"When you are permitted by God to start your family, you are being permitted to begin working on your basic right to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. In other words, that is the first step towards realizing the Kingdom of Heaven."
Today, we see many marriages do not last beyond a few years, but we do not hear much about the faithful marriages that last unto death. As the world moved more toward the goal of materialism and individualism, a man and woman in marriage found it harder to stay together, but it is possible.
In order to be married, one must have acquired the heart to love unconditionally and give unceasingly to their spouse. We are living in a culture where each spouse wants to receive and not give. Secondly, marriages without God at the center are doomed to fail without direction or hope of how to live as a true husband and wife.
God spent thousands of years to work through lineage to bring one man and woman together in order to restore the mistake of the first husband and wife.
He originally intended for man and woman to join together absolutely centered on His ideal without the presence of the fall. God in these last days has hope through the unity of a man and woman and their family, a world a peace will begin.
When we look at the significance of marriage from God's point-of-view, should we look at our spouse and go, "I don't like the way he look," or "I wish he was more educated" or some sort of criticism? This is selfish thinking when a couple has not given their marriage even three years to develop before giving up.
A couple has many forces of oppositions from the moment they bring their different backgrounds and differences under one roof. How can anyone dislike their spouse without even giving the relationship a try to connect?
In the Unification Church, individuals learn the teachings of the Divine Principle, the Completed Testament, and align their lives toward God's vision of restoring man. The founder of the church, as God's representative, matches two individuals together in marriage. Sometimes, members will have their own idea and characteristics of a spouse and insist on being matched to such a person. This is a self-centered way of thinking and not for the purpose of the whole.
Father Moon was never enthusiastic about matching such individuals together based on their taste alone, because they weren't assured to have normal, healthy children and have a long healthy life. Lineage is more important than love. Those who insisted strongly to be match to someone solely based on their own desires, oftentimes found one spouse or the other met an untimely death through accident or disease.
"Can you make your own happiness by yourself? No, you need someone who can help you. Who is that someone? That is the True Parents, the Divine Principle, the Heavenly world, and especially God."
We absolutely need God in the choosing of our spouse. How do you truly know someone background, ancestry, their character or their past deeds? Father Moon takes matching two individuals seriously and only with God's direct blessing, and has more knowledge about marriage and children. He said he is more serious about his member's marriages than they are.
"When I tell you, "Such a marriage will not work," you may wonder how I can know. I have a special spiritual "antenna" which never fails. When I feel a match is bad, it is always bad. That is not because I want it to be bad; it is simply the truth." SMM
Are you ready to create an ideal family?
The author of the Divine Principle said that if he had said something wrong to someone, it took seven months of intense effort and prayer to rectify that action and still the situation was never as good as before.
If just a few words could cause such intense damage, what about a wrong act of love? It would take tens of thousands of years to restore that mistake. This is why your marriage is the most awesome experience and at the same time the most fearful position to be in. Do people think deeply about their marriage that this chance only comes once in hundreds of thousands of years?
A marriage blessed directly by God, when that couple goes out, will have the attention of all of spirit world and God's attention like an invisible limelight following them.
We should not evaluate our spouse or others based on just superficial attributes or physical appearances. The true ideal marriage is much deeper than these superficial qualities.
By Heavenly standard, if we already are thinking about kissing each other, we have the mouth of a thief. When we look at our spouse, we should see them with ideal eyes and have a pure spiritually elevated feeling toward our spouse. The wedding ceremony is really a place of great judgment. If you and your spouse make a good foundation for your marriage, then you will receive Heavenly reward.
If your marriage makes a bad foundation, it is irreversible and you will make hell for yourself. Some people when they find this out feel overwhelmed as the wedding approaches and ask, "What should I do?"
"One thing you can do is to have complete trust in the words I have spoken. Receive those words as your protection and your supervision. If you try to live in accordance with those words for your life, you can be confident about the future. If you resolve not to waver or look back you can have confidence."
Father Moon advises to pledge to God one thing:
After you have pledged to never give up on your spouse as your best support, your children will remind you of your past mistakes if you ever transgress on your promise. If you are to divorce, after knowing the quality of marriage how guilty would you feel for the rest o your life? Your own heart, body and spirit will judge and curse you more than anyone else.
Before your marriage, you should set your mind to do well and not make a mistake so goodness will come to you. When problems arise, we should not look at other people and find fault with them. Instead we should look within ourselves.
People will respect you, your spouse will respect you and will be inspired to love you. When a husband respects his wife and treats her well, she will be inspired to be obedient to him because this is the Heavenly standard of marriage which God created.
This text explains why how external appearance alone does not constitute who a person truly is. If one can attest that they are completely perfect in heart and spirit centered on God, than they are qualified to choose any spouse they wish and criticize their spouse in any way they wish.
"In the Bible there is a very graphic illustration of this point. Jesus came upon a crowd preparing to stone to death a woman caught in immorality, according to the law of the time. Before they killed her they asked Jesus his opinion about the situation.
At first he just bent down and wrote with his finger in the sand, pretending to ignore them. However, the people pressed him to answer and he told them that those people who were free of sin should throw the first stones. One by one, the crowd dispersed until there was no one there except the accused woman who bowed down to Jesus."
What about you and me? Are we better than these people? Some women will criticize others, but refuse to be criticized. Each women represent all womenkind, so if you treat your spouse unjustly, no one will know, but women in spirit world will know and accuse you deeply. The same is true for men.
We must understand the true meaning of marriage.
"According to the maturity and genuineness of your love, the real blessings of life will come to you."
Blessing goes to those who are grateful in every situation even the difficult ones.
"Sometimes I give money to someone in order to see how he will spend it. I always respect the person who carefully uses his money and saves as much as he can to use for the best purpose. Some people just spend money without thinking."
To establish a tradition, you need to have three generations observing it, grandparents, parents, and children.
It is more valuable to be grateful toward God in a bitter situation than when receiving a lot of blessing which anybody can be grateful then.
Usually people pray to have the best husband or wife, but the one who prays, "I will be satisfied with anyone You give to me, because I will help her to be the best woman in the world." This type of person will receive the best and most handsomest spouse.
That is the principle.
We must remember how much God labored and how our spouse is the fruit of a long and complex history. One should not say, "I don't like him or her". Even God does not reject anyone. What makes us so great to be above God himself with our own wild tastes and preferences?
Haven't we seen the disastrous results from choosing our own mates based on our own selfish desires? We should consult God in our marriage. We should digest all the bad points of our spouse and not just enjoy their good points. Whatever these points are, we should learn to love him or her.
This text was rewritten and taken from the Speech; Ideal Family, Ideal World
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