"The uniqueness of true love is vividly demonstrated in family relationships."
One highly successful marriage program advises husband and wife to make individual lists of the kinds of things that make them feel loved, and then share their lists with their spouses.
A wife might list that she feels deliciously cared for when her husband makes her favorite cup of tea. The husband may feel loved from the warmth of fresh socks out of the dryer a wife has prepared for him to wear. If a spouse makes time for considerate little favors, it might not have as much of an effect on the spouse if they do not cater to their specific needs and unique character.
Parents must learn to adjust to the different needs of each of their children who are encouraged and nurtured in their own ways. Further, as the children grow, their needs grow.
A nine-year old who vies for his mother's kiss may at 10 years old think his mother is smothering him when she does it voluntarily. What used to work to satisfy the child now has turned into an offense which the parent has to adjust to the uniqueness of the growing individual.
On the same token, children live always learning how to love and relate to the unique adults who are their parents.
One father loved to wrestle with his children and was okay with the children's roughness even if they sat their whole weight on him. The children found out that when they touched his hair he would lose his temper. He had a sensitive scalp and hated for his head to be touched.
The children, like the adults, had to adjust to what their father loved.
Even though love is a principle that works and applies to everyone, it also is also tailor made for everyone. Love is tailor-made to the individual so one can feel uniquely loved.
God as a Parent is the same way. He gently guides His children through through things that speak to their individual hearts. Through music, art, literature, sports, pets, dancing-whatever a person loves, God shows His knowledge and appreciation of an individual's uniqueness by speaking to the person's heart. God uses what a person loves and in essence is saying, "I know you. I understand you. I love you for who you are."
Society's Problems Begin in Family
All problems originate in the family unit. What is the cause of juvenile problems? They stem from emotional issues. Negative results can stem from not having stable parents, brothers or sisters, and from the unsound man and woman relationship.
Where do we start to correct this destructive problem in children? We should begin in the family.
"They have parents, but the
parental heart is not implanted in the depth of the children's heart. In other
words, parental love is not deeply solidified in the bone marrow of the
children. From that point, the gap between parent and children expands."
If you grow up in an environment and acquire the feelings of hate instead of the feeling of love, you are more apt to have accidents in adulthood. One who is a virgin and waits patiently with appreciation can create a pleasant environment in her married life, but if a virgin has an angered heart, she will have an unhappy married life.
Many people curse God when it comes to their unpleasant life. But once people recognize that the environment in which they live is the environment they created among themselves they will begin to see that God has created a fair world. It is the same as the law of attraction. You create what you think.
When should parents begin to give love to their children?
As soon as children are born, parents should give 100% parental love, otherwise, children will be dominated by dissatisfaction. No one can measure love, but if a parents has a 1, 000 units of love, then they should give a 1, 000 units to their children.
If parents give 900 and hold back 100, the children will feel will feel their parents didn't give them any love at all. Children are only satisfied when their parents give their whole love. Isn't this true in all love relationships?
Children are treated no different than pets nowadays. As soon as children leave the hospital, they are placed in their own separate room in the home. Seldom does the children sleep with their parents. Mothers seldom feed their own milk to their children. This is why parents cannot feel the warmth of their parents. If babies don't sleep with their parents, they will be no different from a house pet. Children shouldn't be treated in this way.
Several babies sleeping with their parents is a beautiful scene. It is good to sleep with babies. If there's not enough space, you can make space by sleeping upside down.
Use your brain to make the arrangement. It is a little uncomfortable for a small baby to sleep between huge parents, but it feels good for everyone. Babies should feel the body warmth of parents.
God's Love For His Children
Yet, we should not forget the greatest of all parents, our Heavenly True Parent who created the universe.
Has anyone ever thought of God having the inspiration to create humanity and filling the world with pleasure for them the way a human couple feels when they are pregnant? If we are like our Father in Heaven, He must have had great anticipation in wait for His first son and daughter. He waited millions of years for our creation.
The author of the Divine Principle gives the most beautiful explanation of God preparing the world for His children:
"Like the most nurturing of parents, God prepared a nursery and a setting for His children to grow in.
The tender sparkle of the stars in the soothing depths of night, accompanied by the gentle glow of the moon—enough light to comfort and reassure without disturbing the sleep—in this and in thousands of other ways, God shows his care and devotion to the comfort and joy of His children.
The gush of incomparable sweetness in a sun-warmed apple plucked right from the tree; the kiss of a cool breeze off a verdant river on a hot day; the smells of holiday meats and spices as a person comes in from the crisp outdoors; the comfort and mystery of birdsong in the morning—earth is indeed paradise.
The intricacy and fabulousness of God’s living creation cannot be compared to even the finest, most exalted works of art in the museums of the world. God’s creation surpasses them all. And it is all for the sake of His children."
Return for Tomorrow's Post: True Parents' Heart Wants to Give Everything
Textbook: "Blessing and Ideal Family 2" and "True Love"
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