making love is a holy act between a married couple is God strongly recommends it.  That is right.  God created this act for the enjoyment of a married couple, how would He view this act as wrong?

It was only after the fallen act of Adam and Eve misuse of their sexual organs, did making love become viewed in the wrong light.

Father advised that married couples, therefore, make love more frequently and for a longer period of time than those in the secular world and to do so earnestly by dedication their life to the act.  It is that precious.

What privilege have we been bestowed as humans beings blessed as lords of creation?
Animals make love for procreation once a year.  Human beings privilege, on the other hand transcend all the seasons.  

Some couples think that just thinking about sex or imagine sex itself is a bad action.  This is not an illegitimate act but an act of true love centered on God.  It is recommended to think every day how to make love to our spouse.

Where can God and human beings meet?  When man and woman become one through love making, God will meet human beings.  In other words, when they become one centering on their sexual organs. Because humans fell centered on the sexual organs misuse, it devastated the whole world thereafter and ruined heaven and earth.

The fallen in act in the Garden of Eden, caused our sexual organs to become evil.  So, when husband and wife make love, they should think they are welcoming God.  We should look at our lovely body as how we will connect it centering on love and serve and welcome God and ask "How can i make love centering on true love?"

Dae Mo Nim has also repeatedly emphasized that Blessed couples make love more frequently and more willingly.

It is a wrong attitude for a wife to tell her husband that she does not like to make love and reject their husband when he has a desire for lovemaking.
Who is the owner of the wife's sexual organ?

Members of the church who had adultery confessed that they fell because their wives failed to fulfill their responsibilities as a wife.  The wife lacked heart for making love so the husband ended up getting his fill outside the home.

Therefore, the wife must completely open her sexual organ, so that her husband can really come and play in there; she must open her heart and body, so that her husband can freely visit various places of her body. Did you understand? 

The wife must open her heart and body.

A wife should let her husband make love to her as if he was to enjoy visiting a stream, a rocky area, a riverside field, a flower garden, a mountain and a grass field.  If this is not natural, the wife should study how to let her husband enjoy the various locations of creation including her sexual organ and open it for this purpose.

God has educated the church's spiritualist through drawing a scene, yet members of the church never learned how to practice visualizing this and actualizing it in their daily lives.  

Do you know who has practiced exploring the sexual parts?  Satan, women in clubs and harlots.  They are the masters of the sexual organs and how to let men freely enjoy their body.  They first learned and practiced through evil means even selling their bodies more frequently.  Sex education of the proper conjugal relationship should be taught in the church.  

People believe that ministers should not speak about sex or teach such an education.  Even though God gives a married couple the privilege to share in the joy of lovemaking who practiced it more frequently and enjoyed it more?

Those on Satan’s side did! Therefore, as a husband and wife, you must have a time to make love really to your heart’s content, holding each other’s hand. Do you understand?

People on the side of Satan enjoyed lovemaking more.  Therefore, a husband and wife must have time to make love really to their heart's content, holding each other's hand.  do you understand?

In a  couple's sexual life, God explains that this act is like playing as much as you want and the more that a couple makes love, the greater the amount of joy and beauty is generated.

Then a man and woman can become one in heart and body while nurturing their hearts. Then the couple becomes happy. When you act in that way, the wife will not feel discontented, nor will the husband.

A couple creates an inseparable bond of heart when they give and receive beautiful love with each other.  An emotional bond is not already formed through love making first.  We should not think in reverse.   do not say, "I do not feel love, so how do I make love to my husband" or when she is upset with her husband she wants to withhold from him.  A spouse is to nurture a loving heart while making love.

The best frequency of love-making seems to be 3 or 4 times a week in the case of couples in their 20s and 30s, who eagerly want pregnancy, and around twice a week for those couples in their 50s and over. True Father told those wives at a Blessing workshop that without a child that they “should make love once in two days” to make sure to give birth to a baby.

As a daily-life habit, to become a supremely happy couple, a married couple should make love at least twice a week, except during times on a woman's menses.  

Of course the age difference and individual differences  should be considered in the account of the frequencies of the couple's lovemaking.  

The quality of the act of love-making is the most important thing, not the quantity.  The important point is that the husband and wife be deeply moved by God's creativity and His heart and offer deep thanks to God while they make love beautifully with respect and love for each other.  This way, God can be moved by watching the beautiful scene of their lovemaking.

With respect and love for one another centering on God, if a couple wants to make love beautifully, they should without fail make time for foreplay and quality time for after play.  This is for the wife's sake every time they make love.  

Father said specifically that husbands should understand the significance of foreplay in lovemaking because young men do not understand its importance.  Wives can feel the utmost joy.

Some husbands immediately after they ejaculate turn their backs to their wives and quickly fall asleep. This habit will make for a very unhappy wife.  This kind of husband will make his wife feel used and that she was for his selfish need.  She cannot feel love from him. 

A wife can feel supreme joy while whispering words of admiration and thanks to her husband who gently kisses, hugs her tightly.  They can have intimate pillow talk while they embrace each other or hold each other's hand, every time they make love.  Unlike men, women's sexual excitement and do not drop sharply after they make love.  Therefore, a husband should be mindful and responsive to his wife's needs for "heartistic" love at the end of each sexual act.

Before a couple experiences menopause this act means intercourse accompanies the act of insertion as a matter of course.  For a couple after menopause, there are frequent cases where it is difficult to have ordinary intercourse because of health problems of their aged sexual organs or a malfunction.

In these cases, however, a couple can still experience joy of love and satisfaction by just kissing and caressing with the use of their hands and mouth (both tongue and lips) apart front he act of insertion.
I would like to clarify that for those couples after menopause, “to make love” does not necessarily mean to have sexual intercourse that includes the act of insertion. 

This clarification is in consideration of those older couples, so that they can also easily reach the grade of “A+” in self-evaluating and scoring the degree of the couple’s practice of “the 10 daily-life habits that make a supremely happy couple.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: West and East Must Unite

How to Have the Happiest Marriage Book Part 2

Thanks for returning for these 10 tips to a very happy marriage tested and practiced by people married over 20 years.


5. We should call each other at least once a day in the daytime and always keep in touch.

The next is advice given to husbands about what their attitudes should be while they are working outside the home.  With the rush of life these days, easily a couple can spend time with coworkers more than with their spouse.

Therefore, we should take care during the day in our thinking and care about our spouse.  A husband is wrong if he doesn't call at least once to his wife at home or that she worries where he is all the time.  Husbands can talk a long time on the phone with others, but are reluctant to call their own life.  

When the husband is taking a lunch break, he shouldn't think that because his wife can take care of herself that she doesn't need to be asked if she ate lunch during lunchtime.  A husband should call his wife to see if she ate.

A wife's attitude once her husband leave for work is to visualize the hard work the husband does outside the home.  The woman should trusts that her husband is doing an admirable thing.  She should become a wife that calls the husband to check to see what he ate for lunch and how did it taste.

It is small sentimental moments as these that touch the spouses' heart, remind of one another while away and show the tender care you have as a reminder of what brought the two of you together.

The writer of the Book spoke on this point about his own marriage:

"My wife called me every morning and every evening, and it was our couple’s daily habit that we talk on the phone twice a day. Always staying in touch with each other through phone calls was tremendously helpful to us for our heart-to-heart relationship."

The technology of cell phones has developed very rapidly, and the cost of phone calls has dropped sharply, especially when using alternative lines. Consequently, no matter where the husband may be, and regardless of where the wife is, it has become possible for a married couple to freely have an intimate talk

The young people of today take for granted how cheap and conveniently easy it is to stay in touch with anyone from around the world.  This makes it easy for a couple to have intimate talk during the long hours they are away from one another.

When a couple work separately during the day, they should make a strong effort to develop a heart-to-heart relationship through talking over the phone regularly.

6. We should bow down before the picture of True Parents (Same as Jesus and Holy Spirit) , recite the Family Pledge and report (pray) to God together

This can cater to your faith.  Some faiths already have some kind of altar with a picture of the founders of their respective faiths. While facing each other and holding each other’s hands and bow (or pay some kind of respect) to each other at the end, every morning and every night.

This is best done during a new day in the morning and at the end of the day before going to sleep.  The couple bows to each other, recite the Family Pledge or equivalent of a commitment for each day such as the "Lord's Prayer", report to God what you plan to do for that day, while facing each other and holding hands, bow to the picture or equivalent to the founder of the faith.

"My wife and I liked to offer a full bow to each other lowering the head all the way down to the floor. However, if you and your wife are neither Korean nor Japanese, the couple may make a slight bow to each other while standing, and hug warmly after greeting to God and True Parents, ideally with a full bow.

My wife and I also made it a rule to hug each other and to say each other, “Let’s do our best today,” or something like that, in order to encourage each other in the morning, or “Thank you very much for your hard work for today,”to show thanks at night, after bowing to each other. It is important for us to practice the daily-life habit of expressing love and respect not only to God and True Parents, but also to our spouse."

Here is Dae Mo Nim’s(church spiritualist) advice on the importance of offering a bow and reporting (praying) to True Parents (Equivalent Jesus and Holy Spirit) every day:

"Every member has a picture of True Parents in their home. The picture conveys the meaning that True Parents, who are united with God, can come to your home and are, indeed, at your home. God and True Parents do not exist in a place far away from you. 

You must think that spiritually they are always watching your whole life. It is very important in our life of attendance that we thank God, who is the origin of true love, and True Parents who have come as the substantial embodiment of true love.

When we live in the evil world, in the realm of Satan, it is very difficult to live without the protection of God and True Parents. I recommend that you offer a bow to the picture of True Parents in the morning, saying, “I will really live with God today. I will work centering on God and True Parents, without showing any self-centeredness and arrogance.

When you come home after the day’s work, you should examine whether or not you have lived the entire day with God, saying, 'Heavenly Father and True Parents, thank you very much for allowing me to come home safely.  Thank you very much for allowing me to come home without any accident from this evil world'. You must make this kind of practice your daily-life habit. You cannot faithfully live a life of attendance if you live a life halfheartedly."

Both the husband and wife will slightly bend the fingers of both hands, extend both hands in front of each other, place each other’s right hand with the back of the hand upon the palm of his or her spouse’s left hand, combine each other’s fingertips in both hands, and lightly hold hands with their fingertips. 

Then, a couple offers a report (prayer).

Thanks to the great victory of the Second Advent, the new providential age has dawned when we can unconditionally receive the special grace of “the realm of complete freedom” from Satan’s accusation. Therefore, as the representatives of the victorious True Parents, we Blessed couples can now become God’s branch temples wherein God always dwells.

Revelation 21:3 of the New Testament prophesied the advent of “a new heaven and a new earth”: 

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will always be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes.

"We are living in the beginning of the long awaited new heaven and new earth, which billions of your ancestors in the spirit world, who have come and gone in history, have yearned for. This is the era of the kingdom of the peaceful, ideal world."

We are living in the time that was prophesied in the book of Revelations in the Bible.  God will dwell with us directly on earth.

"My wife and I personally changed the style of our couple’s reporting (praying) to the posture of facing each other with both hands extended and clasping each other. As a result, we became more deeply conscious that God does not reside in heaven far away from us outside our home, but in fact dwells within the bodies of our couple here on earth. 

As we looked at each other’s face while reporting to God, the spouse’s face sometimes appeared to be like God’s. Consequently, more and more, my wife and I came to feel that each of us was a precious reflection of God’s duality of masculinity and femininity."


7.  We  should always send off, and welcome home, our husband (wife) by holding his (her) hand, kissing, and/ or hugging at the front door when he (she) goes out for work, and returns from work.

We should practice at least one point for the seventh habit: holding his or her hand, kissing, and hugging.  You are free to practice all of the points at the same time.  When the husband returns home the wife shouldn't stay in the back room, but be able to greet her husbad who wants to hear such words at least three times.

The husband comes back home extremely exhausted and rather than hear the problems of the wife's day want to receive comfortable words from his wife and children.  If the woman habitually stays in a another room when her husband returns, daily this will deplete his love for his wife in an instant.

A wife should anticipate the return of her husband and wait for him at the entrance with the first sign of his return and be excited that he is home, "Honey, you're back, welcome home!" Any husband that comes home to a welcome home parade led by his wife and children will feel that he truly has arrived at the the Heavenly Kingdom.

Dae Mo Nim also spoke to wives about their attitudes when a husband leaves home for work in the morning. You also should not simply let your husband go to work in the morning. At least hold his hand when you see him off.

According to the wishes of almost all wives, when their husband leaves home for work, some wives want him to hug her, and other wives want him to hold his their hands or kiss her. Have you done that?

There are more husbands who have not done that than those who did. Those who say, “I have done that,” only practiced it once in a very great while. Is that true? That is not good.

A husband and wife's hands together should create the same hot feelings that is felt on a long hot day.  When a husband does this, he will come to not look at any other woman but his wife.  The other women will become invisible to his eyes.  A man should become the type of husband that can hug, kiss, and hold his wife's hands warmly.

A husband has to become a person who can give absolute love to his wife. 

Some church members are expressionless in the morning.  If we look at men in the secular world they are not ideal either.

A husband should be able to embrace their beloved wife even in the morning.

A husband who touches his wive's breast and caresses her hands in the morning will have a wife that could live off of her husband's love all day.  A wife that can consume such love can live during the day for the sake of her husband and children.  The person who lives and thrives on her husband’s love is the happy wife. 

Before a husband leaves for the day, he should hold his wife's hands, hug her tightly, touch her breast, or kiss her.  If any man acts this way toward his wife, she would be enchanted and filled with an euphoric feeling thinking, "I am the happiest woman in the world".

Would this be true or not?

This is the testimony about the author of the Divine Principle which this blog is based upon:

"Regularly there was a time for prisoners to see their wives and families. When True Mother visited True Father, they always kissed each other intimately in public. True Father also ordered Mr. Kamiyama to kiss his wife, who regularly visited him, boldly in public without hesitation.

One of the things Mr. Kamiyama learned from Reverend Moon was sent to prison was the importance of expressing affection between a husband and wife. 

In fact, watching Mr. Kamiyama’s hesitant attitude toward his wife, in prison, True Father ordered him to 'teach our members to express affection more openly between a husband and wife', after his release from the prison."

Couples should inherit this tradition and accomplish one heart, one body, one mindset, and one harmony as a husband and wife just like True Parents. Many Blessed husbands seem to be poor at expressing affection to their wives.

As the Coming of Heaven and Earth settles, we should throw away the old culture of conjugal relations in the past.  The selfish practices do not have a place while establishing the ideal world centered on God's love.

We are inheriting a new heavenly culture of true conjugal love that has been established by the True Parents which have shown us an ideal model which gives us the daily-life habits of true love in order to become supremely happy couples.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: How to Have the Happiest Marriage Book Part 3

Yoshihiko Masuda, PhD (Professor, CheongShim Graduate School of Theology

This book is in large part was rewritten from the English translation of the Japanese booklet.

CheongShim GST University Press

Based on the Speeches of True Parents and Dae Mo Nim

Published by CheongShim GST University Press

Copyright

ⓒ 2010 by Yoshihiko Masuda

All Rights Reserved

Published in the Republic of Korea by CheongShim GST University Press

How to Have the Happiest Marriage Part I

Daily life habits of a supremely happy couple

 A Guide to the Happiest Married Life

The Original text of DP is given in Korean and the philosophy and based on the teachings of the bible and of Jesus. With the combined teachings of the Eastern philosophy and teachings of the Western bible, the Reverend has been able to tap into the hearts of people of all religions, faiths and along with non-believers for one reason: the teaching of the heart of God which is rooted in every human being.

When I first posted the "How to Have the Happiest Marriage Book" it was receiving the highest views and still gets a lot of views.

When you think about it, there is not any school for what to do once you find love or finally take the plunge into marriage   There are no rules other than our respective religions and then the opinions of those around us.  But, would we want to take the advice from people who have a history of broken relationships?

I think when it comes to obtaining the right marital advice, it does start from a source that is well grounded.  Whether it be a grandparent who has been married for over 50 years, neighbors who have  been through hell and back, yet stuck through it without a divorce.  There is the spiritual leader, our church pastors.  Yet.  Who really has the answer when it comes to the matters of the heart?

We should first take a look where the source of marriage came.  God blessed us in the Garden as a man and woman for what purpose?  Why didn't he just make Adam alone?  What good would it had been for God to love just one man?  Thank goodness he made a counterpart with a whole different view, look and mind to help stimulate more of God's internal Being.

With that said, Adam and Eve did not start their marriage in the right way - they did not start their marriage centered  on God or within the Garden of Eden.  But let's just look at the original way in which God intended.

God is suppose to give the blessing of marriage.  Marriage now is just a conditional form, not ideally approved by God Himself.  How do we know this?

If God was to conduct the first marriage, it is called the Marriage Supper of the Lamb which refers to a perfected man and a perfected woman who love absolutely centered on God this marriage would bare children with God's direct lineage.  Currently, marriages are conducted which bare children born into sin.  Does this kind of marriage sound like it holds the wish of God's ideal world?

It is far from His direction.

In this sense, God is looking for a man and woman who He can relate with His perfected self, who have walked the course of indemnity to return their respected lineages back to Him.

In other words, all marriages that are conducted on earth, need to connect directly to God.  God gave us the blessing to be linked to our counterparts, would it not make sense that we need to connect to God in order for it to work?  Marriage without the root of God can be likened to a leave blowing off the branch.  It may seem to work for a while, but it is completely disconnected from the foundation on which to stand.

The following text was written by an author who had extensive training and missions in order to train his body and mind to become united centered on God.  He had the goal to become a child that appeared  in front of God before the fall.

He understands the basic rules of no sex outside of marriage or with anyone other than their spouse, their sexual organs only belong to their spouse and that spouses live for one another.

In the book that lists the 20 habits of the happiest couple, it is advised that they are practiced at least sometimes if not everyday.

This method is used by many couples in this world, even before their marriage.

No matter how bad it seems a couple's relationship is, they can indeed improve their conjugal relationship.  We hear all of the time that marriage and relationships take a lot of work...but sometimes this kind of 'work' becomes a chore, instead of a link to bond a couple even stronger in marriage.

It is best if one has guidance on what seems to be common place.  A couple can greatly improve their marriage by following the following steps.

Method for the Improvement Through Practice

If you have not yet been practicing these habits, please read carefully and repeatedly the speeches of Dr. Rev. Sun Myung Moon (author of the Divine Principle) and Dae Mo Nim (spiritualist) in addition to this text. 

When a couple truly love one another and don't want to give up on their seemingly failing marriage, it will not be work to experiment with the daily habits, but will well up from the heart.

"After practicing these habits on an experimental basis, you may cease practicing them if you as a couple does not feel good. Nonetheless, after practicing these habits experimentally, I am sure your couple will end up in practicing them continuously because you will come to feel a deep sense of peace and goodness in your heart." 

In other words, you can feel genuinely happy, and you can feel the presence of God by practicing them.

These 10 daily habits are free to experiment without having to pay for an expensive therapists or counseling which either partner may not want to attend or follow their advice.  No matter how poor a couple may be, they can practice without worrying about getting a bill.

A couple will find they can live in happiness even into eternity by following these 10 daily-life habits while on earth.  Just simply continue to practice these daily-life habits o true love.


The Value of Holding Hands

We could easily say that “holding each other’s hand” or living “hand in hand,” which Rev. Moon and Dae Mo Nim have recommended, is the main characteristic emerging from these “10 daily-life habits that make a supremely happy couple.”

Did you know that there is a special spiritual energy which comes from our fingers and palms?  We use them to heal our bodies, to rid ourselves with negative energy and to make others feel better with a massage.  A hand massage from a partner contributes to happy feelings and to our physical health.  The art of hand holding may be lost in our current world, but is vitally important in connecting with our spouse. 

10 "Commandments of Hand holding

1. We should always walk hand in hand when we go out with our spouse.
2. We should always hold our spouse’s hand when we watch TV together.
3. We should always hold each other’s hand in bed and have pillow-talk before going to sleep.
4. We should sleep naked together in one bed every night.
5. We should call each other at least once a day during the daytime and always keep in touch.
6. We should bow down before a picture of True Parents, recite the Family Pledge, report to God facing each other and holding each other’s hands, and bow (down) to each other to close, every morning and every night.
7. We should always send off and welcome home our husband (wife), by holding his (her) hand, kissing, and/or hugging at the front door when he (she) goes out for work and returns from work.
8. We should always talk to each other politely, and with respect.
9. We should practice reading True Parents’ speeches together every day.
10. We should make love at least twice a week.

I guess number 4 made a lot of us blush or stop and reread.  Maybe some are asking?  "What, a religious site suggest us to what?"   I must bust a lot of peoples' bubbles, as probably regularly for those reading this site.  Marriage, sex, love...was designed by God and for God to be a part of it between a husband and wife.

These 10 points of advice are not my personal advice, but are from Dr. Rev. Sun Myung Moon, his wife and Dae Mo Nim. These 10 points are gathered from the guidance of True Parents and Dae Mo Nim, concerning our lives as a husband and wife.

By following this lists, our conjugal relationship will tremendously improve and be uplifted by a strong ascending wind current. If you haven’t practiced any of these habits yet, I strongly recommend that you immediately put them into practice.

Try them out! You have nothing to lose!

I would like to present True Parent’s and Dae Mo Nim’s speeches that support these “10 habits that make a supremely happy couple.”

1. We should always walk hand in hand when we go out with our spouse.

Most Asians have the habit of the husband walking ahead of the wife, sometimes walking so fast they leave the wife behind.  The founder of the Family Federation who is Korean, walks hand and hand with his wife.  Dae Mo Nim is a spiritualist who suggest that when holding hands it is while walking outside and in the couple's daily lives.

Even as an "elderly" couple, the founder and his wife would hold hands while watching television and desire for others to learn how to interact in their own marriage by observing them.  They have even influenced the President and First Lady of Korea and leaders to walk in public hand and hand.

As we can tell from the practice of using our fingers and palms during the workshops to rid our bodies of negative energy, “special spiritual energy” comes out of our fingers and palms. That’s why it is recommended to walk “hand in hand” rather than “arm in arm.” 

So, if we walk hand in hand as a couple, we can give and receive the effect of a hand massage, which contributes not only to our spiritual health but also to our physical health. I wholeheartedly recommend “always walking hand in hand” just like True Parents; it is part of the True Parents’ rules of health: “Become an absolute Blessed couple of one heart and one body.”

Walking hand in hand has more of a positive energy than walking arm in arm.  

"Become an absolute Blessed Couple of one heart and one body."

A couple is advised to hold hands when walking together, sleeping together and even while watching television.  Each time a couple holds hands, it brings about an unity of a husbands five fingers with his wife's five fingers. 

When we walk hand and hand, we should give deep thanks to God within our hearts for the coming heaven on earth that will bring about the ideal world he set to build before the fall.

When a husband and wife completely become one, God can dwell within us.

2. We should always hold our spouse’s hand when we watch TV together.

3. We should always hold each other’s hand in bed and have pillow-talk before going to sleep.

They are watching TV while holding each other’s hand. When they listen to music, they are listening while holding each other’s hand and responding to the rhythm. We Blessed couples must resemble such True Parents.

Holding hands while listening to music and responding to the rhythm.  When you are tired, you must not just simply go to sleep when you are tired at night, but sleep holding your partner's hand or other parts of the body. 

Also while watching television, it is best to hold hands, or place your hand on their lap or your husband's knee.  You can also use his lap as a pillow.  When you act in this way you will receive love from your husband in many ways.  Many wives do not act in this way basically neglecting their partner with this kind of affection.

Love is what you nurture and create with your own effort.

When watching television, some partners sit far apart as if they are fighting or were strangers to each other in the past.  This is not good.  If a couple does not make constant effort to stay close and to care for one another, they will gradually drift apart.  

Therefore, it is a good practice to hold each other's hands while watching television or while sleeping.

Many religious people do not express their love in their daily lives as if it was a sin.  A husband and wife should say "good night" to one another while holding each other's hand and squeeze tightly in the end. They can do this while laying in the bed at night, after scratching each other on the back, while massaging the legs or touching the ear and head and so on.

Many go about their daily rituals, but when it comes to practicing true love with their own hands, many partners hesitate.  Many older couples fail to change their old habits for completely new ones in their daily lives.

If Jesus was followed completely toward the end by his disciples, there would not have been a need for him to die for us, but live for us.  He would have found a blessed wife and teach us about marriage through his own ideal marriage given by God.  Jesus was supposed to be the fulfillment of the Marriage  Supper of the Lamb.

If this is hard to believe, just imagine that God had brought Jesus to teach us more than how to be a child of God and brother to humanity.  He was supposed to reverse the mistake the first marriage made and return it to God.  Just imagine a faithful Son of God and Daughter of God in marriage on earth.  Wouldn't we want to emulate this type of couple?

Even with this foundation on earth of a marriage from God, if his followers did not practice their teachings about a conjugal life, this heavenly fortune and happiness will fly from them.  One needs to obediently practice the words by getting rid of old habits, and ideals of the fallen, extremely secularized world.

This fallen world loosely use their sexual organs  and have several partners without a care for consequences of heart or destruction.  If one cannot give up old habits of the world, they are unfaithful foolish people who have given up the task of becoming a married couple with the most supreme happiness.

It is possible to have a happy, fulfilling and loving marriage centered on God

How can a religious person succeed in their witnessing and converting people to God's ideal if they do not have a happy union with their partners?  Who wants to have a lifestyle of sadness or a worse situation than what they already experience?  

Only after having happy marriages and a life-style in which God had in mind when He created human beings, then we can we naturally witness to our relatives and those in our communities.  If we look at the Mormon Church whose history is shorter than that of the Episcopal Church, have grown bigger.

The key to its success consists in the happy family-life of its members. Reportedly, a very small number of its members joined the Mormon Church because of its unique theology. The majority of its new members joined because they were attracted by the happy family-life of the Mormon Church members.

The author of this guide for marriage said he and his wife were practicing this advice:

"I used to be a typical Japanese man who was poor at expressing love.  After collecting True Parent’s and Dae Mo Nim’s speeches on the practice of true love, I felt compelled to put them into practice.

By faithfully implementing such teachings, my wife and I felt so peaceful and happy that we soon made it a rule, for example, to hold each other’s hand while in bed before going to sleep and while watching TV together. My wife and I always felt very peaceful and happy feelings through holding each other’s hand. As a result, my wife and I always held each other’s hand whenever possible, because it felt very good. While she was still alive on earth, my wife repeatedly said to me, 'It is my happiest time to have ‘pillow-talk’ while holding each other’s hand in bed'.”

4. We should sleep naked together in one bed every night.

As for the “sleeping naked” part of the fourth daily-life habit is explained more extensively in another post. 

A husband and wife must sleep together under one quilt and live feeling in love with each other, just as couples do in Korea. But many married couples in Japan sleep in separate futons or beds. 

It is fundamentally wrong to sleep separately.

In one family the wife used the small room and the husband used the back room;this couple lived their lives separately even though they were under the same roof.  This kind of life is really wrong.  Even if you fight with your husbands, you must not sleep in a separate room and take your pillow with you.

“A husband and wife should sleep naked in one bed, not in two separate beds.”

A husband and wife should take all of their clothes off and sleep naked in the same bed every night;A couple should not sleep in separate beds.  If this is a possible habit to partake, does this kind of husband fight everyday or quarrel before they leave in the morning or sleep at night together?

It is impossible.

Even if your husbands snores as loud as a boar, a husband and wife should sleep in one bed.  Even if she has to wear the new effective ear plugs made for astronauts, she should determine to sleep with her husband every night.

Return Tomorrow for : How to Have the Happiest Marriage Part 2

The previous text was rewritten from the book given by a Unification Church member now called the Family Federation based on the values taught by the founder, Dr. Reverend Sun Myung Moon, married for over 50 years before his death this September, which is centered on his teachings of the Divine Principle. 

 Yoshihiko Masuda, PhD(Professor, CheongShim Graduate School of Theology

This book is in large part the English translation of my Japanese booklet CheongShim GST University Press Based on the Speeches of True Parents and Dae Mo Nim Published by CheongShim GST University Press

Copyright

ⓒ 2010 by Yoshihiko Masuda

All Rights Reserved

Published in the Republic of Korea by CheongShim GST University Press