Qualities of True Love in Marriage

True love is virtues-based and virtues-driven and a reflection of God’s love.

True love is not selfish, but centered on others.  It is principled, serving, sacrificial and without conditions.

It is unchanging, unique, faithful, obedient and forgiving.

True love is the fuel of all good relationships.  This is even more true in marriage because it is intimate and within close quarters.

1. Other-Centered

Reverend Moon defines true love as living for the sake of others.

Living for the sake of the spouse is the overarching principle of love in marriage.

Dr. Larry Crabbe, author and marriage counselor, concluded that virtually all marital problems boil down to one being self-centered.

Dr. Scott M. Stanley, a prominent marriage researcher explains, “Love is that which will require you at some point to put aside self-interest in favor of the good of the other and the relationship.”

True love is to act for the sake of another. 

Dr. Judith Wallerstein found through her study that couples who were happy “were not envious of what they gave to the other.

They did not dole out kindness with the expectation of immediate reimbursement. They did not weigh their gifts or keep records.


“Supporting and encouraging the other was a given. They accepted this major task not only as fair but as necessary to make the marriage succeed.”


Former First Lady Nancy Reagan revealed to how she had a successful fifty years with Ronald Regan in a BBC interview with Katie Couric.

She mentioned that he was never self-centered, not egotistical and didn’t bring up himself or his stardom, or accomplishments.

Instead, it was each of their selflessness that made their marriage a joy year in and year out.

2. Serving and Sacrificial

Of course it is easy to love when the other loves you back, but it still requires maturity and strength in character to deal with the times when one the emotions are not returned.

This is called sacrifice.

It is a valuable goal when one can love when the personal benefit is not immediately felt.  Such a person hones the art of loving for the sake of the partnership.  This quality is absolutely necessary for growing in love.

Researcher Stanley said, “Love is not remotely possible without sacrifice.”

Mrs. Reagan noted in her interview that giving based on 50-50 or a ’give and take’ relationship is not a realistic option. She said that there are times when one has to give more to the other in order to carry the marriage.

This kind of sacrificial giving in a marriage is needed to develop the spirit and the realtionship through the practice of virtues

Giving to the other should not negate the self or bring about a loss of autonomy.

Nor should giving cause you to become someone’s doormat.

When one can give of themselves it means that one has a self from which to give.

A true love relationship does not exhibit dependency upon the other or codependency.  Rather it is a relationship between two people who are already developed and developing their relationship with God.

Therefore, such people are capable of sacrificing for the other without losing their identity or dignity in the process.

Through this right kind of giving, people become bigger, better and more whole.

Further, they serve and sacrifice to bring down God’s abundance of love.

Reverend Moon says, “God is creator and the originator of the two basic principles of service and sacrifice.”

When a person can sacrifice and give up themselves, he or she attracts the love and energy of God to anything, including marriage, he or she engaged in.

3. Forgiving

Forgiveness is an important part of love.



It is necessary for us to forgive as God forgives because all people fall short of one another’s needs and expectations.

It is inevitable that a spouse will hurt and neglect the other at one point in the marriage, be unable to answer the other’s needs or desires, or fail to live up to the other’s expectations.

If one is not able to forgive, the marriage becomes one full of hurts, grievances and accusations.

Forgiveness is based on the other person’s situation and difficulties and placing oneself “in the other’s shoes.”

Having the sense to forgive arises from empathy.

It may be easier for a spouse to forgive if they can see the reasons behind the other’s less-than-perfect behavior.

One who is humble about their own faults and failings which need to be forgiven as well makes spouses more prone to forgive their erring partners.

4. Unchanging

Even the most stable marriages will enter into turbulent times.  A marriage that is based solely on changeable romantic love feelings alone will not be able to have the foundation to weather the up and downs of marriage.

Every marriage experiences times when the partners need to persevere through the challenges that arise.

Only couples who have a steadfast commitment will be able to persevere when they no longer ‘feel’ like going on, when the disillusionment of marriage sets in - when conflicts are hard to resolve.




Unchanging love is the determination to remain truly loving no matter what, taking responsibility for what one puts into the marriage, good or bad, and seeking to enrich the love within the marriage by following God’s ways.








When one deserts their spouse for selfish reasons, in essence, they also desert God and the blessing and grace that becomes available through such a sacrament.

The major religions of the world condemn those who break their marital covenant.

“I hate divorce . . . do not break faith,” declares the Creator through the prophet Malachi (2.16).



Muhammad said about divorce as “the lawful thing that God hates most” (Hadith of Abu Dawud).

Jesus also said that God allowed those to divorce because their hearts were hardened but it was not part of His original plan from the beginning. Matthew 19.8

Genesis 2.24 states that, “for this reason a man will leave father and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Then he added, “What God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19.5-6).


It may be necessary for a couple to separate or divorce, but some couples plainly just give up for far simpler matter than desertion or adultery.

The vast majority of marriages can and should be saved.

Contrary to popular belief, researchers have found that unsatisfactory marriages do not poorly affect children.  The only cases where children are harshly affected was in high-conflict marriages.

Children thrive best when both their parents’ mutual presence are in their lives regardless of how dissatisfied the parents feel.

Children that were raised in high-conflict homes closely resembled children who came from broken homes.

This does not mean that such a couple should divorce for the sake of their children.  On the other hand, they should work to amicably solve their conflicts and possibly seek professional help if needed.

Couples at risk, should arrange times to discuss their problems when the children are not around or in hearing distance.

Gallagher and Waite have shown in their research that many marriages which started out unhappy later their marriages had changed after five years of sticking it out.

Some marriages that started out in conflict were much happier through their commitment.  They were rewarded with satisfactory marriages worth waiting for.

In order to have a committed marriage, it requires each individual to give to the marriage, the partner.

In today’s fast-paced society, there are many ways to find an escape in the marriage such as through the Internet, television, having a preoccupation with work or children or through other hobbies.

These are ways for people to avoid facing the difficult emotions or to avoid intimacy itself which is threatening to many people.  Finding an escape from the hard times of being married may bring only temporary joy, but will not bring long-lasting marital satisfaction.

Sometimes, a couple may not invest in the marriage out of sheer inertia.

For a couple to stay faithful, it requires for them to invest in their relationship, including sexually and save energy in order to face one another on a constant basis.

A relationship thrives when it is built on an unchanging, steadfast love that will provide an emotional safety net.

Commitment soothes relational fears and opens the way for intimacy. 

When the other partner makes a true commitment, it will soothe any fears of abandonment other partner may have.

Such a relationship will gradually make one feel secure and the partner will thrive within the marital bond.

Commitment allows for freedom—the freedom to let go and explore new horizons because the home base is secure.

In order for the couple to grow together, they need to have an unchanging devotion to one another.

Marital therapist Harville Hendrix says, “I want couples to know that, in order to obtain maximum psychological and spiritual growth, they need to stay together not for three months or three years or even three decades, but for all of their remaining years.”

Commitment is the ground that marital love needs in order to blossom.

5. Faithful

Sex is unique to the marital relationship.

Out of all the relationships one has, sex is added to the picture in marital relationships.  Therefore, faithfulness takes on a new dimension of meaning and significance.

To attain oneness, men and women need to be sexually faithful to one another. 

The sexual act causes two to become ‘one flesh’.

This establishes a bond between a man and a woman, therefore, one cannot become one with one person, then one with another, then one with another without physically tearing themselves apart psychically.

Catherine Wallace, author of For Fidelity, maintains that a deep psychological and emotional union is physically enacted in sexual intercourse.

Not only the body is involved. “We cannot split ourselves into parts,” she says. “Body and heart or soul are one.”

A person’s deep emotions and psychological being simply cannot be revealed to anyone other than the spouse.

A person’s sexuality should only be revealed to a person’s spouse because it symbolizes and embodies the intimacy of marriage.


“With my body I thee worship,” say the Anglican wedding vows, putting sexuality in marriage within a framework of worship and holiness. Indeed, Reverend Moon sees the sexual organs of husband and wife as representing the Holy of Holies in the Jewish tradition (Hebrews 9.3).

One’s marital partner is the only “high priest” or “priestess” who is qualified to come  worship in the temple of one’s body.

The sexual act is such a bonding between two people that has no place outside of holy matrimony.

Theologian Derrick Sherwin Bailey calls sexual intercourse “the psychophysical seal” of marriage.

He maintains that when sex is not under the guise of marriage, the seal is irrevocably made.  Even though the two may not have any intentions of fulfilling the other portions that require one to become one, sex bonds two people.

This ‘false’ bond with the wrong person will interfere down the road with their ability to truly become one with the person they eventually choose to share their life with.

God has stringent laws for sexual intercourse because when it is entered with anyone besides one’s lawfully wedded spouse, either before or after marriage, it results in entanglements of soul and psyche and possible interferes with having a clear, godly lineage.

Only if the marriage bed is inviolate can two vulnerable beings meet and become one. 

People long for intimacy with another and oneness, but it is only available on the foundation of deep and abiding trust.

Trust is built upon the virtues inherent in true love, other-centeredness, service, sacrifice, being able to forgive and an unchanging commitment to one another despite any circumstances.



Return for Tomorrow's Post: Redemption Through Marriage


This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook, "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Moon's philosophy on love and marriage.

Children Complete a Couple

That is such a bold statement, that a couple is incomplete without having children.  You would imagine a picket line being formed with a President making such a comment.  It is the same as saying a person is incomplete without a partner.

There is truth to these statements.

Even though one can be whole on his own, it is only to a certain level of growth.

Everything in creation is created with a partner in order to expand to a larger level of growth and living.

Why should humans think we are any different?

Parents who have raised many children see that their heart of love has grown wide, large and deep.

They can feel on their own that they cannot fight even their wicked enemies.  They stand on that foundation and live according to that broad of a law.

When a baby is born, he follows the electric current of love and automatically seeks out his mother's nipple.

He does not care how ugly or beautiful his mother is.  To witness such a sight of unmatched harmony and holiness.

Each of us are the fruit of our parents' love for one another.  We are born in love, and grow up while receiving love.

You are the visible, real fruit of what your mother and father's love is like. 

Therefore, it is natural that the parents have to love the person who is the fruit of their love.

Through this fruit, the infinite love bears fruit yet again.

This is the path where we can be connected to individual love, family love, tribal love, universal love and even the fundamental love of God.

You are a unique participant and companion in love in front of your parents.

This love makes you equal to your mother and father and you can rise to an equal position.  This is the privilege of love.

Parents want to bequeath everything they own to their sons and daughters, whom they truly love.

You can jump in and inherit a hundred percent of the universe when you have found an equal position of value of love in the tradition of love.

This is why all parents want a child of filial piety.

Children of filial piety pass on the inheritance of love as participants in the eternal love of their parents.

A baby who is born through love can do whatever he wants and you will not dislike him one bit.

Rather, no matter what, you will love your baby because he is made from your flesh and blood and is a second you, created through love.

Even when he defecates or urinates, has a runny nose, he is still cute and adorable in your eyes.

This is because these things are soaked in love.

The love between the parents and children comes from the parents.  We receive our parents' love from the moment of our birth.

After we receive the parents' love and grow up, then we receive the horizontal love between husband and wife.

In order for the love of the husband and wife to continue, they must have children and love them.

Parents can feel genuine love only when they have children.

Through only the love of brothers and sisters, we cannot learn about parents' love.

In other words, we come to know parental love when we ourselves experience the circular course through becoming parents and complete the circle.

The love string of our parents and the string of our ideals are connected to each of us. This cannot be cut off by anyone.  All of the power of the universe protects such a union.

Thus, wherever I go, my parents will follow me. My parents always want to be with me, even in the spirit world. Thus, it is a sin to dislike your parents accompanying you.


The highest value for human beings is to think of and love our parents like they are our own body and practice filial piety.

We are born from our parents' love and are engrafted to their love.

Before the connection of life and lineage are made through love, the connections are in place.

Why are each of us so precious?  Not because we have life, but because we participated together in our parents' love.  Parents have loved, but the individual is the fruit of that love.

Each of us are precious because we are born with the beginning point and the fruit.

True parents strive to continue this tradition of love.

This is the same for those in the East and the West.  All parents want to have an universal tradition of love by transcending our own tribe.

All people want and strive to bring their family into completeness and harmony so they can live a happy and peaceful life.

In this case tradition is the essence.

Only tradition can connect with the future.

Which is greater: conjugal love of husband and wife or the love between parents and children?

Westerners value the conjugal love of husband and wife as greater, but this is not so.  Love for a child is greater than the love of the spouse.

In conjugal love, the husband and wife fight because they think the other does not love them.  But parents and children fight thinking that they must love the other more, this the original heart.

The parent and child relationship is such a way because the love of parents and child is the center and vertical.  It follows the road that is close to the heavenly law.  Thus, we find that the love that serves others is closer to the genuine love.

However strong a man is, or however tough a woman may be, they will bow down to that love.

The reason parents are precious is because they give and sacrifice for the sake of their children.  So things come to be the other way around.

When parents get old, they become children.

Long before, the parents were their children's first teacher, they become seventy and eighty years old they become like children again.

At the same time, the child takes the place of the father or mother as they become elderly and unable to care for themselves.

The child should love his parents just as the parents have loved them when they raised them.  This is the principle of heaven and earth.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: Why Do We Like the Concept of Family?


This post was rewritten and derived from the book, Cheon Seong Gyeon Book Three, "True Love' Chapter 2, Section 3

Pour Your Heart Out for Others

It is said that children are a blessing.  A child is a real gift given directly from God.  

This is more so than a wife receiving her husband, or a man his wife.  Father matches couples that don't seem to make sense, but he puts them together based on knowing what the children will be like.  This couple should be grateful for their pairing and see what kind of children they will have.

When the couple first sees a child from this kind of matching, they will know he is truly a gift from God.  They will love that child more than they love the husband or wife.  This will be okay, because the couple would be mutually grateful, because their mate enabled them to be the parent of such a child.  Through this foundation, the couple can admire each other.

Mothers should breast feed their children, if it it is just for a little time.  The more children she has, it may become more difficult to keep this standard, but the basic principle is still there.

Breast feeding is the best link for a mother and child to truly relate. 

The matchings are mostly made of international and interracial couples.

It would be the most beautiful sight for God to see a black mother loving and feeding her white child at her breast.  Would it be thinkable that the father and mother in this situation would have any racial discrimination?

This is God's culture.  There is no other culture more beautiful than this one.

Through learning the contents of the Divine Principle, upon which this blog is based, you come through the narrowest gate.  This means it is the most precious and rare blessing for you in your life.

If you were to truly inherit this philosophy and way of life, then wherever you go in the world, you would be welcomed, respected, and loved.

This is a course of seven years compared to the university's four years.

In seven years, you must consummate this role.  There must be nothing you cannot bear, even if you were treated as human trash.  This is where true kingship and queenship begins.

Which would be the better dramatic movie: everyday life, or a shocking courageous and victorious story?

Walking this narrow path is most difficult, would you be able to have such conviction to fill the goal for more than three days?  Time is just like an arrow flying through the air, and it is already the middle of the year.  Would you say that you will start this work next month or next year?

This timetable must start today.  If you wait until next month, next year, tomorrow will never come.

After three years of marriage, by that time, a couple may feel that they have a big lump that they have to carry wherever they go and never be separate from it.  Would you want to go your own way, or the way God wants you to go?

Where is the ultimate settling place?

Each couple must set up their own goals and serve your home church where you witness 360 homes. In home church you can be proud of your husband or your wife. That is your territory and realm.

Home church is the place for your settlement.  You must set the home church foundation for which to work through, or there is nowhere else for you to go.

Your destination is witnessing.

When you love your home church you are consummating every order you have received from True parents, true teacher, true patriot and true saint.

If a shrine was placed up for those who accomplish their home church mission, it would definitely be a place where God wants to visit.  Through the destiny of home church you will find heaven and your permanent home.

It is almost like being given into marriage.

If you leave this responsibility unfulfilled, then that great burden will be left to your own children to complete.

In this providence, the wife will work harder than the husband works and the husband will work harder than his wife, loving home church more than they love each other.  You love home church more than anything else.  You can concentrate there to build your own kingdom and heaven on earth.

This is the new kind of evangelism where we must succeed.

You will be welcomed even if you appear to your home church without any clothes.  You will still be welcomed as their savior.

The grandparents in your home church area will be competing to have your children come to their home and take care of them.  Your baby will have 360 homes right away in which to live.

Home church people will give true blessing and honor to your children. 

They will proclaim, "We know your father and mother very well and they are true saints. We saw God through your parents."

Then your children will be embraced and loved by your people as precious children.  Your home church people will pray for blessing towards yours as well. Your children will go to the same school in the morning with the home church children.

Your children will be embraced and loved by your home church people as precious children.  They will pray for blessings to come to you as well.  Your children will attend the same schools.  If your home church people have money, they won't consider it theirs, but think how they can spend the money for the home church providence.

Three hundred and sixty homes will be one family work and they will want to spend money for that. 

In another twenty years, you will look back and see that you are assisted by many people.  This is a prime time now.


In order to walk this path, you need to be able to absorb all types of people.  If Jesus was still alive and he was in his 80s, would you tell him he could not visit your home because you don't like the elderly?  You would say that you would serve him.

If you do this, then you should do this for your own parents in the Messiah's place.  As your parents get older, you should serve them as much as you serve Jesus.  That is real love.

The base to practice this type of love is in the home church providence.  If you consistently make effort now, some power will pull people to visit you if they were passing by to another destination.

It already July; imagine if you poured out your heart to a new person each day starting in January how extraordinary things could have happened by now.  You would have almost converted 200 people.

It is not too late.

You can start today and renew your energy.  This is what Heavenly Father, your wife, or husband, your children, and all of your relatives wants.


Time is not merciful enough to slow down for you. You have to keep abreast of time because time will never relax its pace. You can finish school in four years, but with extra effort you can graduate in three or even two years. It all depends upon your own effort. 


This morning the two central words are gratitude and home church.

In this providence, there is no room for complaint.  When Father came to America, he came as a firefighter to save the people, but he was met with hostility instead.

He never complained.

He was always grateful to God instead.  Even though he was constantly persecuted, his territory is constantly growing.

His opponents thought they had succeeded in knocking him out of commission.  But they did not understand that the more they attacked, the more blessings came to him and the members.

If the government persecutes, then their blessings must go to him.  If the media attacks with false claims, then their own blessings will diminish.  It will be like scales being emptied on one side and loaded on the other side.

While receiving persecution as a daily diet, we are growing.

You must really live up to the expectations in home church and all your shortcomings will be forgiven based on this condition.  Will you promise?

Give your pledge and promise this morning by raising your hands. Let us pray.


Return for Tomorrow's post: True Love Most Valuable to God

This post was rewritten and derived from the speech Reflection Upon Life

Man and Woman Created for Each Other

Woman was born to meet man, and man was born to meet woman, right? This is the very truth. Therefore, according to this principle, we must go out in search for the realm of blessing. It is the most evil to leave this realm of the very truth.

With the current climate of freedom viewed as 'do whatever you wish just as long as you don't hurt anybody' makes it unbelievably hard to reinforce sexual mores into society and the youth.  Any traditional views will be seen as outdated or stifling of one's freedom to do whatever they want.

Why was a man created?

It was not for study, money, or power. It was for woman. For woman, man was created. The reason man's bones are made stronger than woman is not for him to earn money and live by himself. It is to support his wife and children.

The physical organs of man are different from those of woman. For who are they for? They are not created for yourselves. Man's were made for woman, so it's the woman's. Woman's is, therefore, man's. Have you ever thought this way?

Fundamentally, why was man created?  Did God create humanity so they can enjoy studying, obtaining money and power?

God created man for woman.  For woman, man was created.

The love that man likes is not his own, and the love that woman likes is also not her own. Isn't that right? 

What is the best thing in the world?  Is it having achieved success with money, career and house?  If you are all alone wouldn't you want to love or be loved by someone?

No man was born because they had the desire to be born.  Woman, which a man needs, is also not born because she desired to be born.  As we get older we realize our roles as man and woman and after growing older as a man and woman we realize that each other is a necessary being to become a husband and wife.

When we look at one man, a bachelor we see that he has to be with a woman.  When we look at one single woman, she also has to be with a man.  

What if man was born and found out there is only other men, how would he feel?  The same for women, would she be happy to be born into a world of only women?

The reason you are born as a woman is because there is a man who needs you. 

At the same time, the reason I was born as a man is because there is a woman who needs me. Isn't that so?

We were born knowing everything.

Love cannot be realized alone or from myself.  So where does it come from?  It comes from an object.
If we are born to live by the heavenly law of 'live for the sake of others' then we must humbly lower our head and live for the sake of the object.  It is precious when we realize instead of trying to receive we see the need to form this philosophy of living for others.

Love is what even God cannot realize alone. Love can always be realized through a reciprocal base. Where does love begin from? It does not begin from myself, but it grows up from a spouse.

Human beings have love. However, love does not appear when a person is alone. When man is alone, love does not appear. When a woman stands in a reciprocal position, then love appears. When a partner in a reciprocal position appears, then love appears for the first time.

God cannot realize love alone.  It can only be realized through a reciprocal base.

When we speak about parental love or conjugal love, we are definitely not talking about love that is centered on 'myself' that starts from oneself.  We are speaking about a love that begins from a partner in a reciprocal position.


Who is the master of love?

The partner who is in this reciprocal position is the master of love.

When two people of the opposite sex realize the harmony of love, a circular movement is formed.  When this couple unite with love and bear fruit, God will come down to man and man will rise toward God with them meeting at the central point.  God thus becomes the centripetal point which is able to reach out to any four directions.  With God as the central point where the harmony is realized, the life begins and mutuality starts.

The strongest power that embraces and activates everything in the universe is love.  

The providence of love which was hidden for thousands of years was revealed by Dr. Reverend Sun Myung Moon. This foundation has been trying to spread through the marriage blessing, forming the place of holy of holy of love, in order to return this world into the ideal of creation which God planned in the beginning.  We must understand that new life and a world of peace begins here in the Completed Testament Age.

Where is the central point for all physical cells and spiritual elements to become 100 percent united?

When man and woman come into puberty, the period where they are to become physically and spiritually matured, they come to the road of love where both the body and spirit completely resonate and become perfect.

What do you think the color of love would be like? Do you think that it would be black at night, white during daytime, and yellow during evenings? What do you think the color of love would be like? Therefore, if we happen to carelessly enter the place of Holy of holy of love, we would be burnt and be killed.


The Color of Love

What does the color of love look like?

In the center color of love, there is a strength that can bring peace and unity, a strength that can form a thought of equality of mankind.

Isn't this concept beautiful?  Yet the color of love in today's American society is the color of terrible death!  Instead of realizing a beautiful ideal world of creation, we are sinking into the den of death.  Women and men are supposed to keep their holy of holies for their time of blessing and then once they love one another they continue to love. However, the American public have become like villians invading the Holy of holy of love.


Americans who are not able to see marriage as a blessing from God are like patients with bad eyesight not able to see into the future.  If America continues on this destructive path, the won't be hope for tomorrow only desperation and will self destruct by God's Word and by men who have lost their humanity.


Isn't America witnessing this kind of destruction already?

Where is God's Holy of Holies?

It is the sexual organs of man and woman before the fall where love dwelt. This is the Holy of Holies of Heaven.  What is love? Love is the Holy of Holies where God can dwell.

We have already made clear that Adam and Eve who had to pass the period of adolescence without any problem, failed to do so and went off the track, which became the fall.

The only way to completely clean this Fallen world is through love.  We know that Adam and Eve fell before they had matured past the adolescence period and went off the track taking their future descendants with them.

They had an illicit love affair with the archangel Lucifer and fell.  Then Eve fell physically when she bonded sexually with Adam.  Therefore, humanity has inherited the tainted blood lineage of sin unceasingly passing it on to later generations.

Therefore, God has been carrying on this providence of restoration in order to make man cleanse their sins through indemnity.  Even in the human society when a woman gets married for the second time, there is no reason that the husband would love her if she had not yet forgotten her ex-husband.

God cannot dwell where traces of Satan remain.  To receive God's love we must first die and be re-born again.

What is the bridegroom before the bride?

He is the world-level, virtuous man.  We have heard of a virtuous woman before, we haven't heard about a virtuous man.  Jesus was the virtuous man before the whole mankind who is in the bride's position.

Jesus was the man officially recognized by heaven and earth, the history, the present and future as the man of man.

The Christians are doing this kind of a game. From a position like a beggar, Christians are saying to the prince of God, "Oh, my bridegroom, please come."

You become a robber if you try to become a bride of Jesus before becoming a virtuous woman.  If a woman was living in a cave among robbers, she would be thought of as crazy to say that her husband is the world famous celebrity or the President.  Christians have a tradition of this kind of game. From the position of beggar they say to the prince of God, "My bridegroom please come".

Christians wear rags but tell God's son to come live with them.  This has caused Jesus a deep resentment which he has to be liberated.

God also needs to be liberated.

Therefore, the whole creation could not be liberated as well.  This is the reason for the Second Coming because he was unable to fulfill the bridegroom position and instead went the way of the cross as a secondary choice of salvation for humankind.

Are we children of God allowed to love someone any way we wish or not?

Suppose a man was to call you out on the street, are you to follow him?  You should not have this kind of nature.  We should protect our physical body until the time comes and avoid letting a goblin of a man take over your heart.

Should you let your fate be taken over by such a man?

This problem is not simple.  We only have one fate in  life time and any wrong step and our life can become unstable throughout our life.  Right?

We have been emphasizing purity for women, but this same rule applies to men. Men should also keep their purity, then everything can be restored.  No matter how evil or rough this world may be, we should not be distracted and turn from the original way.

Our adolescence is a precious time when we cleanse and indemnify the purity lost by Adam and Eve during their youth.  This time should be preserved and not be ruined.

If you do not love the world, you would not be able to have a person you can love, and if you do not love God, you would not be able to have a person you can love either. 

After you have loved God, world and the people, then you can love your spouse - this is Principle.

What difference does it make to have a university-level education if a person has lost the value of love? Education only gives limited knowledge in a certain field which can only create an individualistic, materialistic person.

Korean soy bean stew can only taste delicious when served in an 'tok pe gi' which is an earthen bowl.  Just the same, when one is training the personality, it can only be fulfilled to its goal when it is done based on love.

World civilization must flower based on an artistic harmony. 

If you really know the real taste of soy bean soup, you will never be able to forget it wherever you go.
Similarly, if a man tastes the real taste of love even once, he will never be able to change.

On the other hand, if we can find love anywhere and it is easily obtained like instant foods, we would not be able to say that it is True Love.

We see people are making love like instant food.  This is the problem.  Love will not be deepened when one takes a bath in perfume;love will only be deepen, purified and last longer when a couple living on the country side take a cold bath and sleep together.

Is a couple practicing true love if they must brush their teeth in order to kiss each other?

People who have to do this in order to kiss, is it to taste the love of each other or the toothpaste?  The smell of the toothpaste will get in the way of enjoying the taste the individual body order.

In recent generations, we have seen deceitful, artificial and mathematical love spread like wild fire at such a level that it confuses our concept of what true human happiness is.  This kind of love is the main criminal leading the world to destruction.

If all mankind meets man to woman or woman to man based on the theory of reciprocal partnership, there would occur no accidents or acts violating the order of love. The order of true love would be formed when man and woman meet based on the theory of a reciprocal partnership.

When you meet the person you like or love, it is natural for two people of the opposite sex to want to hug or kiss one another.  I try to get in contact with the environment in order to love this universe.  This is a natural act of human beings in order to find a reciprocal partner.

However, if you stand in a position violating the order, ignoring and denying the environment, the ideal order of love cannot be set up.


Return for Tomorrow's Post:  Why Do We Marry?
  
This post was rewritten from the speech: The Love of True Man and Woman

How to Have the Happiest Marriage Book Part 2

Thanks for returning for these 10 tips to a very happy marriage tested and practiced by people married over 20 years.


5. We should call each other at least once a day in the daytime and always keep in touch.

The next is advice given to husbands about what their attitudes should be while they are working outside the home.  With the rush of life these days, easily a couple can spend time with coworkers more than with their spouse.

Therefore, we should take care during the day in our thinking and care about our spouse.  A husband is wrong if he doesn't call at least once to his wife at home or that she worries where he is all the time.  Husbands can talk a long time on the phone with others, but are reluctant to call their own life.  

When the husband is taking a lunch break, he shouldn't think that because his wife can take care of herself that she doesn't need to be asked if she ate lunch during lunchtime.  A husband should call his wife to see if she ate.

A wife's attitude once her husband leave for work is to visualize the hard work the husband does outside the home.  The woman should trusts that her husband is doing an admirable thing.  She should become a wife that calls the husband to check to see what he ate for lunch and how did it taste.

It is small sentimental moments as these that touch the spouses' heart, remind of one another while away and show the tender care you have as a reminder of what brought the two of you together.

The writer of the Book spoke on this point about his own marriage:

"My wife called me every morning and every evening, and it was our couple’s daily habit that we talk on the phone twice a day. Always staying in touch with each other through phone calls was tremendously helpful to us for our heart-to-heart relationship."

The technology of cell phones has developed very rapidly, and the cost of phone calls has dropped sharply, especially when using alternative lines. Consequently, no matter where the husband may be, and regardless of where the wife is, it has become possible for a married couple to freely have an intimate talk

The young people of today take for granted how cheap and conveniently easy it is to stay in touch with anyone from around the world.  This makes it easy for a couple to have intimate talk during the long hours they are away from one another.

When a couple work separately during the day, they should make a strong effort to develop a heart-to-heart relationship through talking over the phone regularly.

6. We should bow down before the picture of True Parents (Same as Jesus and Holy Spirit) , recite the Family Pledge and report (pray) to God together

This can cater to your faith.  Some faiths already have some kind of altar with a picture of the founders of their respective faiths. While facing each other and holding each other’s hands and bow (or pay some kind of respect) to each other at the end, every morning and every night.

This is best done during a new day in the morning and at the end of the day before going to sleep.  The couple bows to each other, recite the Family Pledge or equivalent of a commitment for each day such as the "Lord's Prayer", report to God what you plan to do for that day, while facing each other and holding hands, bow to the picture or equivalent to the founder of the faith.

"My wife and I liked to offer a full bow to each other lowering the head all the way down to the floor. However, if you and your wife are neither Korean nor Japanese, the couple may make a slight bow to each other while standing, and hug warmly after greeting to God and True Parents, ideally with a full bow.

My wife and I also made it a rule to hug each other and to say each other, “Let’s do our best today,” or something like that, in order to encourage each other in the morning, or “Thank you very much for your hard work for today,”to show thanks at night, after bowing to each other. It is important for us to practice the daily-life habit of expressing love and respect not only to God and True Parents, but also to our spouse."

Here is Dae Mo Nim’s(church spiritualist) advice on the importance of offering a bow and reporting (praying) to True Parents (Equivalent Jesus and Holy Spirit) every day:

"Every member has a picture of True Parents in their home. The picture conveys the meaning that True Parents, who are united with God, can come to your home and are, indeed, at your home. God and True Parents do not exist in a place far away from you. 

You must think that spiritually they are always watching your whole life. It is very important in our life of attendance that we thank God, who is the origin of true love, and True Parents who have come as the substantial embodiment of true love.

When we live in the evil world, in the realm of Satan, it is very difficult to live without the protection of God and True Parents. I recommend that you offer a bow to the picture of True Parents in the morning, saying, “I will really live with God today. I will work centering on God and True Parents, without showing any self-centeredness and arrogance.

When you come home after the day’s work, you should examine whether or not you have lived the entire day with God, saying, 'Heavenly Father and True Parents, thank you very much for allowing me to come home safely.  Thank you very much for allowing me to come home without any accident from this evil world'. You must make this kind of practice your daily-life habit. You cannot faithfully live a life of attendance if you live a life halfheartedly."

Both the husband and wife will slightly bend the fingers of both hands, extend both hands in front of each other, place each other’s right hand with the back of the hand upon the palm of his or her spouse’s left hand, combine each other’s fingertips in both hands, and lightly hold hands with their fingertips. 

Then, a couple offers a report (prayer).

Thanks to the great victory of the Second Advent, the new providential age has dawned when we can unconditionally receive the special grace of “the realm of complete freedom” from Satan’s accusation. Therefore, as the representatives of the victorious True Parents, we Blessed couples can now become God’s branch temples wherein God always dwells.

Revelation 21:3 of the New Testament prophesied the advent of “a new heaven and a new earth”: 

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will always be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes.

"We are living in the beginning of the long awaited new heaven and new earth, which billions of your ancestors in the spirit world, who have come and gone in history, have yearned for. This is the era of the kingdom of the peaceful, ideal world."

We are living in the time that was prophesied in the book of Revelations in the Bible.  God will dwell with us directly on earth.

"My wife and I personally changed the style of our couple’s reporting (praying) to the posture of facing each other with both hands extended and clasping each other. As a result, we became more deeply conscious that God does not reside in heaven far away from us outside our home, but in fact dwells within the bodies of our couple here on earth. 

As we looked at each other’s face while reporting to God, the spouse’s face sometimes appeared to be like God’s. Consequently, more and more, my wife and I came to feel that each of us was a precious reflection of God’s duality of masculinity and femininity."


7.  We  should always send off, and welcome home, our husband (wife) by holding his (her) hand, kissing, and/ or hugging at the front door when he (she) goes out for work, and returns from work.

We should practice at least one point for the seventh habit: holding his or her hand, kissing, and hugging.  You are free to practice all of the points at the same time.  When the husband returns home the wife shouldn't stay in the back room, but be able to greet her husbad who wants to hear such words at least three times.

The husband comes back home extremely exhausted and rather than hear the problems of the wife's day want to receive comfortable words from his wife and children.  If the woman habitually stays in a another room when her husband returns, daily this will deplete his love for his wife in an instant.

A wife should anticipate the return of her husband and wait for him at the entrance with the first sign of his return and be excited that he is home, "Honey, you're back, welcome home!" Any husband that comes home to a welcome home parade led by his wife and children will feel that he truly has arrived at the the Heavenly Kingdom.

Dae Mo Nim also spoke to wives about their attitudes when a husband leaves home for work in the morning. You also should not simply let your husband go to work in the morning. At least hold his hand when you see him off.

According to the wishes of almost all wives, when their husband leaves home for work, some wives want him to hug her, and other wives want him to hold his their hands or kiss her. Have you done that?

There are more husbands who have not done that than those who did. Those who say, “I have done that,” only practiced it once in a very great while. Is that true? That is not good.

A husband and wife's hands together should create the same hot feelings that is felt on a long hot day.  When a husband does this, he will come to not look at any other woman but his wife.  The other women will become invisible to his eyes.  A man should become the type of husband that can hug, kiss, and hold his wife's hands warmly.

A husband has to become a person who can give absolute love to his wife. 

Some church members are expressionless in the morning.  If we look at men in the secular world they are not ideal either.

A husband should be able to embrace their beloved wife even in the morning.

A husband who touches his wive's breast and caresses her hands in the morning will have a wife that could live off of her husband's love all day.  A wife that can consume such love can live during the day for the sake of her husband and children.  The person who lives and thrives on her husband’s love is the happy wife. 

Before a husband leaves for the day, he should hold his wife's hands, hug her tightly, touch her breast, or kiss her.  If any man acts this way toward his wife, she would be enchanted and filled with an euphoric feeling thinking, "I am the happiest woman in the world".

Would this be true or not?

This is the testimony about the author of the Divine Principle which this blog is based upon:

"Regularly there was a time for prisoners to see their wives and families. When True Mother visited True Father, they always kissed each other intimately in public. True Father also ordered Mr. Kamiyama to kiss his wife, who regularly visited him, boldly in public without hesitation.

One of the things Mr. Kamiyama learned from Reverend Moon was sent to prison was the importance of expressing affection between a husband and wife. 

In fact, watching Mr. Kamiyama’s hesitant attitude toward his wife, in prison, True Father ordered him to 'teach our members to express affection more openly between a husband and wife', after his release from the prison."

Couples should inherit this tradition and accomplish one heart, one body, one mindset, and one harmony as a husband and wife just like True Parents. Many Blessed husbands seem to be poor at expressing affection to their wives.

As the Coming of Heaven and Earth settles, we should throw away the old culture of conjugal relations in the past.  The selfish practices do not have a place while establishing the ideal world centered on God's love.

We are inheriting a new heavenly culture of true conjugal love that has been established by the True Parents which have shown us an ideal model which gives us the daily-life habits of true love in order to become supremely happy couples.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: How to Have the Happiest Marriage Book Part 3

Yoshihiko Masuda, PhD (Professor, CheongShim Graduate School of Theology

This book is in large part was rewritten from the English translation of the Japanese booklet.

CheongShim GST University Press

Based on the Speeches of True Parents and Dae Mo Nim

Published by CheongShim GST University Press

Copyright

ⓒ 2010 by Yoshihiko Masuda

All Rights Reserved

Published in the Republic of Korea by CheongShim GST University Press

How to Be a Successful Spouse

The following are notes of elder Korean disciple of the Divine Principle Mr. Jung Ro Yoon, (at the time)Vice President and Director of  New Hope East Garden.

Written by Bill Selig.

Recently, I was rummaging through my papers and came across what I consider a real gem of a talk. I found it to be especially sound advice, both useful and practical. What follows are my rough notes from an evening talk given July 2, on husband-wife relations—never an easy topic, but woefully needed and universally appreciated.


"God is the cause and we are resultant beings. Before I was born, my gender, country of birth, and parents were already determined. I had no choice in the matter. If I had been born in a royal family, then I would’ve been a prince. If I’d been born in the countryside, then I might’ve been a farmer.

My fate had already been decided to a great degree. However, gender, nationality, and parents are not the only factors deciding whether my life will be happy or not. Can we say that being born in a rich family would make us better off?

Are those born in the countryside bound to live in poverty?

No.

It may be true to say that until we are married, our life is mostly controlled by the environment and our parents, but afterwards, the quality of our lives and degree of happiness are essentially determined by our own actions.

If we have good parents, then we tend to recall our childhood as happy. Consequently, if the children are good, then the parents did their job well. The deciding factor is love. The quality of our life is greatly determined by our parents’ love. If we don’t receive proper love as children, then our hearts are not fully developed. Generally speaking, those who can give and receive love had a good childhood."


The value of the Blessing


"After the (arranged marriage) Blessing, if you feel your spouse is cold toward you and can’t receive love, then perhaps their childhood was not good. In other words, ironically, one could say that my happiness is determined by my spouse’s childhood.

"Our quality of life is determined not by money or knowledge, but the love we received during infancy."

All religions have made a great mistake. They teach that we have to perfect ourselves. The True Parents are the only ones to have declared that it is my spouse who perfects me. We need our partner in order to perfect the four Great Realms of Heart.

Who is the enlightened one?

The enlightened one realizes my spouse’s heart is more important than I am. Without my spouse, I cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. This is the crux of the Divine Principle.

Five attributes of a husband’s love are interest, responsibility, understanding, respect, and giving first. Dear brothers, it is very important that we check ourselves regularly in these areas in relationship to your wife.


(1) Pay attention.


The fact that you wake up in the morning is a miracle. Everyday should be looked upon as a gift from God. Look at each other’s eyes. If they are bloodshot, then this may indicate some medical problem. Don’t hesitate to seek professional care.

If necessary, take her to the doctor or even the hospital. We should help each other.

If your husband is ill, then the wife must bear some responsibility. After all, there must’ve been some sign or indication before the actual sickness appeared. If you don’t love your husband/wife to this degree, you cannot possibly prepare the conditions for your eternal life.

Our spouse is so precious. Check his/her eyes for health. The eyes are the window to the condition of the body, mind, and heart. If there is no love, always check the eyes.

If the husband/wife doesn’t want to look at you, then something may be wrong. It is our original mind trying to tell us something. Paying attention to our spouse’s every gesture, act, and word is a habit of love that we all need to develop. It doesn’t cost us a penny but can generate an invaluable return investment.


(2) Love means to take responsibility.


We should take responsibility for our mission/jobs. The perfection of our character comes through a life of faith. The goal of a life of faith is to perfect our character and to take responsibility for our family and job.

The worst character trait for a person is to be irresponsible. Husbands should work hard in their missions/jobs and offer everything up to Heavenly Father, but we must also take care of our families. Husbands must learn how to proportion each day so both family and mission receive your full ability, talents, and love.


(3) Love comes from understanding.


Even a small misunderstanding has the potential to separate the husband and wife. How can we increase understanding?

Dialogue and communication.

Don't chastise or judge your spouse. Instead, take time and report to each other.

At the end of the day tell each other everything. Your spouse is your best friend. Understanding entails forgiveness. This is why the messiah comes. Without forgiveness, you are not husband and wife, but just 'companions'.

Your spouse is not just a roommate. She is your personal channel to eternal life. 

If there is no forgiveness, then we may miss the possibility to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.


(4) Love comes from respect.


The critical factor is language. We must train ourselves to use beautiful words. One simple word spoken in haste or insensitivity can destroy a relationship and lead to separation and even divorce.

Words can be very powerful. If wrongly used it’s like being kicked in the stomach. Be thoughtful and charitable toward one another in word and deed.


(5) Love is giving, not receiving.


Those who only want to receive are failures. Husbands have a tendency to act as boys, always wanting to receive more love, but originally, man was to give love. If you give, then forget about it, then sooner or later, it will be returned to you many times over.

It’s now time for the test. Let’s test each other. Wives, please grade your husband: 20 points for attention, 20 points for responsibility, 20 points for understanding, 20 points for respect, and 20 points for love. 70 points are needed to pass this test."


Husband’s love


"On a more practical level, there are three categories to pay particular attention to:

(1) clothing

I suggest you buy at least four outfits per year for your wife. The marriage vow you made to your spouse’s parents was to clothe and feed their daughter.

How many shoes did your parents-in-law provide before you married their daughter? So if you’ve been married 17 years, then you should’ve bought her 68 outfits!

You must learn how to praise your wife and any new clothing. For example, "Honey, that color really suits you, in fact, it makes you look slimmer!"

 Husbands, don’t take your wife’s clothing and her appearance for granted. Compliment her. 'Sweetheart, you look beautiful today'.

(2) Food

Brothers, you should take your wife out to dinner frequently. And at the end of the day, never, never forget to ask if she had lunch. This shows that you’ve thought about her during the day and that you’re concerned about her well-being and health.

Going out to dinner gives her a break from her daily routine and makes her feel special. It also gives the two of you some quality time away from the constant demands of the children.


(3) Bedtime manners

Everyday be able to say "good night" and "good morning" with a clear conscience. Whatever differences or spats you may’ve had during the day, try to resolve everything before you go to sleep.

If you can’t say good night to her face and kiss her because of some internal friction or misunderstanding, then you have a problem that is unresolved. It should be dealt with as forthrightly and as quickly as possible, otherwise it will fester and almost certainly carry over to the next day.

Sooner or later, it will come out in another emotion.


The Blessed wife

(1) Set up order among the children and establish the family norm.

The tradition in Asia is for the wife and children to welcome the husband with a bow each night. In the West, of course, the culture is different, but wives should find some means to imitate the spirit behind that gesture.

The husband has worked hard in the job/mission and deserves to be welcomed home.

In Korea, we call the mother, "educator." The mother is the primary influence for children to learn how to walk, language, dialect, and mannerisms. Children must learn how to act properly and follow heavenly tradition.


(2) Smile

By looking at the wife’s face you can know if the family is happy with a good future or gloomy. In Seoul, there are more than 5,000 divorces per day. Wives should be diligent and do service activities for the family and, if possible, serve the community. There are many ways that the wife can be involved in community activities.


(3) Have good relations with neighbors

Praise people. Those who are successful figured out how to praise others. Are you a success or a failure?

As a personal example, I had two aunts when I was growing up. When I was only 8 years old, I made a decision not to spend time with one of them. One of my aunts would always praise me, while the other aunt always criticized me. She said my head was shaped like a potato! The other aunt said that I would grow up to be a famous military general!

The same head but with two distinct futures, so naturally I found ways to avoid the aunt who criticized me.

Learn how to praise and be positive and you will be successful and more likely to be appreciated by others.

The final judgment will come from your children. When they grow up and are old enough to receive the Blessing, the test will be if the son says he doesn’t want the Blessing for fear of receiving a wife like you, then that means you failed as a mother.

But if he says, "yes, I want to be Blessed and want a wife like you," then that means you have had a successful marriage. This is one reason why True Parents encourage children to come to Jardim and learn how valuable their parents are. The entire family should be educated together. 'The ideal family', says Father, 'is three generations (grandparents, parents, and children)'.

Let’s test the wife. 

Husband can grade using the following criteria: 30 points whether she successfully can establish order, 30 points for smiling, 30 points if she builds good community relations, and add 10 bonus points per child.


Conclusion


These are my thoughts on this topic. I hope they may be of use to you and your families. Please don’t take every word as literal truth, but understand the spirit behind it.

Some of the ideas come from my own culture and customs, and do not necessarily translate precisely, but the bottomline truth is that men and women Blessed by our True Parents are more precious than we realize, and that we have to take steps to guard and nourish our blessings. God bless you."


Return for Tomorrow's Post:

Jung Ro Yoon
July 2, 1999
Notes by Bill Selig

Good Fortune is in Finding Right Spouse

Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.  Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?  Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.  May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  

A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?  For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.  He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.

Proverbs 5 15-23


What is the definition of good fortune?  We may think it is when we obtain a great sum of money and status in society.  Good fortune does not have anything to do with eating well or living well.  Meeting a good partner well is good fortune.  The greatest blessing one can obtain is to pave a way for a relationship that follows the relationships that engulf heaven and earth and the law of the natural relationship of human beings.  There is not a greater blessing.

By this standard, are those of America following this heavenly tradition?  We seem to value not our marriages and families, but what we can show to the outside world and what material wealth we can render.

No matter how famous or prestigious a family is, if a person does not meet the right wife, then he will become miserable.  Even if one is a great athlete or have a masters and a great academic background, he will not be happy if he marries a bad wife.

I think we see this evidence many times by powerful and talented people in the entertainment industry yet, they cannot seem to get their love lives in a stable position.  Many celebrities lose years of their wealth anyway during the proceedings of a divorce, isn't this correct?  So, for someone to meet a husband or wife who is willing to follow the heavenly path and lend their family life to God will meet a great fortune.

This is the same for women as well.  A great tennis player or a woman who stands well in society, if she meets a bad husband who takes her for granted or uses her for her fame the results are the same.  Therefore, the greatest of fortunes is meeting your partner well.  This is the greatest blessing.

By meeting the right partner specifically catered to unite with you, you will have good children.


It Is Inevitable That Your Partner Is Somewhere

Therefore it is the Principle that they love each other absolutely. When they feel the taste of love, those details are no problem.

Let's visit the Garden of Eden once more.  When God created Adam as His ideal of creation, did Adam have many other humans designed with His divine nature from which to choose?  Adam did not have this chose.  god had designed Eve just for him.  Have you ever wondered if Eve was a beautiful woman or a wreck with oily hair?  Whether she was unattractive or not, Adam was to absolutely love her.  Even is she was big or too short, she was the sole, unique being created for Adam.

It is the Principle that they absolutely love one another because then these small details that normally could cause a break in love will not be a problem.

"True love fills and over-fills what is imperfect." 

You might think that Adam was handsome and Eve was beautiful, but you cannot know that. Whether a man is handsome or ugly cannot be a real problem. These days there are women who don't like to look at themselves in the mirror or take pictures because they think they are so ugly, but this is totally unnecessary.

We are talking about finding the person who is your ideal partner for lifetime.  What is the ideal when it comes to choosing a spouse?  It is the same standard as when there was only one woman and one man in the Garden of Eden.  Adam and Eve were supposed to be True Parents centered on their absolute loyalty to God.  So, were the True Parents to have roaming eyes looking around for the 'right' woman?

When lightning strikes from the sky, it does not first look where it is to land.  When plus and minus meet they will always strike.  At the moment the minus appears, they both become one.  Centering on the love of God, we each must become like this.

Do people worry that when one girl is born in the world and there are ten boys, that they say that the other nine shall die because they do not have a partner?

When a girl and boy are born in this world they do not look for a mate.  It is not right for them to look because the mate is inevitably somewhere.  It is unnecessary to give birth or to have birth control or abortions to even out the population of girls to boys.

 If there is a man, there is a woman. If there is a female, a male will be born.

All men and women of this world are in the position of the fallen Adam and fallen Eve. Fallen Adam and Eve became the son and daughter of Satan. Therefore, going into this world of Satan, the problem is how to find, win, and establish God's son and daughter.

This is fulfilled through the Divine Principle.

It is the fundamental rule of creation that when a perfect Adam exists, then the perfect Eve is restored.  Accordingly, if a perfect plus appears, the minus will automatically come into existence.  If a perfect minus appears, a perfect plus will likewise come into existence.  The universe is absolutely fair.

There is no need for population control because there is not much difference between the numbers of men and women when we look at the global level.  No matter how much the air moves around in all direction, the pressure will achieve a balance.

This is symbolic in the Bible in Genesis when it states that Eve was created out of a man, Adam.


The ideal of "I" is not what caused the fall.  When we look at the viewpoint of God's providence to restore man back to His original ideal before the fall, it is the relationship to the other, the partner that is the problem.  The fall was created when two people entered into an inappropriate relationship away from God.

They united centered on the Archangel's word to eat.  Since we are in the process of recreation, we should rebuild heaven on Earth through the will of God and not the satanic way as humanity has been charging forward since the fall.

The way to reverse the actions of the fall is to establish a correct relationship with an object or partner that is to become your companion.  Everyone wishes that their partner was better than they were, but this type of thinking is impossible when it comes to the providence of restoring the world.

Because of the fall, when we expect that our partner from the beginning of the relationship is going to be better than 'I' this is not the right kind of thinking.  To expect in this fallen world that the person will appear before us already better than ourselves is wrong.  If we desire a good partner, we should manifest this quality in ourselves by investing more effort than our partner.

It is because there has to be recreation. It is through the merit of investing myself that my partner is moved and comes to appear as an object with value. God created heaven and earth not just to see them as they are.

He created in order to love, with heart as the basis. In the same way the only thing that matters in recreation is acting with the heart as the guide. Even though Adam and Eve are small, in the world of the heart, they are not seen as small but big.

A relationship that is based on this misconception and thought of imperfect people that when we get married our partner will be better than ourselves will not be successful.  A couple like this is fake.  How can one survive in a relationship when they have the thought that to be in a relationship, their partner must be perfect?

It will not survive once the other makes a mistake.  We are fallen being s in an unideal world.  The thinking that the other must be better is not related to God.  The partner must always be in a position lower than 'I'?

Let's look at why.

Since the world is imperfect, we start from a point of recreation.  This means that a fallen being will be restored to its original position before God through investing themselves so much that their partner is moved and they themselves will invest in recreating themselves to become a partner of value.  God created heaven and earth in order to love with heart at the base.

Therefore, in order to restore the foundation of the ideal world, our actions must be guided by our heart.  Even though in the world of heart Adam and Eve may seem to have a small heart, but it is actually big.


Man And Woman Are Created In Relation To Each Other

Human beings are either man or woman. "I" am an extension of Adam and Eve who are created by God. When we say "human being," substance already exists in there. How many kinds of things are included in "human being"? Such things reside in the earth, in human beings and in God.

When we look from God's viewpoint and not fallen man, all people of creation are actually beautiful.  Therefore heaven will punish a person that makes fun the way a man looks or looks down upon a woman with big hips.  That is not looking the true way.

No matter how seemingly ugly, that man or woman is the Creator's greatest masterpiece.

It is better for a man and more handsome when he wears a mustache.  There are times when growing a beard is good when one is playing around.

The Japanese make gardens and trim them into all kinds of shapes, but Americans grow their gardens wild and natural.  Americans love natural things not artificial things. If you like the natural way which is principle, in the future they may start paying people to grow their natural beards.

God saw how Adam's beard did not make Him feel good so he created Eve without a beard but with soft smooth skin.

What is the greatest masterpiece in all of creation?

It is the woman.  Women might be excited to hear this. For whom are women masterpieces?  For men.  You cannot help that it makes you feel good.

A soft and tender woman likes a strong man. That's how it is. If there still is a woman who likes the kind of man who has skin like woman, she should be dead! And if there is a man who likes a woman who is as rough and awkward as a man, that man should be dead!

God made these masterpieces to receive a rare stimulation.  Men and women complement one another. Women are soft and tender and men are rough and tough.  Therefore, a rough strong man is best suited for a soft woman.  Think about it logically.

A man has strong hands like concrete floor.  Is this kind of texture great to hold with another strong hand?  Have you ever noticed that you are not sensitive to your own touch and you cannot tickle yourself.  What kind of stimulation would a soft woman's hand feel against a rough man's hand?

Everything in the universe is created to be in harmony. 

When looking at a motor you see the turning armature, the solid metal, but there is a stationary contact surface made of soft, flat brass.  This kind of arrangement does not wear out easily.  But if this piece was made of steel, each time the motor turned, the more deterioration  grinding with sparks.  The law of heaven and earth has all things relate in a reciprocal relationship.

Through this law, we can see that God is a professional.

Which seems to have more stimulation?  A strong man putting his hand over another strong man's hand or placing a woman's hand over his?  The natural law of the universe has the soft and the hard come into one.  If they are not, neither is complete.

"If a man's hand is over another man's hand, he should feel really bad, but if a woman's hand comes and touches him, he should feel good. If that does not happen, it means the law of the universe is not applied."

This is why it is natural for a woman's hand to be soft and a man's hand to be thick and heavy.  Men have a beard that stimulates a soft surface.  What if God placed mustaches on both men and women, what purpose does this serve?  Then, we can conclude that it is good that a man was born and look like a man and a woman born to look like a woman.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: God Loves the Wife the Most

Textbook: Blessing and Ideal Family, The Process of the Blessing (Marriage Directly Given By God)