How Bad Relationships Affect Children

There are consequences to the disorder that our culture and families have encountered.

Children are majorly affected by the downward spiral in morals and relationships.   Let’s review seven of these consequences.

Consequences for Children

1. Impaired development and lowered well-being
2. Depression
3. Ambivalence about family and love
4. Moral and spiritual difficulties
5. Violence and crime
6. Miseducation about sexuality
7. Abuse and exploitation

1. Impaired Development and Lowered Well-Being

Children are raised in a single-parent home have less of an advantage than those in a no abusive, two-parent home.

They are affected spiritually, financially, psychologically, more likely to drop out of high school, become delinquents, and become single parents themselves.

A high percentage of adolescent patients at substance abuse centers came from a single parent home.

Children from such homes tend to have less self-confidence or self-discipline, have more difficultly to be dependable and have a hard time setting and keeping goals.

Many adult children of divorce commonly say “when my parents broke up, my childhood died.”

The absence of a father in the home makes the children become the ‘junior partner’ to their mother’s emotional needs and help take care of the family in place of their father.

This stops the child’s normal development and places a heavy burden on his or her shoulders.


2. Depression

Divorce is the greatest cause of depression in a young person.

A study of 34 countries showed that suicide rates were associated with the increased divorce rates.  This was especially true for the boys.

Yet, children from a secured home that succumbed to constant conflict and destructive arguments between the parents were angry and depressed.

In addition, the parent’s disunity caused their children to bear the brunt as one parent takes their anger against the other out on the children.

For instance, an angry mother may tell a child in her disappointment, “You’re lazy, just like your father.


3. Ambivalence about Family and Love

Brothers and sisters may mimic the serious tension between their parents and act more aggressive towards one another or their peers.

When parents reduce their involvement in their children after a divorce whether financially, emotionally or in disciplining them, the children may feel less love from their parents.

Sons and daughters of divorce frequently report feeling less affection for their parents.

Many children of divorce may see the emotional closeness they have with their parents as a burden.

Divorce can also place a pall over the brothers and sister’s relationship.  When adults experience the break up of their family, they may view their childhood with negativity and report a less fond memory for it and their siblings.

A child of divorce or a single parent can lose the sweet image of having an intact family of their own.

Divorce can leave the children believing that stable relationships are not possible.

A bad relationship between parents will cause the children to have a bad image of their own gender or the other that haunts them throughout their lives.

These feelings intensifies when they reach the marrying age.

Dr. Judith Wallerstein says that they may experience anxiety about relationships which may become part of their personalities.

Children who do not have good role models, especially children of divorce, are afraid of confrontations, loss, loneliness and abandonment.

A child who over bonded with one particular parent which was broken up after the divorce may have a fear of closeness later in life due to the prospect they may lose them.

This anxiety over commitment issues will immobilize many, especially men even though they have a natural desire to have a secure marriage.


4. Moral and Spiritual Difficulties

Parents who separate can also divide their children in other ways.

In a strong family, parents work hard to create one consistent moral code and create a home culture where the child can feel comfortable and comforted.

This is not the case for children who come from a divorced home.

Because a child will go from one house to the next, he or she may live between two worlds or more if there are stepparents.  When the child is too much like one parent, this may seem like disloyalty to the other parent or offend and hurt them.

This is related to a child losing family traditions, neighbors, and friends due to having to relocate or others not being able to relate the same way to the now fractured family.

A parent’s absence after divorce can be a stumbling block to a child understanding God’s nature and His love and truth as our Heavenly Father.

God is viewed as a loving and faithful Father by Christians in the parable the Prodigal Son which rest on the premise of having a positive experience through a parents’ constant presence and their unity.

“I’ve made progress,” reports a young man in his mid-30s whose parents split up when he was small and who barely knew his father. “At first I just got angry and cynical when I heard about ‘God the Father’ in church. Then I gave up the anger and just went blank, especially when it was time to pray.

“Now I am starting to understand who Heavenly Father is through my experiences with my own baby boy.”


5. Violence and Crime

Abel killing his brother Cain in the Biblical account foreshadows the family breakdown we experience today and the rise in crime.

Children from single-parent homes are more likely to have anti-social behavior.

Children of divorce are more likely to exhibit destructive behavior such as crimes, drug use which motivate the crimes and become prison inmates.


6. Miseducation about Sexuality

Our society with loose sexually licentious standards harms the youth and society at large.

Many societies are concerned about unwed teenagers because the young are less equipped to cope with the fallout of physical relations with the opposite sex than adults are.

Three out of four adults disapprove of teenagers engaging in sex before marriage, but they may have a standard for adults.

Majority believe that it is acceptable for adults to engage in such behavior before marriage themselves.  This contradictory standard of adults accepting sex outside marriage makes it hard to enforce a different standard for teenagers.

Is it better to set a guideline for sex outside of marriage according to age if waiting for marriage a holy union is not strong enough?

Age being the only reason to make a teenager wait for sex leaves negative ramifications that happen for older sexually active adults is no different, such as heart break, teenagers will surpass this standard when tempted.

Of course, children do not follow rules so much as they follow the example of those older than they are.

Younger children will pick up the teenagers’ seductive moves when they watch their elders’ favorite rap artist or actress.

Young boys may mimic the older brothers’ exploitation of women and sexually harass their classmates without a second thought.

When children see the celebration of adults having sex outside of marriage or the beautification of it, this diverts the youth from choosing to marry and receive the benefits of waiting for their spouse.

When young people no longer view sex as a part of a marital relationship, then the whole institution of marriage loses its uniqueness and value.

Many have heard their aunts or grandmothers protest, “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”

When sex is easily available, it may partly explain why most hate the idea of marriage in a sexually permissive society.

When sex is easily available without the responsibilities a relationship or marriage brings, it is easy to see why people would want to go the easier route.

When a society no longer honors marriage and chastity, it does not have any basis to guide children to wait for a lasting, successful love and protect them from the hurt of no marital sexual relationships.

There is a natural urge for physical union to be part of a marital companionship which is a need that can be fulfilled only in a marriage.

Despite this, we have become a society that has forgotten this principle when it is easy to come by.


7. Abuse and Exploitation

A permissive sexual attitude and the combination of single parent homes can spell disaster for children.

When children are raised by mothers who have live-in boyfriends or stepfathers not related to them, they are twenty times more likely to be physically or sexually abused than those who are raised by their fathers within an intact marriage.

During the launch of the sexual revolution, child abuse skyrocketed.

This all began when Lucifer exploited his position as Eve’s teacher and protector.

It is wrongly believed that allowing men to have free access to sex to release any sexual frustrations does not have any evidence in the present world.

One factor is that teenage pregnancy and sexual disease as the fruit of encounters not between boys and girls, but girls and older men.

The majority of pregnant girls in the United States began their sexual activity as a result of being raped or seduced by men 27 years old on average.

Even worse, when it is acceptable for people to satisfy their sexual appetites freely even in educated levels through the world becoming one community through social media and transportation, child pornography and child prostitution has exploded.

This is the darkest part of the satanic underside of “sexual freedom” outside of God.

Over a half million impoverished pre-teen and teen girls in Brazil alone have been victims of wealthy adult clients.

Virgins are chosen by adult men to protect themselves from sexually transmitted disease and are then discarded once they become infected.

Thousands of social media feed these perverse appetites.

The most innocent and vulnerable are cast into the mouths of their elders who are the very ones who are to cherish and protect them.


Return for Tomorrow's Post:  Facets of Marriage Education


This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Sun Myung Moon's philosophy on sex and marriage.

New Sexual Revolution, but For God

Primeval act of adultery is at the root of all the myriad distortions of sexual love that have plagued humanity
from the beginning: prostitution, infidelity, rape, incest, fetishes, pornography and sexual addictions.

Even though sex is an intimate act between two adults, it greatly affects culture and the family.

Woodstock was the first liberation for Americans to break away from their parent's traditions such as man and woman marriages, sex only within marriage, one partner for life.

These were all confronted and challenged in order to free one's sexually which they believed religion and marriage placed rules upon.

If one is to look in history, they will see that this event had a negative effect not only on the family, but on the whole nation.  A nation that was built upon the Puritan faith and laws written based upon the Bible by men who proclaimed God as their Creator.

We are slowly declining as a powerful nation, not by outside forces, but by forces within the four walls of individual homes.

The loosening of morals did not bring our country freedom, but brought on enslavement to selfish desires, far from America's unselfish religious beliefs.


Self-Destructive World

Humanity developed corrupt ways of loving through the first family which passed it on to the tribe, society and world levels.

Therefore, civilizations have not correctly learned or understand true love is the dominant way of life.

In the Genesis story of Adam and Eve, the two brothers try to subjugate one another.  Instead of gaining power, prestige or property naturally with love, these therefore became prizes to be conquered by those who sacrificed others for themselves.

Self-centered love spawned a self-destructive world. This is the essence of hell.

Our world went from God's ideal of Heaven on Earth to one of anguish and suffering.

The misuse of love in the first family is the basis for all sexual abuse: prostitution, infidelity, rape, incest, fetishes, porn and sexual addictions.

Great nations have been brought down by the illusive power of romantic love and lust and is the basis for the tensions that break families apart.  This spreads to the community level and relentlessly works against any harmony in society.

Promiscuous sex leaves one lonely, disconnected, depletes their spirit and afflicts the heart and mind.



Establishing a New Tradition

The misuse of sexual love at the origin of human civilization has disconnected the true relationship between the mind and body, man and woman and God and humanity.

God brought about religion in order to teach His children to stop this destructive behavior through the power of His divine Wor; through teaching about sexual morality.

God's commandment to not eat the fruit was given to the first man.  This original word has been given time and again over history through diverse religions.




When men and women uphold and preserve chastity, they are safeguarding the universe.”


Rev. Sun Myung Moon

These toxic patterns of love today must be turned around.

To redeem sexuality and true love as an object of purity, God must reside with joy in each family and marriage bed.

This is the core reason Rev. Moon focuses on the blessing of marriage as a way to bring society back to true love and the lineage of God.

Some elements to practice to reverse the Fall, human nature one must dedicate their union to their Heavenly Parent, practice chastity, promise to live for family and humanity.

In the case of young people, they should consult their godly parents when selecting a mate.

The mythical story of Pandora related the last entity to come out of Pandora's box was Hope, which represented the womb.

This implies that through love between spouses it would bring the ultimate answer.

Christianity has a similar message of a promise of a Redeemer to be born from a pure, faithful woman who is the reverse of the first mother who misused her womb.

To restore God's original way of entering into marriage, we can educate the next generation with the matters of love, sex and how to prepare for marriage.

Even in this modern day of technology, God's eternal Word is still relevant to save His children who make up this world.



Purity and Preparation for Marriage

Traditionally, parents on the whole guided their children along a clear, defined path to meet a mate and get married.

Centuries ago in the West, parents arranged marriages while their children were still teenagers.

Not long ago people started dating in order to select their own mate for marriage.  In either case, singles were expected to wait for sex until after they married.  These traditions have been lost by the modern world.

People no longer date in order to find a mate to marry, but simply to have fun and find temporary companionship in a lonely world.

There are no clear-cut correct guidelines or rules that help steer couples directly to the altar.

Sex has become a casual expression that is no longer connected to marriage.  Adolescents indulge in sex at an earlier and earlier age.

Parenthood is no longer tied to marriage and the widespread use of birth control and abortions have severed sex from the ideal of parenthood as well.

The West has become a 'divorce culture' where young people are less confident to marry.  Adults now advocate that they have to get through their first marriage and anticipate a second one from the onset.

There is no longer a stigma attached to having sex outside of marriage.  Couples live together in place of marriage.

There are many powerful forces that conspire against young people preserving their virginity.  Media, societal pressures to date and live together make it hard for young people to believe that they can give their bodies and souls to one person for life.

No matter how humanity tries to change the dynamics of marriage, one person for life is imprinted in the heart and conscience by the Creator.

People may rationalize that they need to have sex freely with many people, not just one partner for life.

Still, those with a sexual past will feel the pangs of guilt or heartbreak after each encounter, or they numb these innate feelings with excess in alcohol or other activities.

Reverend Moon asked an audience what is the purpose of marriage? “It is in order to realize the purpose of (human) creation.”

In the modern, fast-paced world, people think that marriage is just a piece of paper or unnecessary because the divorce rate is so high.

Nothing in the world will satisfy one's yearning to live with honor and significance, to be loved unconditionally and give their children a secure union with their spouse even if they try to live otherwise.

Even the most liberal person still may find they are hurt when their teenage daughter comes home pregnant, or their child who can't overcome the heartbreak of their parent's divorce and so on.  Because God made society to be a certain way, we suffer when we go far from His original ideal world.


Desirable and Attainable?

To return to God's Will, youth and single people need to believe again in the value of purity and marriage.

They need to be sold on the beauty of reserving sex for marriage and why it is necessary.  They also need to see that they are capable of being successful in each enterprise and that they can follow the strict practices against the social norms.

One young woman sums up her sense of this when she writes, “It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children, and to God.”

When a young person can view matrimony as desirable, then saving sex for only marriage has meaning.

They must see it as an attainable goal that they can reach even in  society of second and third marriages are celebrated.

 Many adults do not leave a good impression of marriage to the next generation: “I want to be married, but most people I know have divorced or given up on it. I don’t know how I could do better.”

Therefore, they give up their virginity and dreams of a lasting marriage in exchange for a live-in lover as the closest commitment they think they can achieve for a long time.

Young and single people need to be taught how to be responsible regarding their strong sexual desires and how achieve the life purpose of marriage.

Lessons can be gleaned from family relationships to consider when and how to meet a godly mate, basic relationship insights and skills to inner qualities.


Education for Character, Abstinence and Marriage Preparation

When young people are ignorant about the realities of love and marriage, they are more susceptible to believe the myths about chastity and their capability to have a successful marriage.

Also, when one lacks social skills, it makes lasting love that much more an unattainable goal and makes sexual temptation that more difficult to resist.

Parents, teachers and pastors need to learn the right techniques to pass on to the single people they care for and also to enhance their own marriages and relationships.

To guide young people toward marriage and teach to guard their chastity is a multi-faceted endeavor which needs contributions from the family and community.

Young people do not have any help where traditional values in developed countries left them feeling a profound void in the love department. There has been a rise in education for character, sexual abstinence and recently  marriage and relationship education.

Character education has been a rising trend in many societies.

Elementary schools and universities, religious and non-religious settings alike, focus on moral growth of students and nurture emotional and social skills.

Some methods include ethics in the classroom teaching, creating a more caring school community, learning projects and using cooperative learning techniques.

Many see character education as a influence on society which promotes better relationships, including between the sexes.

Formal education about sexuality has been a growing trend worldwide.

The focus is moreso on the physical consequences of sexual relations; the primary purpose is not in support of purity.

Abstinence education has emerged to respond to the need to promote traditional values.  The emphasis is on reserving physical intimacy for marriage only.

Over the last 40 years, science learned what makes marriages succeed and fail.

These have evolved into programs which impart knowledge and skills that are complementary to the guidance which is offered in faith and family settings.

There are judges and clergy in certain cities that will only marry a couple who have received premarital education and counseling.

In the United States, several states and cities have mandated marriage education for all high school students.

Such courses concern personal enrichment are increasingly common on campuses as well.  Better communication skills and training one how to deal with conflict is the hallmark of such programs.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: How Bad Relationships Affect Children


This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook, "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers explaining Reverend Sun Myung Moon's philosophy on sex and marriage.

The Joy of Marriage

We need marriage because it is the true way to develop our love . . . . Our entire life  should be centered on true love. We should be born in true love; we should grow in true love; we should live centered on true love, and we should return to true love when we die. The way of truelove is life for the sake of others. This is the purpose of a holy marriage.

—Hak Ja Han Moon

There was a very popular book a few decades ago called, "The Joy of Sex".  At that time, society was still phasing through the tenants of the 1960s sexual revolution, where people were still discovering different relationship styles and sex outside of marriage as acceptable.

God built marriage to help each member grow toward perfection of heart through their other-centered love.

Marriage lifts each individual spiritually and physically to the the spouse’s realm of heart.  Marriage also brings the individuals in a marriage closer to God.

In this realm, the couple has the potential to grow to resemble God’s heart and love and extend this love to the world around them.

There is no relationship outside marriage that has the potential for oneness, thus it is the one relationship that demands for surrender of the self.

Therefore, through this sacrifice, marriage promotes true love which at its base is living for the sake of the other.  As marital expert Judith Wallerstein said, “A marriage that commands loyalty . . .requires each partner to relinquish self-centeredness.“

Marshall Fightlin, a Catholic psychologist, asserts that it is the husband’s daily task to fight the impulses to act like a single man and to concern himself with his other half - his wife.

The blessings of marriage appear only when there is renunciation of the self in favor of the other.

The word ‘renunciation’ is familiar to those of any faith, because many worldly things must be renounced in order to embrace God wholly.  Marriage is part of this process.

Marriage is the renunciation of all other romantic and sexual relationships other than with the spouse.
This means that a person’s habit and attitudes that may hinder the couple’s life together must be denied.

It is a paradox that this denial of the self in favor of the other person actually enriches and enhances the self.

Through this, joy and excitement of life is increased.

Theologian Karl Barth says, “It is always in relationship to their opposite that man and woman are what they are in themselves.”

People become whole through marriage.


The God-Centered Marriage

Marriage also brings a couple closer to God.

The rabbis taught that a union of one flesh between a man and a woman is the only full representation of the image of God.

God exists in a community of three persons, so a solitary, isolated human being without a counterpart is necessarily incomplete.

Mrs. Moon says, “We marry in order to resemble God.

God is a being of dual characteristics which are completely harmonized as One. These characteristics manifest into our world as man and woman.

At the proper time, a man and woman are like a seed which will unite to become one.

Thus, a husband and wife together return to God.  Marriage resembles God because it embodies the universal attraction of yin and yang, positive and negative and masculine and feminine.

A woman represents the feminine aspects of the universe, and a man represents the masculine aspects. 

A man and woman yearn to unite.

One’s spouse is a gateway to the opposite half of the universe.  Therefore, the spouse has a value that is equivalent to half of the universe and is indispensable to intimately understanding the total nature of God.

Marriage is an important pivotal point in the journey toward God.  Mrs. Moon, Reverend Moon’s wife, states that if we take a path other than true love in marriage, then we adversely affect the path of our eternal life.

In the process of salvation, a holy marriage centered upon God and true love is instrumental.  This is why a godly marriage is the central part of Reverend and Mrs. Moon’s ministry.  Marriage is so significant both temporal and eternal.

They call a God-centered marriage, “The Blessing” which is a sacrament that symbolically cuts their satanic past and engrafts them to a bright future with God.

The Blessing is not just for the couple themselves, it is very significant to save their ancestral lineage, their descendants and the role they play in human society.

The ‘Blessing’ of marriage connects a couple to the body of humanity.

This makes the Blessing a highly responsible venture to partake.

It is a marriage that is far removed from the being solely for the couple’s pleasure and goes beyond just their children.

The Blessing echoes and takes to greater heights sentiments
about marriage such as author Jo McGowan’s:

To marry, to celebrate a love and a commitment publicly . . . is to say that the meaning of one’s life can only be found in the context of a community. It is to acknowledge one’s part in the human family, to recognize that one’s life is more than one’s own, that one’s actions affect more than oneself. It is to proclaim that marriage is more than a private affair between one woman and one man . . . . [It is] to be part of the human community, to start building the kingdom of God here on earth.




In order for marriage to play such a role in society and building the Kingdom of God, Reverend Moon holds Blessing ceremonies gathering thousands of couple.  These consists of newly married and those rededicating their marriages in front of God with a new, higher-standard devotion to God.

He believes marriage is not for oneself and spouse alone, but also for God and humanity.

Love that Partakes of Divinity

Author Antoine’s de Saint-Exupery’s ideal agrees, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.“

This is where the idea of the trinity and community within marriage become most apparent.

When husband and wife unite in a Blessed marriage, consciously centered upon God, they form a trinity. 

Through giving and receiving between God, husband and wife, the flow of love is perpetuated.

Then the couple radiates benevolence to their children, friends, acquaintances and community.

Catholicism has a similar program, “Marriage Encounter” which also sees the true love of a couple that is centered upon God as a way to salvation for the community.

Psychologist Erich Fromm authenticates this kind of love when he described that true love affects how a person relates to the world. “If I truly love one person, I love all persons, I love the world.”

One husband described such a marriage as touching the “love that includes everything and everybody, the love that’s universal . . . everything that is good about connectedness and caring for others.”

Through martial life, men and women are able to experience all the possible family relationships between them.

At times a husband may be a friend to his wife or like a brother or uncle, also a father and son.

A woman may sometimes be her husband’s sister, mother, daughter, or grandmother.

Love of husband and wife, or conjugal love, encompasses the constellation of relationship with others.  This love helps couples understand various aspects of the heart of God.

A couple’s love and oneness becomes substantially and eternally embodied in the creation of a child. 

God creates by reuniting elements of masculine and feminine into one and creating a new being from this unity.

In this way, we can say that marriage leads to a family which is a complete reflection of God in all His glory.

Marriage and family are the embodiment and full representation of the image of God.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: Most Successful Marriages Center on God

This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook, "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Sun Myung Moon's philosophy on love, and marriage.

What Does an Ideal Family Look Like?

Family is where all the efforts are brought to fruition and all of God's work is fulfilled.

 

God's ideal was purposed to manifest beginning in the family and happiness of family.  

The family is good because it is the base for all free activities based on parental love.

An ideal family is God-centered with eternal parental love; eternal conjugal love and eternal fililal love can be found.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We all must have a family base.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is composed of parents, children and their possessions.  

 

What being is able to be the manifestation of the spiritual, physical history of the Old, New and Completed Testament Ages?

Creation, the children and the parents are required in order to form a family.

This ideal does not lie in any other philosophy.

The beginning as well as the ending is in the family.

Who has been able to solve the problem of obtaining eternal happiness?

This is why it has been sought after more than ever.  Unificationism has been recognized because happiness is only attained through a systematized, universalized form taught through the teachings of the Messiah.

If everyone in the world without exception were to bow their heads and admit to the ideology of Unificationism, then unity would automatically be achieved.

When you look carefully at the sisty-six books in the Bible, you will see that it is an expression of the hope for ideal families.  Isn't that what the Bible teachings are mostly formed from, the family?

Every story was connected to a person within the context of their family.

Jesus and his mother and father, Job losing his family, Tamar, Sarah and on and on.

What do men desire?  To be married to an ideal wife.

If you find a man who says that they do not want an ideal wife, then he also cannot claim to be a man.

It is quite obvious that the desire of women since they are born is to meet ideal husbands.  No matter how great a woman is in the world, no matter whether she is a college graduate or holds a doctorate, her greatest desire would be likewise -  to meet an ideal man.

Her desire is to meet an ideal man whom she can love and can have beloved sons and daughters.  This is the root of happiness.  Since we have this doctrine deeply rooted in such a family, no one can be removed from it.

Where will the Kingdom of Heaven be first established?

'The Way of the True family' is the best term for our belief.

We advocate cosmos-centered ideology.

I need to provide a detailed explanation in order to clarify the meaning of the word "cosmos". You can view the family as a miniature nation which is grounded within a small social unit.

The family is a miniature nation, world and cosmos.


Therefore, if you abandon the family, you will not be able to do anything.  We are great in that we teach people these things about the family which were not known before.  The family is the everlasting base.  This fact cannot be changed by the father or elder brother, by any system in the world that tries to change this principle.

The most important time in anyone's life is the moment of birth, marriage and death.

We each should be born well.  In other words as we say, we should be born through the bond of heart.  Marriage, the next important moment in marriage.   We marry in order to live a full life.

We marry in order to achieve the four-position relationship of God, parents, Spouse, children.

When we will see such public laws of the universe governed established on earth, then God's will and humanity's will for world peace will be fulfilled.  The family is where we can find structure and contents required by these universal laws.

We can see that the world develps resembling the family structure.  Even if the world is in total choas, this will always remain true.

Therefore, the ideal world we envision for the future must be established based on the trinty of the family.

Since the four position relationship needs to be completed by every human being, everyone should marry and form a family.

'We must take after God.  A society that is based on human beings must take after them centering on God.

I founded the Unification Church in order to make this come true. The whole world should already have developed to such a state, but it is not the case yet. However, through such principles, the world can ultimately come to resemble human beings centered on God. 


The ideal world of peace is where the whole world is molded in the image of an ideal person.This world will transcend national and racial boundaries.\\\

The family is the horizontal foundation that is in the same form of a miniature world.

Then from the family stems the nation and the world. What is the family?  It is the objective standard to the absolute center.

What are the individuals?  They are the stepping stones which the absolute center resides.  When you view the ideal world in this way, an individual cannot be bestowed as the absolute authority to judge this world.

This authority should be bestowed on a true family. This is why you have seen a similiar example of kingdoms being ran by families.

Then knowing this, what would be the first place Satan would attack in humanity?

It would be the place of the family.

This is why families that fail to unite into one break up.  The breakdown between father and son, husband and wife, the whole family is the result of disunity.  If a person created a family and watched it break up later, he will be scarred with a wound that could not be healed for eternity.  There is no amount of consolation that would do this person any good.

We must become parents, husband, wives and siblings that are united within the family which God has yearned for.

Why is the family good?

We yearn for the family because it provides an environment where we can share love with one another freely.  This is the reason why people miss their home and their hometown because the parents and sibling live there.

When the father is pleased, the whole family is pleased.

When the child is pleased within the family, then the whole family is pleased.

The family is where the whole universe can experience joy simultaneously.

We start by gaining control of our body and mind and become a perfected individual.

Then the husband and wife need to become one in order to form a perfected family.

When the mother and father become as one, that family can develop further. 

When the children and the parents in a family become one, that family will flourish on a higher level.

What will happen if families unite with their relatives?

Many movies are made about the problems that come with in-laws, extended family are relatives. what would happen if we naturally just were able to get along with them?

Then a new spirit among the people will emerge.

When they seek to go to an even higher level, they will bring unity of the entire nation.  They will be remembered as a clan of loyal patriots.  A family of God's Kingdom does not come about through force, rather it happens naturally where there is joy.

Even when loving, one should not strive to merely receive love, because ideal love is only established when there is giving and receiving between the two.

A happy family is one where the husband comes home after work and discusses everything that happened to him during the work day with his wife and plans new areas of pioneer with her.  A happy family is one that strives continuously to discover new things.

When the parents set such an example in the family, the children will come to contribute as well.  They will gladly align themselves to make such a family.

The true family is the place where a husband sacrifices for and loves his wife as he loves his mother. On the same token, the wife sacrifices for and loves her husband as her father.

Also, they should love each other as younger sister and older brother respectively.

Heaven is where ideal families live in a world where husbands and wives love and respect each other as they would God.

such a tradition should be established on earth.

The mother and father cannot become as one without love. 

Why do you think you cherish love?

It is because you are destined to like it if you don't want to.

The greater the love the mother and the father have for one another rather than just the love they have for themselves, the more ideal it would be.

Love's bond binds the mother and father completely into one.

Metal chains rust and break after much time, but the bond of love is eternal.

Food or money will not bond the parents and children.  This will happen only through the love between the parents and children that they can bound together.

A family formed on a foundation that cannot be affected by the elements of revolution, no philosophy or ideology would be able to absorb it.

Rather, that family would control and surpass them.

A family with such a standard would be eternally unchanging, even after decades, centuries, and milleniums.  They would maintain the form of a entire race and nation.

What would be contained inside a package of love?

Once you have reached the homeland and opened the package of love, an ideal husband or ideal wife would come out.

Moreover, the package of love should contain a pouch that is filled with blessings from which an ideal family would spring forth from it.  The highest level of restoration for the world would come out of this pouch.  in this state, no one in the world would be above or below anyone.  The individual, family, tribe, race nation and world would be all at the highest level.

Therefore, brothers and sisters as well as the family itself would be restored based on the foundation of love.  In order to lay such a foundation for unity, a package of love like a treasure chest is required.

The family gives birth to the love for society, nation, and humanity

A circular motion is created once your mind and body are united centered on God and manifests in all sorts of forms and figures.  This is why the older sibling must love the younger, by following the example of their parents loving them.





A family that is united into one in love will blossom.



That love will flourish and spread to the love within the society, then the love within the nation.

In this way, it later becomes the love of the whole world.

Unfortunately, the ideal of love within the family spreading to each level has been obscured.  There has been an all and out attack on the structure of the family.

How should love be between siblings?

How should siblings love each other?  They should love one another as their father and mother loves them.  From whom should they learn to love?  They should learn from their parents.

Ideal love is realized in the family, however, God could not have true sons and daughters.

There has not been true brothers and sister or husband and wife in society before.  If we could not become true children could God become fully our True Father?  No, we are only at best His adopted children, because our bloodline belongs to Satan.

It is God's will to fulfill these things.  Love dwells only when God's will is fulfilled.  People would abandon everything they have in the world just to find their way to the place where such a heavenly love could be found.

What is true love?

It is parental love, conjugal love and filial love put together.

If people are unable to sacrifice their selfish ways for each other, then love will not be able to last a long time in the that environment and will disappear. This easily explains why marriages and families are breaking down due to humanity adapting to more selfish, individualistic way of living.

Naturally, good parents sacrifice themselves for their children.  The bond of love they have for their children will never break.  The sons and daughters who grew up receiving true love from their parents will be filial children toward them.

When the husband and wife try more and more to live sacrificially for each other, thinking in their hearts, "You have lived for my sake," their family will receive blessings from heaven.

Such families are the dwelling place that God seeks.

Who is the most valuable in the family?

The children are not the most valuable.  This sounds shocking.  Take yourself for example.  Is there anything that is more valuable than your parents?  Is authority, knowledge, honor or money more precious to you than them?  Wouldn't you give up all of these things if your parents were on their deathbed?  Of course.

The parents are of the highest value within the family.  None of these objects are more valuable than your parents.  The next in value would be your spouse and finally your children.

What is more valuable than the life of those listed above?  There is no such thing in creation that is more valuable than the unit of your family.  Then why do we value our parents, spouse and children so highly?

It is because we have a love for them that will never be severed.  Even within a relationship where there seems to be 'hate' within the family, hate is a form of love that has been misguided in the wrong direction.  You can't not hate that which you do not love.

Parental love is absolutely necessary for the children. 

For a husband and wife to stay united, conjugal love is necessary.

The sibling love between brothers and sisters, and filial piety toward parents, are also absolutely necessary in a family.

Who do you cherish and like the most in your family?

It's your parents, right?  Why do you like them the most?

It is the one relationship in your life that sustains love from the moment of birth o throughout your life.  The one you love next best would be your spouse.  If the love shared in the relationship between a husband and wife is not a conditioned love, but is unconditional, then that love becomes the best thing in a family.  Nowadays, spouses agree to love each other until the other crosses a certain boundary.  This is a conditioned love that is based on the individual's preferences.

Unconditional love brings happiness and harmony even if this love is not directly connected to the eternal love of God.  Then finally the filial love the children have for their parents.  If children can sacrifice their selfish ways for and love their parents in a bright and positive manner, they can bloom as the hope of the future.  This type of filial love will be a pure and sincere contribution to their own happiness.

A family that is in complete possession of the true parental love, true conjugal love and has true filial love would be the most ideal family in the world.

Who do you think is the center of the family?

The person who is the oldest member of the family.  That would be the great grandfather if he is still living.  He would be the center of the family.

If the other members choose to ignore him and think of him as not as immportant because he will soon pass, it is the same as ignoring the vertical (spiritual realm) world.

Even if the eldest in the family was to become senile and dependent on other, he should still be the center of that family.  This means he should be the first served at the every meal.  This is becausee the son represents the horizonatl position.

Where does unhappiness come from?

It is when the love nest is lost.  In a happy family, the children live with and attend their parents who safeguard the household.  The parents safeguard the house.

The parents represent God.  They are two strangers who represent two separate families who unite as husband and wife, bound together in love.  They abide by the heavenly principle and carry on the family line.  A family must have parents, spouse and children.  Only then can that family provide the grounds for happiness.

God's yearning for the ideal He purposed for humankind is in order to find His own happiness.  God cannot fulfill His ideal world without human beings.  Only when humankind and God form a relationship in unity, can He have a place of emotional harmony.

We feel joy when we are emotionally content in our own homes.  God wants to be able to feel the same from such a position with the world.  Even if someone was to obtain all the wealth, fame and possessions in the world, this alone does not bring happiness.

Do we not see this trend today?  There are mega stars in deep depression, suicidal and unhappy even though they seem to externally have everything.  These things may be the condition to find happiness, but they cannot be happiness itself.

What determines whether you feel happy or not?

In order to feel happy, you need to have a loving parent, a spouse, and children.  No one one earth can deny this truth.  If anyone has only fulfilled one of these conditions, he would still feel a hole, incomplete and feel sad. He would not be able to help feeling discontent proportionate to what is missing.

What do youthink God had in mind for the first human ancestors?

Could such a loving God have imagined a world of chaos for His children?  A world filled with sadness and unhappiness?

God's ideal was for man and woman to come together in union to form an ideal family that would eventually become an ideal world.

The man or woman is not the center of an ideal family.  A family is just an unit that is connected to each other by the bond of a parent to a child and a husband and wife's love. These relationships would then be centered on God's love.

Therefore, we can conclude that God's will is to perfect a family that is centering on His love.

This is an ideal family:  a place where parents, children, husband and wife, and brothers and sisters desire to unite into oneness based on true love.

From such a place the eternal global equalization begins and consequently, the God's Kingdom on earth.

This is followed by God's Kingdom in heaven coming about automatically.

As God is the original substance of true love, when one connects to true love everyone becomes part of one body.

Parents are gods living in God's stead on earth, husband and wife are mutual counterpart gods and sons and daughters are little gods.

Is there any domination or manipulations on any part within that kind of relationship?

A family is composed of three generations which is centered on true love in this manner and is the basis of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Without achieving such a foundation, the kingdom cannot be established.

The family is the center of the universe.

Family perfection is the basis for the perfection of the universe.

If there is true love within the family and a love for the universe, you can freely go anywhere.

In this case, God stands in the combined central position of love as the Parent of the whole universe.

Man's love, woman's love, son's love, daughter's love, parents' love and God's love are all included in the original ideal family foundation.

Those who love their parents, spouse and children in such an harmonized circumstance leads a heavenly life.

There is a saying to the effect, "All is well if there is harmony within the family." If peace reigns in a family everything will go well.

A family that has reached perfection in love, is a family that experience peace which forms the basis of God's Kingdom.

The driving force of a family is true love.

Loving God more than yourself and loving your spouse more than life itself is such an example of the the power of pure and beautiful love.

God did not create a force that is greater than the power of true love in the universe.

True love is God's love.

Such a family is the basis of God's Kingdom.

How else will heaven on earth begin if the individuals within a family are disunited?  Each family's driving force is true love.

A human being should be part of a parent-child relationship as well as a husband and wife and sibling relationship.

These three relationships should meet at one point.

There can only be one central point.

That means the central point of upper and lower, left and right and front and rear should be one and the same.

If any of these have a different center, then the balance of the three relationships would be broken.

For example, it is hard for even three people to come together if their each stick their their philosophies without finding a common ground.

In the end, there are seven points:  above, below, left, right, front, rear and finally the central point is formed.

The significance of fulfilling the number seven is the seven points have become as one in perfected true love, centering on God, thus achieving a perfect sphere forming a family that manifests harmony and peace.



Return for Tomorrow's Post: Thanksgiving: Gift of True Christian Spirit

This post was rewritten and derived from the textbook Cheon Seong Gyeong, Book Ten, Chapter Two, Section 1

The Love of Siblings Teaches Love of Parent

The ideal of family has changed over the last decades beginning after World War II. You can even see the change in ideals from the 'Leave to Beaver' family structure of mother cooking at home raising the children and the father as the overseer of the family. There are significant reasons why this is so.   God fought a hard battle with Satan in the second world war in order to bring about a world where He could substantially rule. Instead, after winning the battle, Satan was able to claim that foundation because there was no unity with the returning Messiah and the Christian world. In fact, he suffered greatly and was rejected by the established churches. Therefore, he had to walk his own path of 40 years of suffering to establish God's foundation on the earth. If the religious world had followed his directions given from God at that time, based on the teachings of the Divine Principle, the world of peace would have been established in that time. At that time the world of family tradition still followed the ways of God compared to the times of today where divorce, wife swapping and second/third husbands is the new trend. Now we stand on a solid foundation where God can truly come directly to do His work through the foundation of families. Why did God give us family, our brothers and sisters?   Why did He make such a unit? We need brothers and sisters so we can look at them and realize that our mother and father must have been like that when they were younger. Children can see through his brothers and sisters the process of his mother grew up. Sisters can observe elder brothers and understand how her father grew up and lived.  You should know that this is the love among siblings.  You can become one by growing up in this environment.  Should you love your brothers and sisters or not? What if parents have only one son and only one daughter? Then the son needs an elder sister and an elder brother doesn't he? The daughter needs an elder brother and an elder sister. Furthermore, they need a younger brother and young sister. Through them you come to appreciate and love who your parents are. It is unfortunate if you do not have them. What if parents have only one son and one daughter? The son needs an elder sister and an elder brother, doesn't he? Also the daughter needs an elder brother and elder sister. Furthermore, they need a younger brother and younger sister. There needs to be an elder brother, an elder sister, a younger brother, and a younger sister. It is unfortunate if you do not have them. Brotherly love is a model of love for all the people of the world. A family that has a younger sister, younger brother, elder sister and elder brother has achieved complete unity and will receive God's protection. America has moved away from the tradition of larger families and some have even forsook marriage or having children at all. The elder brother and elder sister means east and west, and the younger brother and younger sister mean north and south.  When this pattern is completed there will be three dimensions. This family becomes the origin of a clan, a people, and a nation upon expansion.  When such a principle of love takes root, the origin of peace will be established. When an elder brother loves his younger sister, and the younger sister loves her elder brother, they cannot just love one another, they must also involve their parents in that love. They can cherish their childhood experiences of growing up in the bosom of their parents. They should be a brother and sister who are connected on the basis of parent and child of oneness. Only then will they be able to ascend as they grow up. They should grow up like this all the way through elementary and middle school. However far you go in your travels around the world and throughout life, nothing will be able to replace the love of your brothers and sisters in a family who share the same blood from their birth. When you go out to society, is there anyone who is closer to you than your brother or sister? Although some people may be close, they will eventually drift away from you. Why do you need brothers and sisters? They are those who are connected to the vertical (spiritual) and horizontal (physical) plane. If Adam and Eve are horizontal, then God and Adam and Eve are vertical.  At this intersection it creates a plane. This is why both a horizontal setting and the front and back are needed. Through their unification, a sphere is formed. Therefore, when the love of brothers and sisters expand to a love for all the people of the world, then sibling love transcends family. Only when we can embrace the world and love all people with sibling love,will we join everything together in an ideal sphere of love. When this occurs, no mishap will severely shock us; all the substance of God's thought finally bear fruit. God's ideal of children unites and bears fruit there: the fruit of children's love, the fruit of siblings' love, the fruit of the love of husband and wife and the fruit of parents' love, the fruit of siblings' love, the fruit of the love of husband and wife, and the fruit of parents' love. When God's original world of creation is finally manifested on earth, upper and lower, front and rear, and left and right will be merged with Him. Through brothers and sisters, a nation arises and all humankind arises. The brother and sister relationship signifies front and back like a flat surface, but when flesh is added then a sphere is formed. So, it is brothers and sisters and the people of the nation who from this sphere. Brothers and sisters expand to become a people, and the love of brothers and sisters is connected with the love of the world. A family where there are many brothers and sisters growing up is like a model to embrace all people of the world. This family creates an ideal Kingdom of Heaven, the Kingdom of God on earth and in heaven. Hence, brothers and sisters expand in number.  When there are many siblings, two may have to share a plate at mealtime. They do not fight because there is only one plate of rice. Even if there are many siblings and they have to suffer to live in hardship, if they have such a heart of love that says, "Although I may starve, I will give this to my elder sister," or "I have to give this to my younger brother or sister," then everything will work out very well. Return for tomorrow's post: Love Nation, World, Humankind = World Peace This post was rewritten and derived from the textbook Cheon Seong Gyeong Book Three, "True Love" Chapter Two, Section 7

The Love of a True Parent

What is a true parent?

Is there a nation where there are true parents, true families leading lives fully based on God's will?  Where did this position of humanity begin?

Imagine if Eve had resisted Lucifer's advances and then later did not tempt Adam. If they decided to live in accordance to God's will and waited until they had matured to eat of the fruit, what kind of individuals would they be?

The fruit, which was the sexual organs which bear the fruit of children, was not lethal when it was fully matured, but could cause death in its immaturity.  If they had waited until God's direction, been blessed by God into a pure marriage and never left the Garden of Eden or Heaven what would have happened?

They would have become perfect individuals who would have been God's external body.   

God is like the bone and Adam and Eve like the flesh. 

Did you know God has a mind and body?

If Adam and Eve had become perfect in God's true love, God becomes the internal parent and Adam and Eve would be the external parents, who become intertwined through love.

This union of God and human beings in love would have resulted in true parents.  

Without this unity in love, there cannot be a perfect person.  The results of not becoming true parents and severing our direct ties and lineage to God, is the world which we currently live today.

Sinless true ancestor and savior of humankind

What has history, this age and the future been searching for?  True parents connected to God's direct blood lineage.

If we are unable to meet true parents, then we cannot find true happiness in the course of history or in the universe.  A happiness that is eternal, not only experienced for moments.

What kind of people are people who are True Parents?

They symbolize the hope for all fallen people.  They bring hope because they have reversed the mistakes of the Fall and carry God's true blood lineage on the earth.  They symbolize what humanity can finally become.

They are the fruit of history, the center of the age, and the starting point for the future where human beings can connect God's direct blood lineage.

True Parents govern history.

Through True Parents, we can return to the new, original world.  We can finally subjugate Satan completely and eradicate him from this earth.

True Parents conquered Satan and finally liberated God and resolved His sorrow and suffering.

We should be grateful for this amazing grace with which we live together with True Parents and attend them and honor their commands.

The hope of humankind is to meet True Parents. 

You should meet the True Parents even though you must walk the path of death to lay the foundation to do so.

You walk the same bloody path with your own sweat and tears for you and your ancestors to return to the original position before the Fall.

Even if you may lose all of history and all of your descendants, once you meet True Parents, you will regain history and the future.  True Parents are such people.

No one can follow this path of restoring themselves and history without shedding tears.  

You should shed tears for God and True Parents.

You shed tears walking this thorny path until now in order to save humankind.  Reversing every fallen element in your family's history is not an easy task.

But how can we even think about restoring the world when we cannot conquer ourselves?

The world is composed of individuals and families, thus for world restoration, this is the beginning point, ourselves.

You should understand how amazing it is that I have come to this earth with the name of the True Parent. What are the most blessed words among all the words in the world?

For fallen people, the words True Parents are the words of greatest blessing, greater than regaining a nation or the world after it has been lost. You should know that these words are more precious than anything it heaven and earth.

Reverend Sun Myung Moon



Just imagine if you were raised by True Parents, without sin how radically different your experiences in life would have been being raised under God's complete protection and dominion.

Just the simple use of the words True Parents can command history.  The same as the power of Jesus' name.

Who can count the many saints, sages and good people of history who have had to walk this path of sacrifice in order to establish this phrase on the earth?

Up until now, the world consisted of just brothers and sisters fighting one another who have lost their true parents.

Even though the world is full of leaders and presidents, we are all just children who have lost their parents to teach the true way.

The name established on earth holds hope after going through the bloody strife, struggles and screaming is the name of True Parents.  Before there are True Parents, True Children must appear.

Do you think that you have become True Children before the True Parents or God?

That which is true does not change in the past, present or in the future.

Since God has worked throughout history to restore His children back to their unfallen state, it can be seen as a history to establish the True Parents.

Children need direction on earth, wouldn't it make sense that you would need parents that have God's direction, who cannot be attacked by Satan, to set a standard by which to follow?

From the time of Cain and Abel, who God had tried to reverse the Fall through Cain's offering and humbleness to his brother, but failed through murdering him, Heaven has been fulfilling the providence to realize these True Parents.

Whoever opposes or interferes with the fundamental providence to realize this purpose will be deserted in front of the heavenly principle and eventually perish.

The Messiah is the True Man who takes a bride and become True Parents.

This is what is meant in the Bible as the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.  We are therefore, to destined to become the true children.

When the Messiah comes to the earth, even though he comes as an individual, he is not just one person.  His value is such that he is the fruit of all the religions, the fruit of all hopes of humankind and the fruit of the love desired by all humankind.

The Messiah holds the key to all of the world's problems, false love and false lineage.  He bequeaths this knowledge and blood lineage to God's children in order to restore them back to their original position.

Everything connects to this fruit: the past, present and the future are connected to him; furthermore, the individual, family, tribe, nation and world are also connected to him as well as heaven and earth.

The Messiah must carry out the role of True Parent when he comes to the earth.

This was the main purpose for Jesus coming to earth - not to leave an example of how to be a True Son and a true brother, but to leave not only God's true blood lineage but how to be a True Father, True Husband and True Parent through his true marriage.

The Messiah is the Horizontal Father and God is the vertical Father.  He is the only vertical Father. Christianity says that Jesus was God, but this is not correct in the physical sense, but yes, Jesus acquired God's qualities and power, but he was not the same entity. Jesus is not the same spirit who created earth from the beginning.

There is only one vertical (spirit) Father, Jesus was to become the horizontal(earth) father.

You should know that until the appearance of True Parents on this earth, there had been many tearful stories in the background that you cannot even imagine. I don't know how many tears I have shed without you knowing about it. Only God understands this. 


True Parents who do not have the trace of the fallen, sinful blood lineage, become the ancestors of humankind even though they are on the earth today.  Thus, you should attend True Parents just as you do your own.

True Parents come to the earth to restore human beings and make you into True Parents - little True Parents - of your own clan.  This is how the world will eventually be restored.

Where does true love begin?

True love begins from the True Parents.  Even though "husband" and "wife" are good words, there is no better words than that of True Parents.

Without the appearance of True Parents, there there is no true husband or wife that can appear in the fallen world.  We must understand this.


Why do we need True Parents?

Since the True Parents reversed the acts of the Fall by carrying God's direct blood lineage and following God's words, the connection to true love has been completed for the first time in history.

This connection to God's direct lineage and being is unprecedented in history and will not be repeated in the future.

There is only one set of True Parents, one origin.  Even though we are destined to become true parents, the first True Parents are the first ancestors of humankind and cannot be replaced.

It is the same as if they were the first Adam and Eve and those who connect to them fall in order after that.

The love that your mother and father are engaged in right now is not true love.

God's original ideal for the world is realized through the creation of True Parents.  

This is the place where we meet our lost parents, our lost true parents.

All the saints have fought to bring this foundation to earth.  There have been many junctures throughout history, but this is the most valuable one.

The Fall made human beings Satan's descendants. Therefore, we must reestablish the True Parents who are on the side of heaven and have God's descendants.

We must be fully reborn through connecting to the True Parents pure love. This is the only way that we will be recreated and become citizens of heaven on earth.

God absolutely needs the True Parents.  Many people of faith wonder why God could not just accomplish world restoration in one swipe.

Without the True Parents on earth, even the omnipotent God is unable to fulfill the providence of restoration of the world by Himself.   

Without True parents, the realm of the archangels cannot find value in their work to support the realization of God's will on earth.  You need True Parents to stand directly before God.

When you look at the history of humankind, you can see how God worked through major wars, suffering and such to lay a foundation for the sake of the world to receive the True Parents.

All the religions have been seeking such parents, the world and nations have been seeking True Parents.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: God is the God of Love This Post was rewritten and derived from the book Cheon Seon Gyeon Book Three, "True love", Chapter 2, Section 2

7 days of Holy Sex`Day 3 - Original Moral Code

“The owner of a husband’s sexual organ is his wife, and the owner of a wife’s sexual organ is her husband,” teaches Reverend Moon. "Marriage is finding the rightful master of one’s most holy place of love.”

In the previous post, we spoke about 8 points of the benefits of sex in a marriage.  These are the basics of sexual codes: An individual's sexual expression was meant to be reserved for only his or her spouse.

The only priest or priestess allowed to enter the Holy of Holies in the temple of the body is the married partner.

 The Qur’an concurs: “The believers are . . . those who guard their private parts except with their spouses”

When it comes to conjugal love, partners already have this sense of belonging to their beloved. "You own my heart,” they profess to each other.

In the Song of Solomon, the young woman says, “My beloved is mine and I am his”.

Couples promise their undying commitment, share their fortunes and futures and give all they have and what they will acquire to one another.  The greatest gift of this love is the exclusive affection and trust in an exclusive sexual relationship.  This is why it is natural for a husband and wife to claim their spouse on their beloved's love and his or her sexual expression.

Legal codes have historically recognized this expectation as “conjugal rights.

St. Paul, for example, speaks of this standard when he states, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

1 Corinthians 7:4


This means that each of us is a caretaker of our reproductive organs, attending them as a treasure for the sake of the true owner our spouse and the Creator.  This sense of entitlement or proprietorship, of course, is necessarily in the spirit of respect and care.

Again, the Bible goes on to say that, “Even so, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Spouses are to love one another even as god loves and sacrifices for each of them.  Each denying themselves  for the other and the duty to satisfy each other sexually is part of the larger promise within a marriage.  The world's major religious traditions for thousands of years have been consistent and of one accord in affirming commitment in a sexual union as the norm.


Religion Teaches Sexual Sacredness

Rev. Sun Myung Moon has used his 93 years of knowledge of the spirit world and different religions to bring about the truth of absolute, pure sex in the following speech:

All religions share the strict prohibition against sex outside of marriage, especially against infidelity within marriage. “You shall not commit adultery,” is among the Ten Commandments recognized recognized by Christians and Jews Exodus 20:14 and affirmed by Muslims Qur’an 6.151-53.

Among the ten precepts recognized by Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism is the charge of chastity.

This uncompromising norm will never change or become outdated. It is everlasting, having originated in the Creator and conforming to the very design and purpose of human creation.

Reverend Moon calls it the absolute sex standard. This is the standard “in the beginning” to which

Jesus was referring when he commented about matters of marriage Matthew 19:8.

The gold standard of sexual morality This norm is indeed latent within people’s consciences and “written on their hearts” Romans 2:15.

Common sense tells us abiding by this simple standard establishes the safety and security necessary for the greatest sexual satisfaction for both partners, and only these conditions will contain all the potential consequences of sexual union for the partners, their families and society.

Those involved with public health policy call it the “gold standard” of sexual morality, because it averts all the myriad negative health, social and other consequences of sexual behavior.



Confronting the Permissive Standard

However self-evident this original standard that links sexuality to marriage might be, reaffirming and reinvigorating this is sorely needed in contemporary times.

The developed nations remain in— and developing countries continue to fall under the thrall of—the sexual revolution that broke down traditional taboos in the 1960s.  Men and women relate in a 'low-commitment culture of ‘sex without strings, relationship without rings'.

Popular sexual morality has evolved since the blatant hedonism and promiscuity of the early days of the sexual revolution, but the basic “free sex” ideology still persists among many people of influence.

This is an outlook that sees sex apart from marriage as an act of liberation against unfair restrictions and that physical involvement is no one’s business except the partners.

Fun is considered justification enough for sexual relations; lovers should expect to be discarded when someone new comes along, and marriage and parenthood are unnecessary constraints on personal freedom.

In the aftermath of rampant unwed pregnancies, divorce, disease and heartbreak, this “free sex” philosophy of sex for pleasure has progressed to what is called the “ethic of intimacy", the belief in sex for love.

Warm feelings are now the acceptable reason for men and women to enter into a physical relationship. “Loveless” or “meaningless” sex is the only kind that might be condemned. Sexual activity itself is still regarded as morally neutral; it is its motivation that determines whether it is good or not.

Such an ethic of intimacy represents a moral advance in the many cases where sexual relations are brutally selfish and exploitative.

Yet it is a far cry from the authentic standard and remains just a variation of the older idea. Mutual consent, tolerance and a loose definition of love and intimacy easily legitimate temporary liaisons based on fickle feelings.

“We were crazy about each other,” recalls one young man. “I thought, ‘This is the one.’ We even discussed marriage. I gave my virginity to her. Well, so much for ‘undying love'. Now I don’t even know where she lives.”

Such an ethic does not protect partners from agreeing to use each other and inflict harm on one another and innocent parties beyond themselves, however this might go undetected at the time.

Whether the old free sex perspective or the newer ethic of intimacy, sexuality is regarded as a domain with its own rules, a unique impulse that cannot and must not be overly controlled. Sex is seen as a need to be addressed like that of food and sleep, and thus vital to mental and physical health. More than this, it is an entitlement, a right that cannot be denied.

In popular culture, sex is the universal gateway to joy, love, wisdom, transcendent experience, personal growth and discovery, worthy of endless participation, depiction and discussion. It has taken on mythic dimensions, like the Holy Grail or fountain of youth, and is almost an object of worship, as mentioned above.

This is a well-worn detour from the truth.

History abounds with examples of societies exalting sex out of all proportion and outside its rightful boundaries. Fertility worship in ancient Israel is a Biblical illustration.

History also testifies to the fact that whenever a society allows this to happen, destruction follows. Anthropologist Carl Zimmerman and others have discovered that the acceptance and practice of adultery and other aspects of sexual license are reliable predictors of the disintegration of a civilization.


Addressing Flawed Premises

The original sexual norm represents the enlightened and responsible standard, because it respects the realities of the heart and conscience as well as the body and harmonizes unselfish love and passion according to the human nature endowed by the Creator. The absolute sex standard confronts the flawed premises of the old “free sex” ethic: Absolute Sex Morality

The primary human motive and need is to give and receive love.

Sexual love is one dimension of this need and, while conjugal companionship and sexual intimacy are both good and healthy conditions, neither is a necessity, especially genital sexual relations. Sexual restraint is expected of any mature person.  Sexuality has intrinsic moral, spiritual, psychological and social dimensions.  Sexual love is a feature solely of the marital relationship.

It is responsible only in the context of this commitment and it is enriching only when accompanied by both love and commitment. Sexual expression is a responsibility and both a personal and public
matter.


“Free Sex” Morality

Sex is the primary human motive and need. As such, regular sexual outlets are a necessity. Too much sexual restraint is unhealthy and destructive.

Sexuality can be simply physical pleasure; it has no necessary moral, spiritual, psychological and social dimensions.  Sexual love can be a feature of any relationship; all sexual behavior is either normal or a variation.

Sex can be enriching free of love and commitment, while mutual consent and the use of birth- and disease control make it responsible. Sexual expression is an entitlement and a wholly personal matter."SMM



Return for Tomorrow's Post: 7 Days of Holy Sex Day 4: Benefits of Waiting for Marriage

This text was rewritten and derived from the Textbook: True Love, Chapter "The Meaning of Sexuality".