Qualities of True Love in Marriage

True love is virtues-based and virtues-driven and a reflection of God’s love.

True love is not selfish, but centered on others.  It is principled, serving, sacrificial and without conditions.

It is unchanging, unique, faithful, obedient and forgiving.

True love is the fuel of all good relationships.  This is even more true in marriage because it is intimate and within close quarters.

1. Other-Centered

Reverend Moon defines true love as living for the sake of others.

Living for the sake of the spouse is the overarching principle of love in marriage.

Dr. Larry Crabbe, author and marriage counselor, concluded that virtually all marital problems boil down to one being self-centered.

Dr. Scott M. Stanley, a prominent marriage researcher explains, “Love is that which will require you at some point to put aside self-interest in favor of the good of the other and the relationship.”

True love is to act for the sake of another. 

Dr. Judith Wallerstein found through her study that couples who were happy “were not envious of what they gave to the other.

They did not dole out kindness with the expectation of immediate reimbursement. They did not weigh their gifts or keep records.


“Supporting and encouraging the other was a given. They accepted this major task not only as fair but as necessary to make the marriage succeed.”


Former First Lady Nancy Reagan revealed to how she had a successful fifty years with Ronald Regan in a BBC interview with Katie Couric.

She mentioned that he was never self-centered, not egotistical and didn’t bring up himself or his stardom, or accomplishments.

Instead, it was each of their selflessness that made their marriage a joy year in and year out.

2. Serving and Sacrificial

Of course it is easy to love when the other loves you back, but it still requires maturity and strength in character to deal with the times when one the emotions are not returned.

This is called sacrifice.

It is a valuable goal when one can love when the personal benefit is not immediately felt.  Such a person hones the art of loving for the sake of the partnership.  This quality is absolutely necessary for growing in love.

Researcher Stanley said, “Love is not remotely possible without sacrifice.”

Mrs. Reagan noted in her interview that giving based on 50-50 or a ’give and take’ relationship is not a realistic option. She said that there are times when one has to give more to the other in order to carry the marriage.

This kind of sacrificial giving in a marriage is needed to develop the spirit and the realtionship through the practice of virtues

Giving to the other should not negate the self or bring about a loss of autonomy.

Nor should giving cause you to become someone’s doormat.

When one can give of themselves it means that one has a self from which to give.

A true love relationship does not exhibit dependency upon the other or codependency.  Rather it is a relationship between two people who are already developed and developing their relationship with God.

Therefore, such people are capable of sacrificing for the other without losing their identity or dignity in the process.

Through this right kind of giving, people become bigger, better and more whole.

Further, they serve and sacrifice to bring down God’s abundance of love.

Reverend Moon says, “God is creator and the originator of the two basic principles of service and sacrifice.”

When a person can sacrifice and give up themselves, he or she attracts the love and energy of God to anything, including marriage, he or she engaged in.

3. Forgiving

Forgiveness is an important part of love.



It is necessary for us to forgive as God forgives because all people fall short of one another’s needs and expectations.

It is inevitable that a spouse will hurt and neglect the other at one point in the marriage, be unable to answer the other’s needs or desires, or fail to live up to the other’s expectations.

If one is not able to forgive, the marriage becomes one full of hurts, grievances and accusations.

Forgiveness is based on the other person’s situation and difficulties and placing oneself “in the other’s shoes.”

Having the sense to forgive arises from empathy.

It may be easier for a spouse to forgive if they can see the reasons behind the other’s less-than-perfect behavior.

One who is humble about their own faults and failings which need to be forgiven as well makes spouses more prone to forgive their erring partners.

4. Unchanging

Even the most stable marriages will enter into turbulent times.  A marriage that is based solely on changeable romantic love feelings alone will not be able to have the foundation to weather the up and downs of marriage.

Every marriage experiences times when the partners need to persevere through the challenges that arise.

Only couples who have a steadfast commitment will be able to persevere when they no longer ‘feel’ like going on, when the disillusionment of marriage sets in - when conflicts are hard to resolve.




Unchanging love is the determination to remain truly loving no matter what, taking responsibility for what one puts into the marriage, good or bad, and seeking to enrich the love within the marriage by following God’s ways.








When one deserts their spouse for selfish reasons, in essence, they also desert God and the blessing and grace that becomes available through such a sacrament.

The major religions of the world condemn those who break their marital covenant.

“I hate divorce . . . do not break faith,” declares the Creator through the prophet Malachi (2.16).



Muhammad said about divorce as “the lawful thing that God hates most” (Hadith of Abu Dawud).

Jesus also said that God allowed those to divorce because their hearts were hardened but it was not part of His original plan from the beginning. Matthew 19.8

Genesis 2.24 states that, “for this reason a man will leave father and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Then he added, “What God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19.5-6).


It may be necessary for a couple to separate or divorce, but some couples plainly just give up for far simpler matter than desertion or adultery.

The vast majority of marriages can and should be saved.

Contrary to popular belief, researchers have found that unsatisfactory marriages do not poorly affect children.  The only cases where children are harshly affected was in high-conflict marriages.

Children thrive best when both their parents’ mutual presence are in their lives regardless of how dissatisfied the parents feel.

Children that were raised in high-conflict homes closely resembled children who came from broken homes.

This does not mean that such a couple should divorce for the sake of their children.  On the other hand, they should work to amicably solve their conflicts and possibly seek professional help if needed.

Couples at risk, should arrange times to discuss their problems when the children are not around or in hearing distance.

Gallagher and Waite have shown in their research that many marriages which started out unhappy later their marriages had changed after five years of sticking it out.

Some marriages that started out in conflict were much happier through their commitment.  They were rewarded with satisfactory marriages worth waiting for.

In order to have a committed marriage, it requires each individual to give to the marriage, the partner.

In today’s fast-paced society, there are many ways to find an escape in the marriage such as through the Internet, television, having a preoccupation with work or children or through other hobbies.

These are ways for people to avoid facing the difficult emotions or to avoid intimacy itself which is threatening to many people.  Finding an escape from the hard times of being married may bring only temporary joy, but will not bring long-lasting marital satisfaction.

Sometimes, a couple may not invest in the marriage out of sheer inertia.

For a couple to stay faithful, it requires for them to invest in their relationship, including sexually and save energy in order to face one another on a constant basis.

A relationship thrives when it is built on an unchanging, steadfast love that will provide an emotional safety net.

Commitment soothes relational fears and opens the way for intimacy. 

When the other partner makes a true commitment, it will soothe any fears of abandonment other partner may have.

Such a relationship will gradually make one feel secure and the partner will thrive within the marital bond.

Commitment allows for freedom—the freedom to let go and explore new horizons because the home base is secure.

In order for the couple to grow together, they need to have an unchanging devotion to one another.

Marital therapist Harville Hendrix says, “I want couples to know that, in order to obtain maximum psychological and spiritual growth, they need to stay together not for three months or three years or even three decades, but for all of their remaining years.”

Commitment is the ground that marital love needs in order to blossom.

5. Faithful

Sex is unique to the marital relationship.

Out of all the relationships one has, sex is added to the picture in marital relationships.  Therefore, faithfulness takes on a new dimension of meaning and significance.

To attain oneness, men and women need to be sexually faithful to one another. 

The sexual act causes two to become ‘one flesh’.

This establishes a bond between a man and a woman, therefore, one cannot become one with one person, then one with another, then one with another without physically tearing themselves apart psychically.

Catherine Wallace, author of For Fidelity, maintains that a deep psychological and emotional union is physically enacted in sexual intercourse.

Not only the body is involved. “We cannot split ourselves into parts,” she says. “Body and heart or soul are one.”

A person’s deep emotions and psychological being simply cannot be revealed to anyone other than the spouse.

A person’s sexuality should only be revealed to a person’s spouse because it symbolizes and embodies the intimacy of marriage.


“With my body I thee worship,” say the Anglican wedding vows, putting sexuality in marriage within a framework of worship and holiness. Indeed, Reverend Moon sees the sexual organs of husband and wife as representing the Holy of Holies in the Jewish tradition (Hebrews 9.3).

One’s marital partner is the only “high priest” or “priestess” who is qualified to come  worship in the temple of one’s body.

The sexual act is such a bonding between two people that has no place outside of holy matrimony.

Theologian Derrick Sherwin Bailey calls sexual intercourse “the psychophysical seal” of marriage.

He maintains that when sex is not under the guise of marriage, the seal is irrevocably made.  Even though the two may not have any intentions of fulfilling the other portions that require one to become one, sex bonds two people.

This ‘false’ bond with the wrong person will interfere down the road with their ability to truly become one with the person they eventually choose to share their life with.

God has stringent laws for sexual intercourse because when it is entered with anyone besides one’s lawfully wedded spouse, either before or after marriage, it results in entanglements of soul and psyche and possible interferes with having a clear, godly lineage.

Only if the marriage bed is inviolate can two vulnerable beings meet and become one. 

People long for intimacy with another and oneness, but it is only available on the foundation of deep and abiding trust.

Trust is built upon the virtues inherent in true love, other-centeredness, service, sacrifice, being able to forgive and an unchanging commitment to one another despite any circumstances.



Return for Tomorrow's Post: Redemption Through Marriage


This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook, "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Moon's philosophy on love and marriage.

Whispers of Love can Cool Hatred in the World

The invisible God is precious because invisible love is precious.



Reverend Sun Myung Moon







In order to find God, we have to enter a state of complete absence of ego.



God lives deeply and quietly in the invisible world rather than in the visible world where we live.

If we were to observe the love in America, we can say it looks very hot, but it is actually lukewarm.


Americans kiss each other every morning like a fly touching the skin and then it flies away.


Traditionally, Oriental couples on the other hand stare at each other before kissing and then they both drop their head slightly due to shyness.


This is a beautiful scene that is comparable to one of the greatest masterpieces.


It is a mysterious scene when a wife carries a husband's suitcase with her loving heart to see him off before a business trip. But most American women do not even turn their heads or leave the room to see their husband's off.


This is why many Orientals who know the Western lifestyle do not want to marry an American woman.


The conversation between a loving couple is more beautiful than any poem or picture in the world.


Words have such beauty such as, “between lovers,” “between ourselves,” or “you and me”!


When God blesses human beings, He creates an environment where the couple can be happy. A couple who enters the door of such prepared blessing don't fight with one another right away.



Once they enter the door of love, they are too busy exchanging whispers such as, “I've been waiting to meet you for a long time. 

My life will bloom with the blossom of value through you. I was born to love you and waited to love you until this moment.” There is nothing sweeter than the confidential talk of love.


A loving married couple's whispers of love are more effective to cool off any fatigue and the hatred in the world.

A couple shouldn't demand love forcibly from each other.

Love is natural, so the talk of love in confidence is soft and beautiful.


Once the wife knows such a love, she is stimulated to take a nap in her husband's lap because she is so addicted to this happiness. She will not be able to control her heart.


But before the wife married her husband, the man looked creepy and scary, but her heart changes rapidly after marriage.


She will do whatever it takes to be as much with her husband as she can. For example, she will encourage him to come home to see her during his lunch break. 

 Likewise, once a man knows such a love, he also wants to sleep in his wife's lap whenever he finds leisure time. So, he rushes home during his coffee break or at lunch time.



After a couple of love marries, the man will do whatever the wife wants without hesitation - even things he formerly thought traditional were the duties of women.


How do a woman and man who meet through God as the mediator express their love?


This is the developmental process of love: love is first expressed by the mouth, second by the breasts and third through the sexual organ.


Before making love, the woman hides her mouth because of her shyness because love starts from kissing.

As love matures, sons and daughters are born as the fruit of love.

The woman's holy place of love is her sexual organ.


The husband should hold the only key to the door of his wife's love. If the husband holds two keys to the holy place, then he is Satan. A wife's holy place should only be opened by her husband. If it can be opened by any other key, then the woman is Satan.


When a husband opens his wife's holy place of love, then the most precious and valuable children will be born from there.

The children are the crystals of love.

When human beings have a child, they are able to have the same experience which God exhibited during the process of creating Adam and Eve, His first children.


Because the baby is the incarnation of both their parent's flesh and love, a baby looks cute all of the time.


It doesn't matter if the child has a runny nose, is urinating or defecating, all of these actions are soaked in love.

A couple whose relationship is based on a strong force of love, no matter what action they take, it looks joyful and lovely.



If a woman complains about her husband's body smell or the husband complains about his wife's gestures, we can tell that this is not a perfect love between this couple. Such a couple relate to one another based on what the other can gain from the relationship.


Photos courtesy of: freedigitalphotos.net 


Return for Tomorrow's Post:

This Post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook Blessing and Ideal Family Part 2.

Meet God at Time of Worship

Why do we faithfully follow the Sabbath?

Sabbath is a Saturday to some and Sunday for other people of faith.  But why do we follow the sacred bonds set thousands of years ago?

We observe the Sabbath to bring about salvation to humankind and to find thenation of God's desire.

Christianity observed the Sabbath to elevate itself and focus its efforts on magnifying the goal of salvation.

We observe the Sabbath to promote the path to our salvation.

Furthermore, it is to increase the importance of the goal for the world to be saved.  This is God's desire.


When we worship, this is where we offer God our time.  You should atone for your past before God.  This time is a time without freedom.

 

 

 

 

The time for worship blocks the advancement of all of Satan's authority.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a time where we promis Heavenly Father that we will return the glory of victory to Him.

 

This is a place that is more serious than when we meet our enemy in battle.  When we come early for church service, that value cannot be exchanged or bought with any amount of gold.  Therefore, to come late to service is stealing from God.

 

By being on time for service, you can stand before God with dignity.

 

You come closer to heaven with a heart better than that of yesterday.

 

If you come to church late, even when you pray, you will just sit there wondering what Father will talk about?

 

When you are seeking God, can you attend church without wearing holy robes? I'm not talking about external robes. I'm talking about the holy robes of your heart.

 

If inspiration wells up within your heart during the sermon or hymns, Heaven will work with you. 

 

When Adam and Eve were expelled from Heaven, they shed tears.  Therefore, you should shed tears of joy in such a way that you can meet God with a huge smile.

 

Those who have not shed tears of God's sorrow first cannot shed tears of joy.

 

You should prepare three days before worship service with an eager heart.

 

Enter the gates of the church while passionately praying for the happiness of all the people that will gather there so that they can connect to the authority of resurrection and life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You should attend service with a heart that is full of emotion for God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even if you do this, it will not be enough.

 

Be more brazen than a traveling salesmen. For Sunday service, you should purify yourself by bathing, offering a deep bow before God and visit holy ground to pray.

 

Even if people do not show up to service, you must lay the foundation of heart that enables God to look kindly at your village and work with you.

 

You will never be lonely when you pray alone with tears in front of God; God is with you, therefore, you will never be lonely.

 

If there is no one that is restored to their Godly position from that village after you have totally devoted yourself for more than three years, that place will go to ruin.

 

 You should have invested your invisible heart and devoted for two day before coming to service.  Do not come to service thoughtlessly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The more you offer yor devotion, the more you will shine.

 

For this reason, the greater your heart is, the more Heaven will protect and shield you.

 

If a wife thinks about her husband all day with her invisible mind and smiles with her invisible face, a light of glory will shine through.

 

Such a shining, smiling face will have such a captivative power that will draw her husband near.

 

In the future, messages will be reports instead of sermons.  Families will report about the things that have made them proud.  Then the entire family will offer worship.

 

The less successful families can follow and be guided by these families.

 

In this way, the Family Kingdom of Heaven will be built. This is the way to world peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If we do not build the Kingdom of Heaven within the family, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth cannot exist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First, be meticulous in your church life.

 

Be a good example by strictly attending service at the official hours for worship - be strict in keeping your promise to God.

 

Is it possible for someone who does not keep their promise to receive grace?  A person who is blessed who did not keep their covenant with God will eventually fall away from their godly path.

 

Set a good example by attending Sunday service and the official church gatherings.

 

Husbands and wives should come together with a loving heart so that their children will follow them because they envy their parents' devotion.

 

Come to church early and prepare for Sunday service.

 

 

 

 

Church service is a time for battling Satan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How can you sleep during such a showdown?

 

If you see such a person, you should shake him awake.

 

It is love to strike him on the side just like Jesus said, "Get behind me, Satan!"

 

 

 

 

"I will not allow anyone to sleep during service.  I should lock the doors after service begins. I do not want to gather and talk to people who come late. I gather people here and talk for two or three hours in order to raise them up to a certain standard. Only then can I maintain the standard of heart that I set while praying with determination before God."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it right for people who offer devotion to be late for service?  Such people should be ashamed so that they cannot show their faces and feel that they are the greatest sinners.

 

Such people should pledge to be on time and offer even greater devotion than others.

 

How can anyone pray, "Oh! Heaven most high!" if they do not even get to church on time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your devotion is not for others to observe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are offering devotion at church, then come to church on foot instead of car.

 

Do not just go to church and pray.  This is how you offer devotion: it is better to pray before coming and then come here to pray even more earnestly.

 

God does not randomly just visit anyone, therefore, you should at least absolutely be on time.

 

Heaven relates to those who earnestly yearn for God.

 

Time is of the utmost importance more than anything else when you come before God.  If you cannot be on time, you will fail.  Then, if you fail to connect at the right time, you will perish.

 

God demands a sanctified environment as well and the utmost pure heart.

 

But if you are not even on time, you will have to sit in the back and sing praises.  God does not want such praise.  You should keep the official time for services; then you will surely propser.

 

 

Return for Tomorrow's Post: What is the Purpose of Your Life? Cheon Seong Gyeong – Sun Myung Moon

Book Seven - Etiquette And Ceremonies
Chapter Three - Worship Service and Etiquette in Church Life
Section 2

Parents' Heart Resembles God

Parents, especially ones just welcoming a newborn baby, all understand the desire to receive blessings and feel happiness through their sons and daughters, whom they love dearly.

Parents who have established a correct standard where they can experience the greatest joy would want to bequeath this to their offspring for eternity.

Even fallen parents have the hopes that their children will grow up as people who can be followed and revered by all nation being praised eternally.

This is an amazing fact of heart, even after the fall separated us from God's pure lineage.

Parental Heart Wants to Give Everything

The fallen parents' heart can even be such that it seeks to protect their children from harm and have concern for them day and night.  For example, a mother ignores the diaper smells from her baby while she is nursing her child at her breast.

If fallen parents have such a heart for their child, how much more earnest must God's heart have been longing to love Adam and Eve, who were to mature and perfect their love instead creating fallen, false love?

Any parent has such a heart that when they nurse and nurture their babies and sing them lullabies and whisper to them, they wish that their future will be a success.

No matter how incompetent or lacking a parent may be, if one of their children suffers from a disability, the parents' hearts are devastated to the point of breaking.

But if the situation is turned around, then the feeling of relief and joy are overwhelming in proportion to the original pain.

If fallen parents are able to experience such a heart, how much more depth must be the heart of God?

Even if a son commits a heinous crime and is sent to prison, his parents tearfully forgive him and reach out to him.

No parent would yell out, "Serves him right!"

Isn't this parental love extraordinary?

Similarly, if a son is sentenced to execution, the mother will be totally grief-stricken and seeks anyway to save her child.

Even going so far to change the world's legal systems or risk her life in order to save her son's life.  Such an unchanging and sacrificial nature of the parental heart towards the children.

Have you known parents to keep an account of the times they love their children, saying, "Okay, we bought you shoes at K-mart and clothes a few days ago with our hard earned money.  Let's see how much you owe us."

Parents love their children so, that they treat them better than princes and princesses and still feel sorry that they cannot give even more.

Parents have such a heart that they always want to give their children better.  This is why we cherish the parents' love.

You should know this.

Parents give and yet feel that it is not enough; they love and yet feel as if there is some love they have not yet given and want to give more; and even after giving, they still feel unsatisfied with what they were able to give their children. 

This essence of parental love is then what connects us to eternal love.

This feeling of endlessly giving is the original motivation for the beginning point of love.

When you relate to children, parents want to give all of the best possessions. That parental heart reflects the heart and nature of God.

Then, what kind of being is God? God is a being who wants to give all His precious attributes to those who truly become His children.

Parents Desire to Be Surpassed by Their Children

If I were to ask those of you who are middle-aged or older, "When you were young and looking for a spouse, did you want to find someone better or worse than you?" you would all give the same answer: "Someone better". 

No matter whom you ask, in the East or West, you will hear the same response.

On the same note, in the relationship between parents and children, parents never want their children to be second-rate. 

For example, if a good-looking couple marries and has a baby who is nowhere near as good-looking as the parents, the couple still wants to hear praise about the appearance of their child. 

No matter how attractive a woman is, she will still be happy if she hears a passer-by compliment her baby with: "Wow, he's so much better-looking than his mother!" 

Even though this implies she is much less attractive than her baby, no mother would protest at hearing this and grumble, "What? Why do you think he's much more attractive than me? 

Then does this mean that I am much less attractive?" Rather, she would be unable to contain her joy. This is the maternal heart.

Whom do you think such a heart resembles? Mothers are resultant beings, not causal ones.

Any family where the son achieves less than his father will decline. 

If the father is the president of his country but his son's accomplishments fall short of his, and if this pattern were to continue for some generations, that family will gradually decline and ultimately be driven to a miserable state. 

Therefore, if a son asks his father, "Shouldn't I do better than you?" would the father reply "How dare you say that!" or "Of course, go ahead!"? Of course, he would say the latter.

When determining who to entrust with responsibility for the family, no parent would want to choose those who are inferior to them. 

Why is this so? It is because parents always hope their children will outshine them.

The same is true with respect to the nation. The rulers of a nation should wish for their successors to be greater than they are. 

Whether in the family or in the nation, the desire should always be for successors who are superior to them in every regard. This is something that is desired eternally, and that transcends the fortunes of history.

If true parental love is to perpetuate forever, someone must inherit its tradition. Since our children are clearly our successors, we must educate them to become the heirs of this tradition and enhance it onto higher levels. 

While each generation should recognize the importance of the existing tradition, they should not just inherit it, but also develop it for the future.

Such a tradition can only start in true families with parents who are constantly burning with hope that their children will surpass them.

Such parents will consistently encourage their children to succeed. 

Parents who long for the day when their children surpass them will devote their utmost efforts to prepare the best possible environment for them. 

Such parents will sacrifice everything for the sake of their children's happiness, and push them in the direction that will make the children better than their parents.

Parents are happy when their children outshine them. Thus, women who beat children who do not do as well will not have the dignity to enter heaven. 

You should be able to love your sons and daughters more than your own mother and father loved you. Moreover, when your children also think like this, a world of love will emerge naturally, and the Kingdom of Heaven will be realized.

Parental Love Is Eternally Unchanging

What is the original motivation of parental love? While conjugal love is changeable, why is parental love toward the children born of that conjugal love unchanging? 

Parental love does not originate from conjugal love.

Unchanging love does not originate from the horizontal conjugal relationship, but is surely related to the origin of a vertical subject.

Who would such a vertical subject be? He is known as God. 

Vertical love is not the kind of love that a husband and wife can enjoy as they please. In the case of vertical love, it is impossible to say that you will love, when you want to and not, when you don't want to. 

It cannot be severed. It cannot be severed by man who is in the horizontal position. Thus, the love parents have toward their children never changes.

In today's political society, which is caught in individualism, children say that their generation is different because of the new trends of the age.

They want to disassociate from the traditions of their parents and the conventional norms of society.  Yet, even though they argue about the old ways and the new ways, the parental heart does not lead them to say to their children, "You go your way, and I will go min."  

Parental love is not like that. Even animals are the same. In loving their young, they transcend their own selfish lives.

Where did parental love come from? 

If we are resultant beings of the First Cause with some relationship to Him, we have come from within some destined power of this First Cause.

This is not something we as human beings can touch. Can we just deny that God created us just because humanity does not believe He exists?

As such, have you ever heard anyone say, "Let us revolutionize the love with which parents love their children; let us become the standard-bearers of that revolution"?

Let's suppose some parents come forward with the idea of revolutionizing parental love and reinventing human history, claiming, "Even though we are parents, we will not love our children.  This is how parents will be from now on." 

Yet, the moment their baby's umbilical cord is cut, a loving heart will naturally arise in them. Every life form, whether on a higher or lower level, is created in such a way that it cannot but love its young. 

Thus, since the act of loving their children inspires parents to invest and use their lives as stepping stones, it is clear that parental love brings us closest to an eternal and unchanging standard.

When seeking an absolute standard, although parental love may not achieve this by itself, it can be a stepping stone closest to absoluteness for human beings. 

It can be the only foothold. Then looking at the history of the world. I wonder whether it has not become a permanent foothold.

Where did such parental love come from? 

It is not learned based on advice from one's father or the admonition of one's spouse; nor does it come from one's own decision to love.

It happens naturally. Love is something that comes naturally.

If we analyze the essence of love, there is no need to revolutionize love. When parents love their children, this is part of true love. 

This is why the heart with which people loved their children from the time of the first ancestors is the same heart with which we descendants several millennia later love our own children. 

Moreover, the heart with which our descendants, who come several millennia later, will love their children will also be the same.

Love is eternal. True love is something pure that does not need to be revolutionized. 

Then, what kind of love is God's love?

If God establishes certain beings in positions with an absolute standard, acknowledges their existence, and loves them, then that love needs no further drastic change.

Parental Love Sacrifices Everything

Love cannot be fulfilled alone.

Without an investment of life, love cannot be established. When considering the love in the parent-child relationship, there is a clear bond of life. 

Thus, as long as a bond of life remains, and as long as there is hope within that bond, love will surely remain.

No bond of love can be made apart from a bond of life. 

Thus, love requires an investment through a bond of life, and then the degree to which you invest your life will determine the value you feel.

For example, the parents' love for their children is not just based on their daily relationship; rather, it is a love that comes from within their bone marrow. 

Parents have a loving heart that cannot be forgotten or cut off from, no matter how you may try. This is why parents love their children until their last breath. 

As soon as parents feel they have a bond of life with their children, a heart of love naturally arises in them.

Parents do not love their children based merely on a deliberate decision because they are their children. 

Instead, parents cannot help loving their children beyond any personal intention or connection, due to the life force connecting them. Such things are felt very clearly in our family life.

What kind of being is God?

God is a being with a heart that desires to give and give endlessly, which is also why we seek Him. 

If God were just a merchant who says, "Hey, loving you costs so many dollars and cents," we would not pursue that kind of God. Why should all people love God and follow Him? Why should we like God?

It is because He gives and gives everything to all people and still feels ashamed, saying, "I can only give you this much now, but wait just a while, and I will give you a hundred and even a thousand times more."

God is not content with what He has given so far. 

God's heart seeks to give abundantly, while also promising even better things in the future. If we are with such a being, we can be happy even in a state of poverty. 

When we reach the situation wherein we are experiencing starvation, in a shocking way, we experience the stimulation of future hope within the present reality.

What this means is that through such hope we can make a new resolution.

When a mother feels sorry that she cannot give enough, if her child hugs her, saying, "Mommy!" will it just be a physical hug?

How grateful she will be! It is a chance to shed tears of mutual comfort looking to the future. 

It is not an occasion for despair but a place of explosive growth where they can take the hope of tomorrow as stimulation for the present, make a joint resolution together and encourage each other. 

Therefore, such an experience is not a miserable one.

Only within such a realm of love can we find the stimulation to look to the future and sing praise for its value within the realm of reality.

Hence, we come to the conclusion that there is no misfortune for those who live within that realm of love.

Parents want to sacrifice everything for the sake of their children. This is like God. What does this mean? 

God does not invest Himself for His own sake or need for power.

Likewise, parents want to live for the sake of others rather than for their own sake; they want to stand in the position of God, who lives for the sake of others. 

If God were to say that He only exists for Himself, this would not be true love.

Love, life, and hope are realized when parents sacrifice themselves completely for the sake of their children and are bound together with them.

Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Return for Tomorrow's Post: Siblings Unite Based on Parents Love

This post was rewritten and derived from the textbook Cheon Seong Gyeong Book Four - True Family, Chapter Eight Section 1-4

Love is Boundless Giving

Love requires one hundred percent devotion.

God invested 100 percent of Himself when He was creating the universe through His love.

God created the world for humanity, so this is why true love begins with living for the sake of others.

Many atheists believe that God is a ruler that demands to be loved.  God is not a dictator.  God gave His all for human beings, His children.

God stays close to us because He wants to live for us.  This is also why we want to follow Him eternally.

The natural law is to live for the sake of others.  If we are to maintain our existence in the world, we must live in this way.

Only when we live our life for others sake can the connection be made between East and West and between past and present.

When you are able to give and then give again for the sake of others, this places you in the same position as God Himself at the time of creation.

By putting everything you have into something, you create a second self.

This is the same as God investing all of Himself during the time of creation.

God has invested Himself in the process of restoring mankind back to their original position.  The course of restoration through indemnity is the process for each of us to recreate ourselves into children before the Fall.

So, only when we invest everything you have can recreation take place.

The idea of eternal life operates solely when one invests again and again.  You will never come to ruin if you live for the sake of others.  From giving small things, you move on to giving bigger things.

Where does this finally lead?

It comes back to you.  

We still are not satisfied after we have given love.  Instead after you give, you want to give more.  Then you feel ashamed when you are unable to.

Those who feel ashamed even after giving truly are the owners of love.

Within the realm of love, the more you give, the more we receive in return.

The more we do this, the more the power of what we gave is exceeded by the power of what comes back.  In this way, you will never perish; rather you prosper.

There is no way to be prosperous without love.

Also, love can never be exhausted.

When it is set in motion, the greater it gets.  In the laws of mechanics, anything that is in constant motion becomes exhausted in time.

But in the case of true love, the more it is in motion,  rather than being used up, the greater it becomes.

This is the essence of love: when you live for the sake of others, your love becomes greater.  But when you want people to live for you, your love diminishes little by little.

So, what is true love?

It is giving, and then forgetting about what you have given.

True love is giving and giving and then giving some more.  This is a characteristic of God.

Even if you give and give and give, the world of love lasts forever.  The word 'love' is truly mighty.

There is a Korean saying, "One well-spoken word can clear away a large debt."  What that means is that with just one word of love, you can indemnify something even if you have a debt of billions of dollars.

The only power that has the authority to govern the universe of infinite magnitude is none other than the house of love.

Love comes from living for the sake of others.  Even God, the great almighty Creator, has to bow His head to  love.

Although God is almighty, He cannot fulfill love alone.  It can only be attained through a relationship with another.

So, where does love begin?

It does not begin from oneself; it grows and develops through a relationship with a partner.

Where is the root of true love kept?

Even the all-powerful God does not keep the root of love within Himself.  Even though He is the central figure of true love, He does not want to keep love within Himself.  He wants love to take root in the person who is the object of His love.

The more love you give, the more love you have.

You will have the reserve to give more love on a larger scale.  It never ends.

Everything else has an end: money, knowledge and authority all come to an end.  Everything that is connected to human circumstances and sentiment in the world comes to an end.

On the other hand, original true love never comes to an end, no matter how much you continue to give.

Love has such an amazing quality that it continues into eternity.  You cannot fulfill love centered on yourself.  Love does not begin from oneself.  Love begins and is fulfilled through one's partner in love.  Therefore, love cannot be fulfilled without a counterpart.

Even the greatest or wealthiest person in the world cannot attain love if he is alone.  Love is only formed in the relationship between a subject partner and an object partner.

Even the omniscient all-knowing God is unable to feel any stimulation if He attempts to achieve love  just for His own sake.  This is why we need a partner, this was the purpose of creation.

Human beings are the core of the universe.

The core of human beings is life.  The root of life is love.  The root of love is God.  But this love cannot be realized by someone all alone.

God is the origin of love. 

The only beings qualified to be partners in that love with God are human beings.

The word 'love, and the word 'hope' cannot be used in reference to someone who is alone.  Even life only comes through the bond of a relationship.

Life cannot come from being on one's own.

Life and love are the two things that lasts for eternity.  Which comes first?  Life or love.  For God, love did not exist before He did.  Love came to exist after God existed.

For God, love did not exist before He did.  Love came into existence after God existed.

For God, life comes first and love comes second.  But for human beings, love comes first and life comes second.

We were created to be the object partners to God's love and to have His absolute and unique value.

He created man and woman to enter with Him into a partnership of love.  Thereby we are given the greater value than that of even the whole universe.

We are born from love, raised in love and live in love until we die in love.

It is not as if they disappear.  Since the subject of love is an eternal being, unchanging and unique, when we stand before God as the object partner, we have to have the same eternal qualities of life.

God's purpose in creating Adam and Eve was to feel joy. 

This was not the kind of joy of just looking at them or touching or speaking with them.  This joy was based on love.  He created it for the attainment of joy.

Even though God is the Absolute Being, He needs another being to be His partner in love.  God of course had the authority and power to create beings that automatically loved and obeyed Him, but God gave the power to humanity to share with Him in the creation through giving them equal value as His partner in love.

Once human beings are perfected in love as His partner in love, then He becomes the God of happiness.  He is the God who has found His ideal of joy.

God's only dream was to realize the ideal of love.  However, God does not accomplish His dream alone.  Love, happiness or joy cannot be achieved by one entity.  These cannot be realized without a partnership.

Love only manifests from your partner.

When you think your partner is ugly, you dislike him or her and want to withdraw from them.  If the partner is beautiful and good, the dynamics of love are set off that much quicker.

In other words, the workings of love are determined by the qualities of those in partnership, such as their words, beauty, fragrance, and flavor.

Since love comes from the partner, we should bow down and live for that person.  This is why the law of nature instructs us to, "Live for the sake of others."

Since this precious and valuable gift comes to us, when we receive it we should practice the philosophy of living for the sake of others.

This means we must revere, value and live for our partner and spouse.

It is not without meaning that I am vibrant and active in many fields; I do so because I have a purpose. That purpose is none other than to realize the world of love. Human beings exist with the aim of realizing and attaining love. 


Since the purpose of life is to realize true love, our value of existence is also decided by this true love.

Everyone hopes that their partner will have thousands times value or infinitely more value than they have.  In the same way, God wishes for human beings, His partners in love to have infinite value.

Once someone reaches perfection, they achieve a divine nature.

Therefore, he becomes a flawless being as the Heavenly Father and attains the same value.  This was God's original ideal for His world of creation.

What is true love?

It is a love that moves you to want to stay with your partner for a thousand years.  That makes you want to love that person forever.  With such a love like this, there is no hell.  Satan will not be able to touch you or dominate you.

Who would God place as His absolute partner in love?  None other than human beings.

One who has become one with the eternal love of the Creator must also live forever.

This is an important issue for religion.

Religions must establish a logical understanding of eternal life based on a relationship of love.  Eternal life does not lie in a man or a woman.

It does not lie in God.  You must clearly understand that eternal life is in the love of God.

If there is no subject partner in love, you feel empty and lonely.  Isn't this true?

If there is a subject partner of love, then everything feels full and you feel infinite joy.

Only when something is filled to the brim with love can everything else be filled up as well.

You can then give out love infinitely and truly.

You give love with others in order to achieve an ideal and to multiply that ideal.  The world of love transcends distance.  Love is so fast that even light is unable to follow it.  It is the fastest thing in the world.  It is also the brightest and the most perfect.

Love is the only thing that fills things up completely.  Who is closer to the center:  one who is willing to sacrifice love to sustain life, or someone who is willing to sacrifice life for the sake of love?

Which person is closer to the truth?

The one who sacrifices his life in order to attain love is the one closer to the center.  He is what is true.

The one willing to sacrifice love for life is self-centered.  Whereas the one willing to sacrifice life for love is not.

As I wandered through the five oceans and the six continents, I preached earnestly about the path of love. I have sought to shine the light of love on all people, who, living without love, are like a desert. 

If we are ultimately headed toward that other world of love, the most important thing for humanity must be the "love beacon".  That beacon of love can lead humanity to the original homeland.

Once you become one with God, a circular motion manifests in all kind of forms and figures.  This is why the older sibling in the family must love the younger following the example of their parents in loving them.

In such a family that is united into loving oneness, the love within the family will blossom.

Then that love expands to  become the love within a society, and then the love within a nation.  This love becomes the love of the whole world.

Lost within the rapture of love, God created man to live forever.  People are born from love, live in love, and finally they are harvested as the fruit of love.

When you die, you are harvested as a fruit of love. 

We have lived receiving the love of our parents and our children.

After experiencing the love of a couple, we have loved our children as their parents.  Therefore, the love of God and everything we have sown in the inner world of love is to be brought to fruition over the course of our lives.

It is said that when you die, you do not take anything with you, but this is not completely true.

When we pass onto the next world, we will reap the fruits of the kind of life we lived on earth and take them with us.

God maintains life on the foundation of true love.

His omniscience and omnipotence should be based on true love.

Only then can He stand as the ideal subject partner for humankind.  He is the subject partner that transcended all history.

If He wants to be the subject partner with only the power of life, then all things of creation will not want to unite together with Him.

Even microscopic animals and plants wish for a master of love to tend to them and take care of them.  They would like to feel the touch of loving hands.

You should not say, "I'm stronger than anyone else, so you have to listen to me."

Only when love is involved is life set in motion.  The root of life begins in love. The basis for God's continued existence is not life, but love.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: World Peace is Our Responsibility 

This post was rewritten and derived from the textbook Cheon Seong Gyeong Book, True Love Chapter 1 section 2

The Three Great Loves

Has there been anyone in history who has practiced true love focused on parents, true love focused on husband and wife, and true love focused on brothers and sisters?

True love is absolute.

We express God's love through parental love, love of husband and wife and children's love.  These three great loves make it possible for human beings to exist forever.

These great loves are able to transcend even the loftiest human view of love.

When these loves are perfected without any traces of the fall, then happiness will be perfected.  Once these loves are lacking, then misfortunes sets in.

This is why we are happy when these three loves unite.  Can a motherless person feel true happiness?  Also for the person who does not have parents, the misery is equal to the emptiness he or she feels from that loss.

God's Laws of Love Centering on the Family

Can a fatherless person feel completely happy?

A person who grew up without a father will envy those who have a father.

Happiness leaves no room for envy.

This is true for love.

How can you say you are happy if you are wishing you had something someone else has?  You cannot be happy without a father and mother.

On the same token, no matter how great a man is or how much he has accomplished, he needs a woman.  He needs a wife.

When a husband and wife have lived happily together and then the husband suddenly passes, the wife will of course shed tears.

A woman cannot live without a man, and a man cannot live without a woman.  Also, no matter how happy a husband and wife may be together, they will be miserable if they do not have children.

But what if the parents have only one son and one daughter?  A son needs an elder sister and an elder brother.  A daughter needs an elder brother and an elder sister.  Furthermore, they each need a younger brother and sister.

Everyone needs elder and younger siblings.

Without having elder and younger siblings, the individual would be unhappy.  A family where the younger brother and sister and the elder brother and sister are all united will be protected by God.

This is because this family becomes the origin of the clan, which becomes a people of a nation.

My father, mother, elder brother, elder sister, younger brother, younger sister and me total seven people. This underlies the significance of the number seven as the number of perfection. You should know that I am talking here about perfection in reference to love. 

Why does seven represent perfection?

Why is it that creation of heaven and earth taught in Christianity also was completed based on the number seven?

It is because of this.

It is said that the number three is the number of heaven and four is the number of earth.  The number three establishes the father, mother and me.

Then what does the number four represent?  The number four refers to brothers and sisters.

The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit refer to Adam, Eve with God at the center.

The Father refers to the connection of top and bottom which is the vertical relationship.  Parents' love represents heaven and earth.

Your elder brothers and sisters refer to east and west.  Your younger brothers and sisters refer to north and south.

When these unite, a three-dimensional relationship is formed. 

This is the law of love.

All laws of science adhere to these mathematical principles because of this.  From God's laws of love is where the fundamental concepts of the Principle of Creation arise.  Once such laws of love are firmly established, then peace is realized.

The Reason Three Generations Must Co-exist in the Family

I am proposing that the grandfather, grandmother, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sisters-in-law and grandchildren all live together. Living together with God, the three generations of formation, growth and completion will settle down. 

You can love God only when you know how to love your grandfather - not just your father and mother.  Actually, you will love God when you can love your grandfather more than your father and mother.

Why is the husband, parents and children indispensable?  

It is because you can only attend God when you have all the members of your family.  The Principle states that you need to have parents to have sons and daughters.  Next a married couple and then a baby.  Why is all of this necessary.  Why can't we just attend God without family?

It is only logical that we need parents, a spouse, and children in order to form a relationship with God.  You have to know this clearly.  You have to form a relationship with someone.  Sometimes we're in the center.

Sometimes I must go above the other person, and sometimes we're on the same level with each other. In other words, I must form relationships in all four directions. Even in the case of a grandson, when he relates to his grandfather with love, his grandfather will say, "Oh, good! Very good!" 

We have been working hard to build such families based on this standard that focuses original love in order to establish the original world, heaven on earth.  It is amazing that this is being taught for the first time throughout the religious world.

Why does a wife cry when her husband dies?  Why do people weep because they do not have children?

They do not cry from disappointment.  They cry from the fundamental principle of the universe that makes it necessary to have relationships in all directions: east, west, north, south.

Everything is engaged in give in take.  The force of existence in the universe supports the ideal of reciprocation, interaction of two beings.

When one of these elements are missing, that give and take cannot happen.  Just as the North Pole and the South Pole interrelate with one another.

Nothing can exist without a partner. 

Ideal beings that have become completely one with each other, are supported by this universe.  It is a principle that heavenly fortune embraces such entities so that they can continue forever.

Everything cooperates in this give-and-take action.

That is why you need sons and daughters.

Today, Westerners accept the idea that having children is not necessary, but we can wait and see who is right in that department.  You will find out in the spirit world.

From the position where you stand, there is someone both above and below you.  You need the number three; you have to go through three stages.

This is why everything is made of three stages.  You need to have parents, your couple and children.  Not having children does not agree with the Principle of Heaven or God's purpose for creating the universe.

When this is divided into two, there are three stages for men and three corresponding stages for women.

When the two are united, an ideal world of peace can then be established with the unified number three.  In other words, it is an ideal that includes grandfather and grandmother.  Father and mother and me.

The family in the Church stems from this core belief.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: We Need Brothers and Sisters

This post was rewritten and derived from True Family, Cheon Seong Gyeong Book 4, Chapter 2