Some of you may be thinking, "God, why did you give me such a person as my fiancée? Couldn't you have picked someone better for me?" If you think your fiancée is difficult for you to love, you will become the king or queen of love if you learn to love such a person.
This is literally true. Do you think God feels you should have a different fiancée and will change you around? No. Each of you has an endless realm of love to connect with if you make a success out of your relationship. Certainly God wants to fill you with everything you need. Every bridegroom should think that his bride is more precious than royalty and cherish her as his queen, and vice versa. For thousands of years the potential of the Blessing has been coming toward you; how terrible it would be if you, knowingly or unknowingly, stopped it. Not only your ancestors but also all the things of creation will accuse you if you prevent their blessings from materializing.
Those of you who are engaged may answer that you are going toward your fiancée. But is your fiancée going forward or backward? Is he or she moving with confidence? Is he or she about to go up, or down? You may say that you never thought about the question and frankly don't care. You may suppose that when you are with your fiancée you will be satisfied. But what good does it do for two uncertain people to meet? If one confused person joins another, what will result? They will become even more puzzled.
Two confused people will collide with one another. Your eyes will clash, your ears, mouths and minds will clash. You might reason that since everyone else lives that way, you should, too. Perhaps you think that you have no other choice. But what about your family? Once you are living together, children will be born to you -- that's virtually automatic! But will your baby be able to see straight, hear straight, think straight if there are two people such as this in a marriage? Perhaps your baby's eyes will be crossed or only able to look in a certain direction. If you truly realize the position you are standing in, you feel some awe or dread. Once you are aware of it, you cannot just casually enjoy life after the marriage blessing.
You say yes, but not very convincingly. Something is holding you back. But when you analyze it further, it really is wonderful. Why? Because this is the only way the universe can have hope. This is the proper way for you to go. It is not just these few years that matter, but hundreds of thousands of generations to come will learn solid lessons from the patterns we establish right now. So think about how wonderful this is. You are laughing now and proclaiming with confidence how wonderful it is; but when you are not so sure, it is like clouds being drawn across a clear blue sky. One should be sure.
Perhaps you say you wish you could wait for five more years, so you could do something more meaningful for the world and for history. Would you choose to wait ten years rather than five? When you think how wonderful it is, are you ready to wait that long? Some of you laugh, but I would like to find out why you laugh. Is it because you think it is wonderful or for some other reason?
The couples do not do this to suffer, but through pain and frustration of sacrifice through marriage, there is hope to see a new America reborn. A new standard of marriage in America can be seen with couples like this. Waiting five years is not easy, but we have to conquer it. After observing American couples, for some odd reason, one sees a large amount of people think they have the freedom and right to get divorced. But I know that the universe does not work that way. Once you choose love, it should last forever and ever. That is the value of love. All human value rests on that.
First Love is Unforgettable
Actually, love develops better when you do things without people being aware. Sometimes you see a man and woman embracing and kissing in the street and wonder what kind of special privilege from the court of the universe they think they have. During their engagements, Reverend Moon's members are told not to kiss or even hold hands, because it could lead to something more. But if you are truly grounded in Principle and ethics, it is hypothetically possible for you to kiss without it being bad, but until the proper time, don't do it.
When you men look at your fiancée, do you naturally desire to touch her face or her body? The body is designed to be touched. Certainly a person's face is important, but the most important thing for a woman is that her spouse has a man's body and vice-versa.
The innocent, pure baby loves his mother regardless of how she looks. Even if his mother is a hunchback with only one eye, the baby wants to be with his mommy. In the same way, men and women should love each other unconditionally; don't try to evaluate each other.
The same way you loved your parents as a child -- purely and uncritically -- you should love your spouse. Are you confident you can do it?
When you give your first love it is always unconditional. Men and women are designed to experience the beauty and purity of first love and live together forever in that love. With that first love, there is no such thing as a racial or cultural barrier. Teenagers have minds of openness and sensitivity to all the joys, tragedies and beauties of life. They normally feel everything so deeply. Even when they see autumn leaves falling, they feel touched by that.
Unfortunately here in America there are not many who have preserved their first love. Most of you already have some kind of past, so what can we do? Realizing the preciousness of that first love and knowing that you have lost it for whatever reason, you should be more humble, repentant, and fervent than before. In order to compensate, be more sacrificial in loving your spouse, ready to accept him or her unconditionally. When you are humble and open to each other, you can compensate for the loss of your first love.
If your conscience was really alive, you could not say to God, "I don't have a good fiancée; he is not the kind I wanted." Your original mind should be saying, "Father, because I am so impure, I don't really deserve any person as my spouse. But since I have received this spouse as a gift from You, I will serve him/her for the rest of my life. I want to deserve this great blessing with all my heart and soul."
Those who do not have the privilege of giving your first to your spouse must be repentful and at the same time most appreciative to God and willing to compensate. In this way you can restore your love and reach the same degree of Heaven.
Reverend Moon continues to tell how he brings two couples together who can achieve a greater love once they unite centered upon God:
"I will give you my matching secret: I do not match you primarily as husband and wife but I see through you to your beautiful children of the future. Is that against the Principle or according to Principle? No matter what, the Principle persists here in America.
"To make a long story short, let's say your fiancée turned out to be a large, broad woman, and you immediately thought of her as undesirable. But suppose she (or he) has an incredibly warm and wide heart of pure love. Then what would you say?
"On the other hand, many women with beautiful faces possess only a flat, shallow love. Through my research I have learned that the love of an ugly woman is very round and possesses great depth and nobility. It's easy to stand on flat love, while spherical love is harder to balance on, but which kind of love would you prefer in your mate?
"Certainly, spherical love is better. So if you think your fiancée is more attractive than you, you are most likely getting flat love. But if he or she is uglier than you, you are most likely getting spherical love. This rule of thumb applies to both men and women. When you learn to love a fiancée whom you previously disliked intensely, you will give birth to the greatest of children.
"No matter how ugly your fiancée may be, still he or she is the supreme form of creation and therefore more special than anything else in nature. He or she is the crowning glory of God's masterpiece of creation. You may call upon the things of creation to sing a song for you and they would be unable to comply, but your fiancée should. So unless you are able to love nature, you cannot love other people."
What is the secret of being able to match hundreds of couples from around the world? Simply having a loving heart. Love is everything; love has knowledge and power; love can penetrate and understand everything; love endows one with a vision of the future.
Reverend Moon talks to couples who he matched then married them. They are ungrateful about their spouse even though they had previous relationships outside of God's realm:
"Because I can match with such a heart I am the world's greatest matchmaker. Aren't you glad of that? I have two different reputations. Some people say that I am an excellent matchmaker and others call me a bad one. Those who call me a bad matchmaker simply don't know the facts. After you have lived together for three years, you will discover why I matched you and your spouse, and you will come back and report to me!
"Some of you have already concluded that you cannot accept your match, even though you have never lived together or even gotten to know each other. You have even asked me for new matches, but I have said that is ridiculous, since you don't even know each other. Sometimes I have counseled engaged couples who have come to see me at East Garden. "Did you know that your fiancée had this or that characteristic?" I ask them. Both have been completely surprised, because they haven't gotten to know each other at all. They knew far less about each other than I knew about them.
"In some cases I matched a very sensitive woman to a dull, insensitive man. If she can love that man, her love lungs will really develop. When a sensitive woman can make a dense man become sensitive, she becomes a master genius! Actually, the all-knowing God created only 95 percent of our being, and He asks
"I am an expert on human beings, in a way, because I have dealt with so many different people throughout my life. Many people have betrayed me, and many have been completely loyal; some have exploited me. All kinds of people have come and gone, and I have studied and researched every one of them. My mind is very analytical, and I never let any experience pass by without observing it closely and learning from it. I have considered millions of situations and human variables. So I have millions of mental "index cards" that I can pull out and refer to when I match people. I can see that someone with one kind of nature will need a spouse with a particular characteristic. That is how I match couples."
Through this type of marriage, once a couple stretches their love muscles to become one after three years of struggle, they can overcome their past mistakes in relationships and have a love that goes beyond any relationship they ever had, even their first love.
Marriage is a journey that men and women begin together. Where will it end? Can you imagine living for 10,000 years? Compared to eternity, that is just the beginning. Some people realize that. Others think, "Boy, one month is eternity! I can't even stand to look at my wife."
Marriage is like exploring a gold mine. In one month or one year you can barely find one seam of gold. There may be all kinds of foreign elements in it, so unless you dig deeper down, you won't know what's there. That is the adventure of married life.
There are two different kinds of appearance. A Broadway stage can look like a golden palace, but there is nothing behind the facade. On the other hand, a simple mountain may look plain, but when you dig into it you discover limitless resources inside. I always ask whether genuineness can be more frequently found in an attractive person or a homely one. You greedy guys always think you can be genuine and handsome too! Actually, there are always exceptions, so you can be the exception! But generally the unchanging qualities are more often found in the homelier-looking people.
We see women wearing elaborate cosmetics, false eyelashes, high heels and beautiful dresses. They may change their costume three times a day in order to parade down Fifth Avenue. Is that the ideal for a woman? What about a man with flowing hair and mustache, wearing a fancy breast pocket handkerchief going into a bar to find girls? Is that ideal?
Then consider a man who smells bad, even from a distance, and who only has two teeth; perhaps he is almost blind, too. Could someone like that be genuine 24 karat gold? You have to focus your concept of an ideal man and woman.
We must understand that your husband or wife is not your personal property. You come out of the fallen world, yet your mate comes as a gift from heaven, through God. You must be able to read the label that comes on your spouse. That label tells you where the item comes from. "Made in Heaven." That gift is given to you in order that you might consummate true love. It is impossible for love to be consummated by one person alone.
This is the Principle. Husbands and wives, look at each other as representatives of God and the Messiah. Your duty is to love one another, and by doing so you are loving the Messiah and your Heavenly Father. Your journey is to eternity, and the achievement of true love is our goal.
Husband and wife should look at this world like they were looking at the Garden of Eden, in which there is only one man and one woman. What if Adam had happened to be crippled? Would Eve have complained to God, "Oh, no, I want another man!"? Eve didn't have that kind of choice. If Adam had been running around and had fallen down on a bush, he might have become blinded in on eye. Would Eve have said, "God, I don't want a one-eyed husband!"? Consider yourselves as Adam and Eve for whom there only one possible mate; it is your destiny.
You men should look at your wives and think, "She is the only woman in the entire universe; she is the only Eve." You may have been thinking about how ugly your husband or wife was, but when you start to look at your spouse from the proper angle you will see universal beauty in him or her. You should look at each other with universal eyeglasses and then your husband will look like a heavenly movie star. With universal eyeglasses, nothing looks ugly in God's creation.
Return for Tomorrow's Post: Men and Women Need Each Other
Photos courtesy of: freedigitalphotos.net
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