Center on Higher Purpose for Unity

The previous two posts spoke about finding unity through working toward a greater purpose. It is not easy to live our lives for a purpose that is beyond ourselves.

Even though it seems that it would be naturally perfect for members of a family to favor their family over other, employees to put the company ahead of themselves, citizens work for the needs of the community and countries put the whole of humanity ahead of themselves, unfortunately, we are beings who are not governed by the impulses of our original godly heart.

We witness harmony in nature, but seldom see it within human life. Even though we are God's greatest creation, people are self-destructive.

When an individual is abused by the collective, this aggravates the fear. 

Unfortunately, unlike nature, people needs constant reminders and incentives in order to maintain the right priorities. On the other hand, the impulse to give to the greater good is also strong.

There is a natural fear to give too much and thus being used, this is counterbalanced by the fear of being useless. It is horrible when one feels they are not needed for beauty, goodness and truth in the world.

Being of service to others, being allied with an important end is a fundamental need.

A person feels their value is derived in general not only from personal integrity and the affection of loved ones, but also from having an 'objective worth', a value that comes from benefiting the public good.

Eleanor Roosevelt commented about citizenship:

“When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.”

Many have come to realize this truth from experience through combating sadness or stagnation. Therefore, they actively reach out to help someone else instead of wallow in their own world.

Such people know that as long as they pursue happiness or personal growth it will elude them; only when they give to service to a greater goal do these blessings find them.

The heart and conscience pushes each of us to give our time, energy and heart for a worthy purpose. They push us to be like the wax of the candle that gives itself to sustain the light and warmth of the flame.

Humanity has too often denied God's concerns and welfare of the whole for its own petty interests.

To reverse this wrong direction, sometimes the heart and conscience call people to deny themselves to an extraordinarily degree.

Who can explain the course which Mohandas Gandhi gave of himself? Such a sacrifice of sacrifice of self confounds worldly thinking.

There is clearly a deep joy that rewards those who have killed their smaller selves in order to become a part of a greater endeavor.

Relationship as Higher Purpose

The most basic shared projects is the relationship itself.

Members of the family, teammates and business partners often wisely sacrifice for the sake of their alliance, for the 'we-ness”.

This 'we-ness' has a vitality that depends on how much the participants favor the interest of the relationship over their own personal interests to reach their personal goals and meet the individual needs through the relationship instead of around or in spite of it. Any sports team that is good, understands this.

“In order to have a winner, the team must have a feeling of unity,” says legendary University of Alabama Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant. “Every player must put the team first—ahead of personal glory.”

People who have been married for a while know this too. They make many sacrifices for the marriage. When a couple makes love within a caring marriage, this is a metaphor for such an idea.

Each partner seeks to satisfy the other and ultimately come to surrender to their higher union.

Rather than lose anything in this surrender, each person gains deep joy and a meaningful connection through it.

In families that are resilient, researcher and counselor Ross Campbell fond that there is an overarching moral or spiritual purpose that binds the members together.

It is a paradox that centering on something higher than the family also strengthens the bonds within the family itself.

A family finds they have a rapport with one another when they give their time and energy to others through altruism such as helping out the neighbors, hosts guests or volunteering for the community.

Such families build 'social capital' as Robert D. Putnam, Harvard University, states is the connection with and good will of neighbors which enhances the family's well-being and helps, supports, and gives strengthen when they are in need of it.

Daniel and Lai-Cheng's family is bound through a patriotic purpose. They are oftentimes hundreds of miles apart. Daniel is in the British Royal Air Force which calls him to leave for about nine months out of the year. Even though Lai-Cheng struggles like all military wives to care for her three young children on a budget and alone, she shares her husband's commitment to her country just as if she was in the service.

She is proud of the example Daniel is setting for the children, to live for something beyond themselves.

She understands that in order for her husband to be happy, he has to have the kind of work he loves.

When he is home, he cares for his children and gives his wife a break from her strenous routine. When he is away, they stay in regular contact.

Lai-Cheng remarks, “I think it works because even though we are often apart and do different things, I know we

are both willing to do whatever it takes to achieve what we want: a family that cares for each other and serves our country.”

Family has become its own island for many, a haven set apart from the wider world. This position impoverishes both home and community and places impossible demands on the nuclear family to meet all the members' needs.

Also, the Western viewpoint of romantic love is too thin for a foundation of lasting love and care for children.

There is a constant questions of “Am I happy? Is this meeting my needs?” This strains the bond and places the cart before the horse.

When the relationship itself and the public purpose is ideally honored first, this nourishes and fortifies the participants' attachment to one another.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: 

This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook "Educating for True Love" written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Sun Myung Moon's philosophy.