10 Reasons People Yearn for Lasting Marriage

If we are going to do something about the disintegrating family, we must first do something about marriage.

Nora Spurgin

Steven Covey in his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly-Effective Families” writes that there is a synergy between a man and woman that creates a new mind, a new option, a third alternative, or a third person of shared values.

We are aware of the various problems surrounding our society which affect the family today. We are surrounded by a culture of promiscuity, crime and violence placing all of us at frequent emotional and physical risk daily.

The family is the best shelter for our children in such a shaky environment. Unfortunately, even that shelter is falling in our day and time.

It is a relationship, not just an individual that is needed for holding power.

“I remember visiting my family home after my mother died. My father and my youngest sitser and brother lived at home, there was family, but no anchor relationship. Everyone functioned as individuals. My mother's absence was deeply felt by all of us.”

Every successful venture starts with a clear goal and a responsible plan. In the business world, goals are essential to the success of any company. When we apply this to the world of marriage, it should be a long-term goal. All attitudes should

Having relationships without commitment is like driving a car without insurance.

Q: What can we do to strengthen marriage?

We must first have a long-term plan or goal for lasting marriages.

It is said that engaged couples prepare more for the their wedding then they do their marriage.

Even though America is a country of affluence, it severely is lacking in preparing the youth for lasting marriages, maintenance and check-ups for those marriages.

Marriage and Parenthood

To get married or become a parent are the most long-reaching choices we make in our lives. Yet we find that few people enter this commitment with little preparation.

Every license we obtain in society requires, training, education and testing. But for marriage, training is not required and seldom provided.

Here are 10 reasons why one may seek to have a marriage and make it last:

1. Everyone Seeks Happiness

According to polls, married couples are happier than singles.

2. A Committed Relationship Provides Emotional Security

Long-term relationships allow two individuals to build trust that has been tested and strengthened. Like a bank account, when one continuously invests in something, this makes the end product increasingly more valuable. Plus, it is a great place to feel the full expression of the pleasure of sexuality which God created it for without the fear or guilt.

3. Married People Have Better Health and Longevity

Numerous studies show that our physical health is much enhanced by the companionship and emotional security of a healthy relationship. Among the elderly, you will see that a death of a loved one seems to be the precipitating factor in the death of a spouse.

Secure love creates a vibrancy which can only strengthen the physical immune system.

4. Married People Have Greater Wealth

Married people save four times more money than singles, according to one report. Living singly after a divorce, setting up a separate household doubles many expenses. The economiscs are more secure.

5. Marriage Provides A Secure Shelter For Children

A happy family is the best atmosphere to raise a child. Children will be exposed to a wider range of training and experience of both parents as their relationship is an anchor to center on. In a marriage, the children have a male and female role model. But most importantly, there is the dynamic of a solid relationship that creates energy – love, care, sensitivity, compassion and learning how to deal with negative emotions.

6. Lasting Marriages Avoid Complications

Marriages that last long avoid the extreme complications of multiple divorces, families, and blended families with more complications with finances.

7. Lasting Marriages Builds a Stable Structure

Marriage brings a structure and security to all of its members. It can create a lasting framework upon which to build and refine family patterns. Every marriage relationship develops a lifeo f its own with its own expectations of lifestyles. A change in this patter require re-patterning such lifestyles.

8. Lasting Marriages allows for Long-Term Financial Commitment

In order to purchase a house or mortgage or invest in building a business or a professional partnership it requires time. None of these are possible if the marriage is expected to only be short-term.

9. Lasting Marriages Allows Creation of a Social Circle That Reaches Out to the Community

The greater this circle, the larger the safety net that is built around you. This also adds stability to the whole community.

10. Provides Life-long Companionship

When you invest in a life-long marriage, you are also collecting life memories and experiences. Both are joyful and sorrowful but is a shared life that is weaved into the tapestry design that is yours alone. A life that is refined by the ups and downs of life are indeed beautiful to behold.

I will end this session by restating that setting goals for a long term marriage right from the beginning will set the course for realization of these goals and a successful marriage. I want to leave you with a quote from Michelle Werner Davis, Family Therapist and author ofDivorce Busting.

"I've grown increasingly convinced that most marriages are worth saving simply because most problems are solvable."

Mrs. Werner Davis developed a therapy called Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy, and suggests simply ""do more of what works and less of what doesn't."

Return for Tomorrow's Post: 10 Ways to Create Lasting Marriages

This post was rewritten and derived from the lecture “Creating Lasting Marriages” Nora Spurgin, Unification Church member.