Before and After the Marriage Ceremony

Welcome to another week of inspiring words based on the Divine Principle written by Dr. Rev. Sun Myung Moon.  We'll continue the topic of marriage and ideal couples centered on God.  In the Unification Church, members are taught the principles of the Bible from God's point of view and how He had planned a world of peace starting with the first family of Adam and Eve. 

Once members align themselves to these principles on the individual level, they are ready for what is called the Blessing Ceremony.  This ceremony is the matching of two people who most likely never met before.  It is different from any minister giving two people in marriage.  Unification Church members believe Father Moon is the Messiah who God uses to give marriage DIRECTLY.  Through this, the couple is engrafted to God's direct and pure blood lineage and pass it to their children who are then born without the ORIGINAL sin connected to Satan's blood lineage.  Father Moon believes through the restoration of family through intercultural and interracial marriages, world peace can gradually be achieved. 

This movement is worldwide with millions of members all over the world. The following is a speech he gives about love and the blessing:


"Have you ever thought about why I give such long sermons? I have a dramatic answer: because I hate to leave you. I enjoy every minute of my time with you. I study each of you, looking at your features, observing your reactions, inspecting your eyes, nose and mouth. I think about what kind of person would be your ideal mate. That is why the matchings (arranged marriage Blessing) go so fast: I have already done my homework!

I'm not talking this way just to be charming. I mean it. A godly person should be fond of other people. Godly people should love and enjoy their fellow men. Whether you go east or west, north or south, whether it is day or night, it makes no difference.

You must enjoy people. That is why people feel so drawn to me. If Africans were told not to come here, they would feel very sorrowful. They would try the front door, back door and side door and find some way of entering.

Why?

Because they would be attracted to the person who loves and cares most deeply for Africa. That is the result of my ideology. I want to meet everybody and establish bonds with them. I want to love all Americans; I love America more than the Americans do.

Young people are most sensitive to the magnetic power of love.

Even before I came to the United States, I knew that young people would be attracted to me, and my prediction was absolutely correct. You are young people, aren't you? Actually, what I am saying is simply that young people have purer minds than older people. Young people are more attracted to true love.


Yearning for People

Have you also been longing for other people? Have you been missing others, yearning to care for them?

Throughout my entire life, my job has been to love people and pray for them. I find that my prayers are answered; my prayers become reality.

Whenever I meet someone, I enjoy being with him or her; I can entertain, care for and love that person. When people are in love, there are no strange feelings between them. It makes no difference what habits they may have. It makes no difference whether they eat kimchee and kocheejang, or cheese and butter. There are no barriers between lovers. Their union is the beautiful culmination of love. Nothing else is more important.

A perfect plus is like a dynamo; it always creates a perfect minus. It happens automatically, without effort. Wherever a perfect plus is found, a perfect minus appears. If you are a perfect plus, you can sit in the middle of a village doing nothing, and the villagers will come to you automatically.

People are always drawn to me. Do you feel the same way about me? If I touch your hand, do you feel bad or good? How do you men feel? How do you women feel?

Many members think that if they could only shake hands with me once, their heaven would be guaranteed. But they haven't had the chance yet. My handshake is very expensive! I seldom shake anybody's hand, but still people follow me. 

Love Opens Every Door

Imagine someone who has just met a woman for whom he feels a tremendous attraction. Perhaps the two have just recently fallen in love. But then that man meets the Unification Church and he completely forsakes his lover.

Then he begins to yearn day and night, even weeping with longing to meet Reverend Moon. Only love can explain this. Only God's love can work this kind of magic. Love opens every door, including the door to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Such a person may come to where I am staying and I may yell at him, "Get out of here! Why are you sticking around?" But actually, if he loves me so much, I am already living with him in spirit. I will always remain with him.

At night, such a person doesn't have to worry about walking down a dark road, because I will take his hand and lead him. He could even close his eyes while walking down an alley, and I could tell him to step down and he would automatically do it. If I told him to step up, turn left or turn right, he would do so without even opening his eyes. That is how love works.

Physically, I have only one body; I am physically limited. Spiritually, however, I can be a million persons; such a thing is possible spiritually. I am known as a mysterious person, someone with mystical qualities, but actually it is not unusual.

Many, many times throughout the years and decades of my life, I have shed tears out of longing for God. When I cried out for God, missing Him, aching for Him, the entire spirit world would open up to me.

You should long for me just as much as I long for God. Actually, people in the Unification Church who don't long for me, who don't miss me, who have no tearful desire for me are not really members of the Unification Church. When you do reach that level of longing, you can immediately achieve unity, and the entire spirit world will open up to you.

Lawful, Public Love
My concept is that we should be people of deep longings; we should enjoy every minute we spend with someone. When we care about others, we have no dull moments. Meeting others is the proper job for people of God. That is what my life is all about. I am an expert at meeting others.

Someone who comes to meet me at East Garden for the first time may plan to stay only half an hour, but he discovers it isn't so easy to leave. I never tell anyone not to go, but people just don't want to get up and leave. This is a result of the power of love that draws people to me.

People are supposed to long for and miss one another. If love depended on appearances, an ugly person would have a burdensome life. Therefore, God, who is the king of wisdom and justice, designed us to be lovers. When you are in love, nothing matters; ugliness is no concern; you can accept everything.

However, there is one important principle in matters of love. It should be a lawful, public love; that means unselfish love. True love is definitely public love. Through true love you can gain everything, even the spirit world. Since you cannot go alone to the spirit world, you need to go with your beloved. Therefore, a truly loving person can open up the spirit world.

Those of you who are engaged, raise your hands. Your engagement is unique. Many of you were engaged to a stranger. But even so, when you first looked at that stranger, you didn't hate him or her, did you? After looking at the stranger, you didn't want to go anywhere else.

That is the spirit I live by at East Garden. I cherish everyone who comes to sit with me, considering each as my beloved."SMM


Return for tomorrow's Post: God Brings Union Between Man and Woman

This text was rewritten a taken from the Textbook: True Love Volume One, The Restoration of Love written by Dr. Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the founder of the Unification Church.

Second Chance at First Love

This topic may seem geared more to the younger set, but it is possible for adults to find a love that is stronger than any relationship they experienced before.  In fact, it is necessary that the love of your spouse surpasses any love, even beyond the first one we all experienced outside of God's realm, if we are to indemnify our past mistakes of not keeping our purity before marriage.

Some of you may be thinking, "God, why did you give me such a person as my fiancée? Couldn't you have picked someone better for me?" If you think your fiancée is difficult for you to love, you will become the king or queen of love if you learn to love such a person.

This is literally true. Do you think God feels you should have a different fiancée and will change you around? No. Each of you has an endless realm of love to connect with if you make a success out of your relationship. Certainly God wants to fill you with everything you need. Every bridegroom should think that his bride is more precious than royalty and cherish her as his queen, and vice versa. For thousands of years the potential of the Blessing has been coming toward you; how terrible it would be if you, knowingly or unknowingly, stopped it. Not only your ancestors but also all the things of creation will accuse you if you prevent their blessings from materializing.

Those of you who are engaged may answer that you are going toward your fiancée. But is your fiancée going forward or backward? Is he or she moving with confidence? Is he or she about to go up, or down? You may say that you never thought about the question and frankly don't care. You may suppose that when you are with your fiancée you will be satisfied. But what good does it do for two uncertain people to meet? If one confused person joins another, what will result? They will become even more puzzled.

Two confused people will collide with one another. Your eyes will clash, your ears, mouths and minds will clash. You might reason that since everyone else lives that way, you should, too. Perhaps you think that you have no other choice. But what about your family? Once you are living together, children will be born to you -- that's virtually automatic! But will your baby be able to see straight, hear straight, think straight if there are two people such as this in a marriage? Perhaps your baby's eyes will be crossed or only able to look in a certain direction. If you truly realize the position you are standing in, you feel some awe or dread. Once you are aware of it, you cannot just casually enjoy life after the marriage blessing.

Reverend Moon, who authored the Divine Principle which every post is based upon, has members who are engaged for five years before they marry. Many of think it is wonderful, but other people call it crazy. What do you think? Is this truly wonderful?

You say yes, but not very convincingly. Something is holding you back. But when you analyze it further, it really is wonderful. Why? Because this is the only way the universe can have hope. This is the proper way for you to go. It is not just these few years that matter, but hundreds of thousands of generations to come will learn solid lessons from the patterns we establish right now. So think about how wonderful this is. You are laughing now and proclaiming with confidence how wonderful it is; but when you are not so sure, it is like clouds being drawn across a clear blue sky. One should be sure.

Perhaps you say you wish you could wait for five more years, so you could do something more meaningful for the world and for history. Would you choose to wait ten years rather than five? When you think how wonderful it is, are you ready to wait that long? Some of you laugh, but I would like to find out why you laugh. Is it because you think it is wonderful or for some other reason?

The couples do not do this to suffer, but through pain and frustration of sacrifice through marriage, there is hope to see a new America reborn. A new standard of marriage in America can be seen with couples like this. Waiting five years is not easy, but we have to conquer it.  After observing American couples, for some odd reason, one sees a large amount of people think they have the freedom and right to get divorced. But I know that the universe does not work that way. Once you choose love, it should last forever and ever. That is the value of love. All human value rests on that.


First Love is Unforgettable

Actually, love develops better when you do things without people being aware. Sometimes you see a man and woman embracing and kissing in the street and wonder what kind of special privilege from the court of the universe they think they have. During their engagements, Reverend Moon's members are told not to kiss or even hold hands, because it could lead to something more. But if you are truly grounded in Principle and ethics, it is hypothetically possible for you to kiss without it being bad, but until the proper time, don't do it.

When you men look at your fiancée, do you naturally desire to touch her face or her body? The body is designed to be touched. Certainly a person's face is important, but the most important thing for a woman is that her spouse has a man's body and vice-versa.

The innocent, pure baby loves his mother regardless of how she looks. Even if his mother is a hunchback with only one eye, the baby wants to be with his mommy. In the same way, men and women should love each other unconditionally; don't try to evaluate each other.

The same way you loved your parents as a child -- purely and uncritically -- you should love your spouse. Are you confident you can do it?

When you give your first love it is always unconditional. Men and women are designed to experience the beauty and purity of first love and live together forever in that love. With that first love, there is no such thing as a racial or cultural barrier. Teenagers have minds of openness and sensitivity to all the joys, tragedies and beauties of life. They normally feel everything so deeply. Even when they see autumn leaves falling, they feel touched by that.

Unfortunately here in America there are not many who have preserved their first love. Most of you already have some kind of past, so what can we do? Realizing the preciousness of that first love and knowing that you have lost it for whatever reason, you should be more humble, repentant, and fervent than before. In order to compensate, be more sacrificial in loving your spouse, ready to accept him or her unconditionally. When you are humble and open to each other, you can compensate for the loss of your first love.

If your conscience was really alive, you could not say to God, "I don't have a good fiancée; he is not the kind I wanted." Your original mind should be saying, "Father, because I am so impure, I don't really deserve any person as my spouse. But since I have received this spouse as a gift from You, I will serve him/her for the rest of my life. I want to deserve this great blessing with all my heart and soul."

Those who do not have the privilege of giving your first to your spouse must be repentful and at the same time most appreciative to God and willing to compensate. In this way you can restore your love and reach the same degree of Heaven.

Couples Are Matched Based on Future Children

Reverend Moon continues to tell how he brings two couples together who can achieve a greater love once they unite centered upon God:

"I will give you my matching secret: I do not match you primarily as husband and wife but I see through you to your beautiful children of the future. Is that against the Principle or according to Principle? No matter what, the Principle persists here in America.

"To make a long story short, let's say your fiancée turned out to be a large, broad woman, and you immediately thought of her as undesirable. But suppose she (or he) has an incredibly warm and wide heart of pure love. Then what would you say?

"On the other hand, many women with beautiful faces possess only a flat, shallow love. Through my research I have learned that the love of an ugly woman is very round and possesses great depth and nobility. It's easy to stand on flat love, while spherical love is harder to balance on, but which kind of love would you prefer in your mate?

"Certainly, spherical love is better. So if you think your fiancée is more attractive than you, you are most likely getting flat love. But if he or she is uglier than you, you are most likely getting spherical love. This rule of thumb applies to both men and women. When you learn to love a fiancée whom you previously disliked intensely, you will give birth to the greatest of children.

"No matter how ugly your fiancée may be, still he or she is the supreme form of creation and therefore more special than anything else in nature. He or she is the crowning glory of God's masterpiece of creation. You may call upon the things of creation to sing a song for you and they would be unable to comply, but your fiancée should. So unless you are able to love nature, you cannot love other people."

Reverend Moon the Matchmaker

What is the secret of being able to match hundreds of couples from around the world? Simply having a loving heart. Love is everything; love has knowledge and power; love can penetrate and understand everything; love endows one with a vision of the future.

Reverend Moon talks to couples who he matched then married them.  They are ungrateful about their spouse even though they had previous relationships outside of God's realm:

"Because I can match with such a heart I am the world's greatest matchmaker. Aren't you glad of that? I have two different reputations. Some people say that I am an excellent matchmaker and others call me a bad one. Those who call me a bad matchmaker simply don't know the facts. After you have lived together for three years, you will discover why I matched you and your spouse, and you will come back and report to me!

"Some of you have already concluded that you cannot accept your match, even though you have never lived together or even gotten to know each other. You have even asked me for new matches, but I have said that is ridiculous, since you don't even know each other. Sometimes I have counseled engaged couples who have come to see me at East Garden. "Did you know that your fiancée had this or that characteristic?" I ask them. Both have been completely surprised, because they haven't gotten to know each other at all. They knew far less about each other than I knew about them.

"In some cases I matched a very sensitive woman to a dull, insensitive man. If she can love that man, her love lungs will really develop. When a sensitive woman can make a dense man become sensitive, she becomes a master genius! Actually, the all-knowing God created only 95 percent of our being, and He asks

"I am an expert on human beings, in a way, because I have dealt with so many different people throughout my life. Many people have betrayed me, and many have been completely loyal; some have exploited me. All kinds of people have come and gone, and I have studied and researched every one of them. My mind is very analytical, and I never let any experience pass by without observing it closely and learning from it. I have considered millions of situations and human variables. So I have millions of mental "index cards" that I can pull out and refer to when I match people. I can see that someone with one kind of nature will need a spouse with a particular characteristic. That is how I match couples."

Through this type of marriage, once a couple stretches their love muscles to become one after three years of struggle, they can overcome their past mistakes in relationships and have a love that goes beyond any relationship they ever had, even their first love.

Marriage was Meant for Eternity

Marriage is a journey that men and women begin together. Where will it end? Can you imagine living for 10,000 years? Compared to eternity, that is just the beginning. Some people realize that. Others think, "Boy, one month is eternity! I can't even stand to look at my wife."

Marriage is like exploring a gold mine. In one month or one year you can barely find one seam of gold. There may be all kinds of foreign elements in it, so unless you dig deeper down, you won't know what's there. That is the adventure of married life.

There are two different kinds of appearance. A Broadway stage can look like a golden palace, but there is nothing behind the facade. On the other hand, a simple mountain may look plain, but when you dig into it you discover limitless resources inside. I always ask whether genuineness can be more frequently found in an attractive person or a homely one. You greedy guys always think you can be genuine and handsome too! Actually, there are always exceptions, so you can be the exception! But generally the unchanging qualities are more often found in the homelier-looking people.

We see women wearing elaborate cosmetics, false eyelashes, high heels and beautiful dresses. They may change their costume three times a day in order to parade down Fifth Avenue. Is that the ideal for a woman? What about a man with flowing hair and mustache, wearing a fancy breast pocket handkerchief going into a bar to find girls? Is that ideal?

Then consider a man who smells bad, even from a distance, and who only has two teeth; perhaps he is almost blind, too. Could someone like that be genuine 24 karat gold? You have to focus your concept of an ideal man and woman.

We must understand that your husband or wife is not your personal property. You come out of the fallen world, yet your mate comes as a gift from heaven, through God. You must be able to read the label that comes on your spouse. That label tells you where the item comes from. "Made in Heaven." That gift is given to you in order that you might consummate true love. It is impossible for love to be consummated by one person alone.

This is the Principle. Husbands and wives, look at each other as representatives of God and the Messiah. Your duty is to love one another, and by doing so you are loving the Messiah and your Heavenly Father. Your journey is to eternity, and the achievement of true love is our goal.

Husband and wife should look at this world like they were looking at the Garden of Eden, in which there is only one man and one woman. What if Adam had happened to be crippled? Would Eve have complained to God, "Oh, no, I want another man!"? Eve didn't have that kind of choice. If Adam had been running around and had fallen down on a bush, he might have become blinded in on eye. Would Eve have said, "God, I don't want a one-eyed husband!"? Consider yourselves as Adam and Eve for whom there only one possible mate; it is your destiny.

You men should look at your wives and think, "She is the only woman in the entire universe; she is the only Eve." You may have been thinking about how ugly your husband or wife was, but when you start to look at your spouse from the proper angle you will see universal beauty in him or her. You should look at each other with universal eyeglasses and then your husband will look like a heavenly movie star. With universal eyeglasses, nothing looks ugly in God's creation. 


Return for Tomorrow's Post: Men and Women Need Each Other

Photos courtesy of: freedigitalphotos.net

This text was taken from the Textbook: Restoration of True Love Chapter 5: The Matching based upon the Diving Principle teaching of Reverend Sun Myung Moon.