Four Worlds of Heart in Family

All the evidence from the previous posts show that there is something important for human development in the very structure of the family.

Reverend Sun Myung Moon summarizes that roles in the family create a certain 'realm of heart'. This heart fostered between the relationships between mother-father, parents-children, siblings, and God and family becomes a school for love.

People learn about love through being sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers.

“The family teaches by its form,” as educator Gabriel Moran explains it.

Each realm of heart reflects an aspect of God's love.

God is the Parent of all parents. He has the absolute love that surpasses the love of even model parents. With that love He can embrace all the parents of the world. In fact, God created man from His parental love.

Without that love from God, we die.

God is always ready to give the type of love that is best suited for the person who is seeking a relationship with Him.

If we are ready for parental love from God, He is prepared to give it. If we want brotherly love, conjugal love, or the love of a friend from Him, He is ready with these.

It is so amazing and wonderful that God who is a God of love protects us in every possible relationship

When we fulfill each realm of heart (children's realm, siblings realm conjugal realm, and the parent's realm) we grow to resemble God's many-faceted love.

Each type of love that is exhibited in the family forms a world of experiences and responsibilities that becomes a matrix for the growth of heart.

Lessons in Loving Others

The family works to school people to have other-centered love through providing crucial relationships to learn from. Each realm of heart involves relating to significant others or partners in love.

In the child's ream of heart, the parents become their most significant other. The sibling's realms of heart, their brothers/sisters and peers are increasingly significant. Within the spouse's realms of heart, one has a relationship with the opposite sex who are emotionally and physically committed for the rest of one's life.

Children are the significant other in the parent's realm of heart.

True love begins with the infant responding to a parent in the child’s realm of love.

A baby is not alone in the universe. He or she is compelled to bond with others by all the forces within.

Many theorists conclude that a baby's attachment to their parent is a necessary building block of relating to others with empathy for the rest of their life.

The quality of the interactions between a parent and child is an essential love relationship that gives each a lifelong perspective on others.

When brothers and sisters interact with their siblings, this realm of heart offers a new territory where the growing child must accommodate others. He or she now shares the parents' universe with their sibilings.

One learns they must not hurt their sibling but must wait their turn and share.

In turn, the relationship of brother and sister in the family can offer joy of companionship and expand each child's love into new dimensions.

When a child must cooperate with their playmates or children at school, issues of fair play, justice, and honesty come to the foreground as he or she learns that there are yet others who need respect and accommodations.

Through experiencing the sibling's realm of heart, a child begins to relate to the world of their peers. The repertoire they obtain through these relationship expand dramatically, as well as their heart for others in society as they mature.

Maturity brings the world of the opposite sex into sharp focus.

A newlywed couple often feel that they are the only two people in the world.

This is how rich the world or realm they occupy together. It is an exclusive, intensely exciting, deeply affecting circle of relationships in which each will learn to love someone who is truly their 'other'. 

They will experience a different emotion and mental make-up than with others they encounter.

When one becomes a parent, he or she enters a realm of relationship with a child that opens up a whole new world of loving and caring.

The parent's realm of love is perhaps the most transformative relationship that resembles the heart and love of God the most closely.

With their children, parents have a dependent 'other' who needs and demands more than anyone else has demanded in a lifetime. They must be attendant to their growth. As a parent, rewards and blessings are enormous as well as anxieties and emotional taxes.

The heart grows here earnestly through other-centered love.

Grandparent's love is an extension of the parent's realm of heart. This love has its own special gifts to bestow and receive from the grandparents.

When we grow and understand the inner workings of the family through experiencing these four realms of heart, we grow to appreciate the brilliantly designed vehicle of emotional, moral and spiritual growth.

The impact of your family does not stop within its own relationships either. The lessons one learns from their interactions in the family is profound and far-reaching. It extrapolates into a person's orientation toward the rest of the world.

Ethicist James Q. Wilson said, “The family is a continuing locus of reciprocal obligations that constitute an unending school for moral instruction . . . . We learn to cope with the people of this world because we learn to cope with the members of our family.”

Photos courtesy of : freedigitalphotos.net 

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This post was rewritten and derived from the religious textbook “Educating for True Love” written by a team of writers to explain Reverend Sun Myung Moon's philosophy.

Home is the Beginning of World Peace

The True Meaning of the Saying, "All Goes Well if there is True Harmony in the Family."

This is a saying in the oriental teaching.

This is a good saying.  When we talk about a home, of course it has people at the heart of the home.  There are the grandparents, parents and then there are the children.  That is not all.  The house itself is a microcosm of all of creation.  All things are gathered here.

When we think of "my home", we normally think of it as the place where my mother and father, wife and children are.

But my home is not just this. There would also be my grandparents, and the house itself and the yard. The surrounding environment harmonizes well with this microcosm of creation. This is essential for happiness.

When grandparents come into an environment that is not harmonized, they will not feel good.  The sight of a grandfather and grandmother laughing with each other cannot be compared to the noisy laughter of a young couple.

Did you know that all things come together in harmony through the laughter of the grandfather and grandmother when they harmonize with each other?

The laughter of wrinkled grandparents is very dignified.  The grandfather's laughter is deep and hearty.  When he makes a gesture, his movements are slow but broad, high, deep and large.

The deep laughter of wrinkled grandparents is quite dignified.

You may not know this, but all things come together in harmony through the grandfather and grandmother's laughter as they harmonize with each other. The grandfather's laughter is deep and hearty. When he gestures, his movements are slow, but broad, high, deep and large.

Everything should be connected through the three stages of top, middle and bottom to bring about any harmony. 

This explains why harmony does not come from a straight line which links two points on a horizontal level.

Whatever goes through two points is called a line, and two points cannot bring about the beauty of harmony.  It needs to have a curve and bend.

There is only harmony when something goes through three points.

So, we have the grandfather, the father in the middle and then those who are underneath.

Normally, we think of a family as consisting of four generations.  You have the grandfather and grandmother, father and mother, your own country and then your own sons and daughters.

There may be five generations in a family, but normally there are four - your grandfather, your father, your own couple and then your sons and daughters.

Because of this, we introduce the three stages: formation, growth and completion.

This teaching deals with living in harmony and declares, "All goes well if there is harmony in the family."

Why is this?

Because someone wanted to be poetic?  No.

Harmony in the family means that four generations revolve around the united grandparents of top and bottom, east and west, north and south, front and back, and left and right.

We will all live together in the joy of laughter when this is achieved.

Return for Tomorrow's Post: Love Like God's Love


This post was rewritten from, True Love Cheon Seong Gyeong Book four Chapter 2

 

Grandparents have value

We speak a lot about how the world will be better for the generations to come due to the past sacrifices of many saints and people of faith but what about those who do not get to enjoy the best things life has to offer?

Today in America, we see the trend where the young can enjoy a life in paradise, but not so for the elderly.

It is a great place for young men and women, but not for children or grandfathers and grandmothers.

Everyone else is digging pits of hell that will lead to ruin.  This is happening because the American system does not fit into the original form.

American families require that the grandfather has to call before they can drop by their own children's or grand children's home.  Does such a way of living sound close to the Kingdom of Heaven?

How about a loving daughter-in-law that tries to buy her gray-haired grandparents something that is better than what she buys her husband?  Such a beautiful heart is a lovely sight to see.

When they are able to have even more joy then the joy the daughter-in-law feels, before long the grandparents will giver her everything that hey have kept hidden, even things to do with their love.

The Grandfather is in the Position of God in the Family

Who is the oldest grandfather in the world?  It is God.

You learn the love of the Grandfather of all from your own grandfather.

When you learn such a tradition, you will be able to receive the treasure of love from all the secret storage rooms of the oldest Grandfather, God.

That will be a wonderful time!

As a grandfather and grandmother represent God, they are the most experienced in the world.  They don't sleep long because they are old.

You should think, "My grandfather is God who protects my family without getting any sleep."

If you have such an attentive grandfather or grandmother within your family, your house will not catch fire or ever be robbed.

If your grandparents are not sleeping, then they are praying in those hours.

Your grandparents pray at night for God to bless their sons and daughters.

While they pray, they will guide you saying, hey, so and so, it is dangerous to go out today, please listen to me.  They will let you know, do not go out today!

Do not fight what is thought to be instinct, but are good ancestors!  Son, do not go anywhere, Daughter and daughter-in-law do not go far from home today, there is danger ahead." Don't grandchildren need such grandparents?

Have you ever witnessed such phenomenon?

When the grandmother and grandfather love each other, they will dance, the mother and father will dance, and the brothers and sisters will dance together.

Those who live using this as their model are protected by the universe.

If someone was to try to kill such a person, the universe would do everything to prevent such a crime.

Even parents need to get permission from the grandfather before sending their grandson anywhere.  They simply do not just make decisions on their own even though they are now adults.

This is because the grandfather stands in the position of God.

The Relationship Between Grandparents and Grandchildren

There are a lot of complaints in this day and age of how children are not being taught manners and the big debate whether parents should spank their children or not.

If a grandchild was to demand things in front of his mother and father and his brothers and sisters this is obviously an impolite manner.

The grandparents are over eighty years old, and then this little brat is going to audaciously stand firm in front of his father and mother and elder brothers and sisters who have superiority before him demanding answers about his grandpa and grandma.

Would anyone scold the child who demands where are his grandparents?

Why not?  If someone did the same thing in another situation, you would scold him or her saying, "How can you treat Grandpa like this?"  But if the child stands firm and asks again, you would be pleased.

He asks in such a way because he misses his grandfather.  So, it is a good thing not a bad thing to miss him.  All of heaven and earth misses him.  He misses everyone, too.

A child will understand from experience that his father would become tired after 10 minutes of sitting in his laps, but his grandfather or an elderly person would stay still even after an hour or two.  Of all the family members, his grandfather will embrace him the most.

It is not a bad thing to be embraced and touched by his grandfather who says, "Your nose is like this. Your ears are like that." He is patted, caressed and touched all over, but he does not mind. How great that would be! 

This is awesome!

This is the same as a tree becoming one with the root.  Then, if man is the root and the main sprout comes to like each other, what will happen?

All the other roots and branches attach to the main ones and will not be able to avoid liking one another.  You should think about this.

When the main root and main sprout like each other, that relationship can embrace everything.


Q. So, who is the main root in the family?

The grandfather always has his eyes on his eldest grandson. The main root of the family would be the grandson - the first grandson.

Even though we have as a culture in America lost value in the elderly or even our own grandparents, we must remember that they represent the past.

There is also a connection of how families have secluded themselves away from the tradition of revering grandparents to the fall of the family.

Without this main root or past for which to connect our lineage, all falls away.



Return for Tomorrow's Post: Live as if You May Die in a Year


This post was rewritten and derived from Cheon Seong Gyeong, Book Thirteen,  Chapter 4, Section 4,5

Family is Training Ground of Heart

If there is a wealthy family, then what kind of fortune should the one in the child's position receive?  They should be able to inherit the fortune of the grandparents and the parents.

Why do you think we need grandparents?

We need grandparents because they represent the living history of the past, the ancestors in history who lived before.  Everyone has at least one childhood memory of loving their grandparents, hearing their stories and spending time to get to know the history of the family lineage.

The parents represent the present and the children are symbolic of the future.

Children are also the center of the whole.  The center of grandparents, the center of parents, the center of God are all founded on true love.

Thus, when you love and respect your grandparents, it means to learn to inherit all the past.  Through loving your father you learn from the present.  Through loving children you learn about the future.

So, what does one inherit from their grandfather and grandmother, and father and mother?  You inherit true love.

Although your grandfather and grandmother are old, they united in true love.  Your mother and father are united.  You should be like them and inherit the future.

But, we cannot inherit the future unless we become a true family.

When we take a look at the three generations, it is like looking at the universe.

The love of the universe resides in the true family that represents the present and future.

The Family is a Model for the Heavenly Kingdom

When we observe the animal world, we see that male and female animals love each other.  This is a textbook from which we learn about the love of the universe.

Without a grandmother and a grandfather, we feel unstable.  It is only with them that we can move straight into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Grandparents, mother, father and children will all go to the Kingdom of Heaven.  The model and textbook for all of this is the true family that is centered on God's love.  We see that this is opposite of the current families where separation, divorce, fights, selfishness and destruction is at the very core.

Those who loved the true grandparents, the true parents, the true children, the true family, nation,world and true universe will automatically go to the Kingdom of Heaven.

We can think of the ideal family as a type of educational material that teaches us how to establish the Kingdom of heaven.

A person who loves his grandfather has a model to love all the people of his grandfather's age in the world as their own flesh and blood.  If he loves the people of his parents' age as his own, he will be able to travel freely throughout all the nations.

If he thinks of the young people of all nations as his own sons and daughters, he will be able to travel freely within the Kingdom of Heaven even though there are twelve pearly gates and directions.

A person who loves people in the world as his own family will have no boundaries even when he goes to the spirit world.

Therefore, the family is a textbook which shows us how to make a connection with the Kingdom of Heaven.

When you apply this principle to the national level, then you will become a patriot.

When you apply it to the world, you will be a saint. When you practice it in heaven and earth, you will become God's children, or holy sons and daughters.  People have such a desire.

You should become a person who can embrace all the sons and daughters of every race as well as their grandsons and granddaughters.

In this way, you should stand in the position to become the owners of the family who with true parents love, and love the people of the world with true love.

When you stand in the position to represent the family that practices true love connected to the original parents through God's love, you finally enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Family Brings Together the Love of Three Generations

The family encompasses the whole of history, the present and the future.

What is the ultimate point that God has sought for six thousand years?  It is the true family where love is interconnected and where all are united in love.

Everything that exists comes under love's dominion.

We cannot cut our relationship with this absolute source of love.

Adam and Eve's original mission was to establish such a true family.  They were not just to end up as man and woman, but instead as God dreamed of a new family where they would be united.  This is the first starting point towards establishing men and women.

Thus to be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven safely, you have to find a family and within the realm of that family in this world, enter and live in a place where you can feel satisfied in God's love.

Only then can you go beyond this world as well.

In order to form the family realm of love you have to be unconditional. 

Parents represent the past, the husband and wife represent the present while the children represent the future.

To love one's partner during your lifetime is the equivalent to God loving the world.

It is where the oneness of parents, a couple, and the children offer their love that represents heaven and earth.

With this as a foundation, they would tell their descendants to follow them.  The original homeland of the heart, the place where heavenly affection is felt will be remembered in heaven and earth.

What do you think that God would be looking for up until now?

He has not been seeking a subject partner, rather He has been looking for an ideal object partner.

He has searched for those who resemble God and possess the inner and outer aspects of the world He created.  The starting point would be the family.

The best representative of the universe is family. 

To be one with the parents is the same as the past and the present meeting.

At that point, you can love the past by loving your parents, love the present through loving your partner and love the future by loving your children.

Therefore, you can deeply experience the love of three generations within the realm of the family.

This is the placed where the three kinds of love are concentrated within the family.

The Kingdom of Heaven begins in the family.  It does not unfold anywhere else.

That is all the Kingdom of Heaven is:  it is a 3-D extension of the family and not something that goes beyond the family realm.  Therefore, when you embrace your husband or wife, you should think that this is a man of the world becoming one with a woman of the world.

The place where you make a condition to love all of mankind begins in no other place but within the relationships of the family unit.

Therefore it makes sense that the world's problem began with the first family, therefore, all of the problems of society can be remedied within the family.

You should live your life this way.

Loving your parents connects history with the present and paves a road for God to come to you.

Therefore, children should love their parents to connect the human beings of history with yourself as an inhabitant of the present, that is to unite the past and the present. 

Parents love your children centering on yourself to connect the present with the future.  A philosophy that practices and sings the praise of such a love for thousands of years is Unification Thought.

The Family is the Training Ground of the Heart

We cannot live separate from the heart.

Even if you are the president of a country or have global wealth or authority, you would not be able to live if you had no place to express your heartfelt joy.

Without the expression of heart, how can you feel the deepest satisfaction from the people who are under your command, office or the people who follow you?

You must feel it in your family.

You should be able to return home after a long day and feel joy through your spouse and children.  This is a primal joy.  It is the same with God.  You should be proud of this joy in front of others.

Even if God was to snap His fingers and restore the world, He would not be able to feel any joy if there is not a family centered on love to share His love.

Even though the Western trend is to abandon the family after a certain age, we need our families after all.

Parents are meant to be the head of the family and teachers should be the head of the educational institutions which represent society.

Parents assist your physical development as you grow up as well as help you emotionally.  Then why do we need school?

It trains us for life in society.

If family is the school where we learn the true basic emotions, then school is the experimental training ground of society.

But, society is not where this training ground ends.  It ends with the national level.  Once people have experienced everything from the family to the societal level, they go on to the next level.  The president is the fruit of the third stage after the formation and growth stages.

Today, many people complain about the president, but this attitude is learned within the family with children who dishonor and complain about their own parents.

A seed divides, sends roots down and a shoot up, then through circulatory action, growth begins.

After such division comes a synthesis when flowers and fruit are produced.

Schools raise the children needed by the nation through educating them to serve the nation. Training is not real life, but a preparation stage for the life they will live.

Therefore, you should not make the wrong preparations.

How do you describe a family unit?

Family is the training ground for the heart.  It is a place where you train your heart to love.  This is why you should live with affections like brothers and sisters at school and also live affectionately like brothers and sisters in a nation.

Proper parental education is needed at school, in society and also by the nation.

Parents should pass everything in the realm of heart on to their children. 

Parents should build a foundation of heart for their children through teaching them to follow their parents' rightful footsteps in living a certain way in the family, society and in the nation.

When you look at a family, it is not necessarily a good one just because you see that they have a good house and a good environment.

On the other hand, a family might have a bad environment, or a shabby house, if it offers peace and you are connected to all things in your life to it, then it is a good family.

This home has a foundation of heart where the parents and children live for the sake of each other.

This is the original homeland where memories and the source of motivation for all living begins.  Then it becomes the base to determine how much happiness we have in life.



Photos courtesy of: freedigitalphotos.net

Return for Tomorrow's Post: The Three Great Loves

This post was rewritten and derived from True Family Cheon Seong Gyeong Book 4, Chapter three