Trust God Matches Best Person as Your Spouse

In my experience lately, I wondered why God matches certain people or cause an attraction between two unlikely people and now I found out why of course through reading speeches and through recent experience.

There may not be just only ONE person possible for us to be happy with, but there is the BEST one God has in mind that not only benefits the family, but the world through their united interaction.

I think too many people settle early for the second best chose for their spouse or just good enough.  Then there are those who get to experience that out-of-the-world matching by God where there is absolutely no question, this person was created for you and matched by God.

They don't necessarily seem to fit separately, but the best matches are those who have the opposite qualities of their mate, yet are headed toward the same direction.

This type of match of 'opposite attraction' once this couple unites, will have a broader range of attributes and experiences to bring to the relationship.  A child of this kind of harmonious marriage will inherit the wide range of talents and backgrounds of their parents and will be a well-round person able to embrace more people.

There is absolutely one woman for a man who can represent the best sister, mother, daughter, wife for that him.  I believe each of us has that one person - God's ideal mate for us.

In a previous post, we imagined  the Garden of Eden how God had prepared Eve for Adam.  Could they say to God, I don't like her hair, who else is better?  Absolutely, Adam and Eve were born for each other.

Marriage is for the purpose of man to learn about woman, and women to learn all about man and to live for the sake of their spouse, family, nation and world through this love and for God to be at the center.

This is God's ideal.

So why does it seem that most people do not seem to get it right even though in the beginning of the relationship it seems like a perfect match.

One blog described the law of love attraction so well that I want to contribute this portion of the post to their advice.

First, the blog speaks about you first need to know the list of qualities you need in your ideal mate.  Then they challenge you with the next step...list the qualities you think your mate would want.  The hard truth, the blog says, is that everyone wants an ideal mate, but they themselves don't have the qualities to be the perfect mate for someone else:

"If both of your checklists match perfectly, it’s instant attraction. The secret law of attraction in love would set into motion a chain of reactions that will draw both of you together like moths to a warm flame!

Most singles start out in their teens or twenties wanting the best partner in all aspects, and by the time they’re twenty five, they drop their expectations a wee bit. And by the time they reach their thirties, they drop all their expectations and date anyone they get.

Now obviously, even if you find your partner by dropping all your expectations, you’re never going to be completely, truly happy in love. You’re always going to look at someone else, and wonder how things could have been if you could have been with your dream partner.

This is one of the biggest reasons why some people start to fall out of love with their own partners after a few years into a long-term relationship.

Instead of dropping expectations in love all the time, retain them. But just like you have expectations from your partner, remember that your dream partner has expectations too. Ask yourself what your dream partner might want from you and try to become a better person yourself."



If people don't have a simple understanding of this science of love, they will think that it is impossible to have a perfect match.

Thankfully, you now know that with faith and patience, you will find the one absolutely that matches you in every way.

First we need to have the standard of love within ourselves.




Love begins From Within You

When you look back on your love relationships, do you think that you have been able to love someone unselfishly?  If you can say that you have loved to this degree, these experiences will be your assests when you ascend to the spirit world - your pure love relationships will be the only thing you can take from this world into the next.

"You have met someone whom you can love. What an incredible blessing that is for you. Think of all that lies behind this marriage. But this love should not be just a horizontal bond between you and your beloved; you must link it to the vertical dimension."

It isn't easy to add vertical love to horizontal love, is it?

We are living on the horizontal plane and this axis links husband and wife.  However, for the family to link to the vertical line and for the vertical realm to reach down the family must extend upward.

What is this vertical line?

This vertical line above you is your nation in which you should feel patriotic.  In the fallen world, we pay our taxes because we can't avoid paying them.  In the original world, we should pay taxes because we love our country more than our own family and want to pay them.

With this intensity of patriotic love for your country, your children and descendants will create a great benefit and reward for future generations. Through this way, the blessing will multiply and expand.  This is the way to become an ideal family and form an ideal nation on this foundation of love.

You and your spouse become the core of the country when you devote yourself to loving your country and create a full circle of love.  As this core expands, you will receive special protection and true love will expand.

It is an Oriental custom always to use both hands when you serve your elders. Also, Orientals have the custom of bowing. To bow means to empty yourself and to convey the attitude, "I am nothing; you are everything."

When you bow, you acknowledge your elder as the perfect plus, and you empty yourself totally to that person, becoming a perfect minus. Whenever the plus is perfected, the minus is automatically perfected as well; and the interaction between plus and minus creates energy.


The Ideal Couple

What holds a man and woman together?


Men and women have interlocking shapes, to keep them from missing each other or sliding apart once they meet. The man has the additional role of anchor, so that when a couple is bolted together, they won't slip and lose their footing. This way, a couple can be anchored and bolted together with true love.

There is a space-age glue so strong that something mended with it may break anywhere else, but never at that joint. Likewise, a man and a woman bonded together in complete, true love might get hurt someplace else, but nothing will ever be able to separate their union.

God created man with interlocking shapes that prevents them from missing each other or sliding apart once they meet.  Man has the role of an additonal anchor where the couple will not lose their footing once they are bolted together with true love.

A man and woman that are tightened completely together through true love might get hurt elsewhere, but like the space-age glue, there is nothing not even God that can separate their union.

"True love is the super glue which holds husband and wife together. Do you understand? Don't just laugh. This is an operation of natural law; tell me whether you understand

You or the world could push, toss, knock down and kick such a strong couple bonded by true love and they still would not be able to be pulled apart but always stick together.  Such couples come from a a Marriage blessed directly and approved by God bearing children of His lineage.

A truly united couple does not break apart even if someone drill a hole through them -  the broken pieces would fall and return and stick to them.  Even if pressured was applied to this couple, once this pressure is removed, the couple would plump right back up.

A totally united couple is completely one.  Nothing under the sun can alter a couple with unity brought together by true love.

Would you like to be part of this perfect couple or be a mediocre couple?

What about a couple that only takes the easy way of dealing with issues. " Can you attain perfection as a couple if your focus is only on having fun and a good time; if you long only to see beautiful sights, smell nice things, eat good food and listen to good music; if you can relate only to good feelings?


One Common Trunk Line

Those blessed in a marriage that inherits the love and blood lineage of God is what Jesus wanted to accomplish during his lifetime if he had those of faith to follow him to the end.

Here the author of the Divine Principle tells groups of couples about the importance of this kind of marriage and becoming one in unity:

"After being a single person so long, it is wonderful to get married because something is added to you. However, in order to sustain that added stature, you need a strong root and a broad foundation. Your roots are your parents and relatives. Anyone who tries to flee his parents by getting married is making a mistake.

Once you are married, you cannot think of yourself as an individual but as part of the larger root system. Furthermore, once you are married, you have not only one family to worry about, but two. You have in-laws now -- brothers, sisters, mother-in-law, father-in-law, as well as many other new relatives. You should be able to plant yourself firmly upon this new root and foundation.

If you women try to be clever and take advantage of your husband's relatives for your own benefit, you will be kicked out of the house. Here I am referring basically to women; if you act that way, your husband will eventually throw you out.

Marriage is like a grafting process. The root of the man and the root of the woman are grafted together and become one. Your two roots join into one common trunk line, which branches out and produces blossoms, bearing the fruit of both families. A couple is not just one family but represents two families.

Your parents and relatives will see your blossoms and rejoice; your in-laws as well will look on and feel joy. Marriage is not just the meeting of husband and wife, not just the union of one individual to another, but the joining of two families. Two roots come together and become one trunk; a new trunk, new branches, new leaves are produced, and then the blossoms, flowers and fruits come.

Would you like to have a broad and embracing kind of tree, or would you rather ignore your in-laws and focus just on your spouse and yourself? Those who disregard the roots and focus only on their marriage relationship may try to justify themselves by claiming: "We are like Adam and Eve. We are the only ones that count.

We just want to concentrate on ourselves. Life is simpler and more convenient that way; we don't have any burdens. Why should we bother with the roots and branches?" Is that the right attitude? Unfortunately, however, this is the trend in America today.

One danger in focusing just on your spouse is that your relationship may easily break up. The wife may meet a man who is more handsome than her husband, someone who tells her how beautiful and attractive she is and how her husband is not treating her right. If she has no anchor or foundation, her heart can be affected.

Or the husband may meet a pretty woman who flatters him telling him how handsome he is. Perhaps his wife never told him that, and when another woman says it, his heart starts to quiver. He thinks, "You know, my wife is like a stump; she is unattractive and ugly. She's a good housekeeper but not adequate as a wife." Then the marriage breaks up.

Your marriage needs to be anchored to its roots and secured to its branches. Then when you consider all the foundation upon which you are standing and your commitment to the future, you cannot take your marriage lightly.

You should tell yourself, "I am marrying for the sake of my spouse, my parents, and my future children." You are the present. The present could not exist without a past, which is your parents. A future is coming, which will be your children. The past, present and future must be linked in your Blessing."


Return for Tomorrow's Post:  God Fortune is in Finding Right Spouse

This information was rewritten and taken from the religious textbook: True Love, Volume One, Restoration of Love.

"Why do people get married? It is to love God. Why should we love God? It is because we need to become one with the axis of God."

Matching Spouses

If you are a regular of this blog or a Unification Church member you know about the way the founder Dr. Rev. Sun Myung Moon performs the (Marriage) Blessing by matching members who have accepted the doctrine of the Completed Testament the Divine Principle.



This ceremony is not just the joining of two people, but is a marriage directly approved by God linking the family and children born from this marriage to His direct blood lineage never before seen in all of history.

This was the hope and dream for Jesus, but because even his disciples ran away and did not completely follow him in the end, Jesus could not fulfill his destiny of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, forseen in the bible, until the return of the Second Advent in our time.

If Jesus was to perform the marriage blessing starting with his disciples and his apostles, you and I by now would be enjoying a world of peace beginning and centering on Jesus's True family.

With Jesus and his True Wife as the example centered on God's pure lineage, there would be an example of not just how to serve humanity as a brother, but as a husband and wife and to spread this absolute lineage from the level of society to nation and then the world.

Nowadays, men and women search for the clues of how to deal with relationships and make them last longer, only leaving each new relationship with scars.  People have become jaded that marriage can never last in these days and either give up in their relationships, or they remain single forever.

People give up on marriage in the first year these days.  Actually, a couple should not decide whether a spouse is good or not before they have lived together for a certain time period.  There are many differences in backgrounds of two households coming together and uniting - this will not be an easy task.

During the matching process in the Unification Church, spouses may be chosen, but it is ultimately decided by each person the value of his or her spouse.

"You must take that responsibility and make that decision. Although you might have in mind someone other than the spouse I suggested for you, is there any guarantee that that person is actually a better match for you?"

This statement can clear many relationship problems encountered when it is at its weakest.  Once a couple has become bored with the routine they may look around for a better prospect.  True love when it is exhibited can never become dull, it actually becomes greater and greater having a high peak and balancing out, but every time it climbs it gains greater power.

When love does not have a strong base or center on God, many find new wives and new loves to fill in the hole the previous one did not seem to fulfill.   This type of thinking makes people jump from one unhappy relationship and further create a hole within their heart leaving nothing for their next love.


Choosing Spouses

Many people choose their spouses based on superficial qualities that is not everlasting.  How can one person know the true background and history of a significant other and base their judgement on whether a person will be a good match for them?

People in the Unification Church see the value in having their parents or a leader match them based on more substantial qualities.


Reverend Sun Myung Moon explains how he chooses spouses for his members:

"When I am considering potential spouses for someone, I think about every aspect of each person. Once I approve of a particular marriage, I know that is the best available match for those people. I always think of the children that will come from such a union. I can look at a woman for only a half minute and discern the deepest qualities of her character.

For instance, I can see if a woman has a very bad temper. If I were to match her with a man with the same problem, they would not be able to survive together more than three days. Moreover, even if they had children, those children would be terribly damaged because of the conflict that would exist between the parents.

When a man is a great athlete, he needs a soft woman who will be like a cushion for him. One's family is the basis for all of the historical actions a person will make. The family is the place in which an individual learns to digest life's experiences.

For a woman with a bad temper, the best mate is someone who can look at her and be intrigued by her nature. He will say, 'How interesting that such an element exists in her nature.'

The woman may shout shrilly at him, 'Come here right this minute, John,' but John will be in no particular hurry to respond. He will take his time and then come to her, asking, 'Did you want to say something to me?'

There are different kinds of echoes into a valley. Certainly the most interesting one is full of reverberations, not just a simple one. When a woman shouts out at her husband, he should have a good echo for her.

This is reality. The husband should be able to give back a reply which will cushion her shrillness and return something interesting to her. He shouldn't just give back to her whatever she shouts at him.

You want the best match for you, of course, but how can you decide who that person is? Your ability to judge is quite limited; your viewpoint is rather narrow.

However, I have a wide variety of knowledge and resources to draw upon in judging people's character. I have been known for quite a long time as a specialist in the knowledge of people.

At the time of the 36 couples' blessing in Korea, I went through great difficulty to match those couples. If someone was very headstrong and refused to accept my advice, I couldn't force him. Yet time has proven my judgment correct, without exception.

After 21 years, such a fact is common knowledge now among the 36 couples. Therefore, those couples understand in a deep way the value and meaning of the matches I recommend for people, perhaps even better than I do.

Of course, you don't know from experience these things which I am speaking of. You must live for at least three years with your spouse before you can accurately begin to judge whether your match is a good one or not.

Therefore, those who are rejecting each other after only three days are being too hasty!

 Within those three years, you should have at least one baby in order to make that decision properly. At the end of the three years, any person who resisted his spouse in the beginning will be embarrassed to admit how wrong he was. 

Especially when your baby comes, you will be able to appreciate the value of your spouse. After all, without him or her, that special baby could never have been born."


One reason marriages have become failures is because of the outlook or individual expectations couples have when entering into the union.  Two people may come together based on self-centered ideals and what they can obtain from the other rather than what they can give and living for their spouse's sake.

"The reason you marry is more for the sake of your offspring than just for yourself. Some couples' marriage may serve the primary value of paying indemnity, which is of the utmost importance." 

Man and woman did not begin history of a loving relationship centered on God and have passed this relationship non-stop through lineage until today.  To reverse this fallen mistake some couples may be chosen to pay retribution for the past mistakes of their ancestors or of society.

For instance a Japanese woman and a white man uniting together under one roof can reverse the mistakes of hate that was created when the Japanese bombed America.  These kind of couples may pay much indemnity so that blessings can be given to the country and to the world as well as their family in the future who will benefit from this couple's victory.

God looks for this kind of couple with which He can work.  This kind of indemnity may take much responsibility and also become a privilege at the same time which go hand in hand.  Everyone wants blessings, but one must also love the path of indemnity sacrificing for the blessings of others.  If you are able to pay indemnity and be able to give blessing this is very good.

Rev. Moon continues his speech:

"There is always a wavelike motion of up and down. When you are well off at a certain time, you will have to come down to a lower position in order to eventually go up higher again. Western civilization has been going in an upward direction for a long time.

Natural law requires that those in the upper position, such as America, must keep in mind those who are in the lower position, such as Africa. Unless they do that, they cannot maintain their fortunate position.

I am in the leadership position of the Unification Church so I am at the top of that church. However, I am always thinking of those who are at the lowest point within the church, particularly those suffering missionaries in Africa or South America.

I always want to hear any news I can about those members. Did I come to America in order to say nice things and encourage Americans to continue as they have been?

No, I came to make America aware of her responsibility. Since America is on the top of the economic curve, she should be helping those at the bottom, such as Africa and South America.

Why should I stay here for a long time and still keep such a rigorous schedule and work so hard? Although America is at the top economically, she is incredibly low and miserable in a spiritual sense.

This earth does not prosper economically everywhere at the same time. While one part of the world is going up, another part is bound to go down. When a certain country is at the top it should help those who are in the lower positions; therefore when the cycle is reversed, they will receive help too."


This same principle is true for marriage.

If a man is particularly handsome and special yet is perfectly willing to marry any woman, even the least attractive and least desirable, when he receives the best quality wife, no one will blame him.

If a man is matched with a quality spouse, this does not mean that they will live the happiest lavish rich lifestyle.  Their marriage can be considered a public marriage.  To be worthy of such a blessing, the couple should like God's expectations that they serve others from the lowest and most humble position.

How does one create an ideal lifestyle?

Through true love.  Through the context of an ideal family you have the father, mother, who give birth to daughters and sons and ultimately grandchildren.  This family is the dwelling place for God's love.  How is it possible for God to relate to love through the basic structure of a family which He created?

Imagine if God only manifested Adam on earth, could he be the place for God's love to live?

One person could not be the center of God's ideal love because this would limit God to love just with his masculine elements.  Always two elements must be connected through the cycle of give and take.  Electricity flows because of this principle.

"There must be give and take between a man and a woman before the cycle of love can be complete." 

Have you noticed that all of creation exist through the pair system?



The ideal nose is even harmonious with the give and take of two nostrils.  How miserable do you feel when you can only breathe through one of your nostrils when it is stuffed up?  This plugged nostril does not bring harmony.

The same with the eyes.  Both eyes work connected to the same optic nerve.  When both eyes do not work together, the person has double vision.  The same principle applies to the ears and all parts of the body which is the model of the creation.

Why didn't God create Adam with just one strong arm?

Just through these few examples, we can see that through the application of the pair system the ideal of creation requires a circuit of give and take between two separate parts.

What if both men and women expressed their feelings in the same way?

The family unit is comprised of true unique, eternal, unchanging love.  There is an native Oriental story that describes the differences in men and women's expressions of emotions.  A mother who lost her baby wept and wept for days.

The death of her baby affected her so much that she could not eat and barely functioned.  Yet, the husband went about his daily living and continued to eat meals without showing any emotions.  The wife confronted him with anger and asked him, "Are you made of stone?  How can you not have any emotions at such a time?"

Then the husband responded by vomiting blood.  The husband was suffering to such a deep degree from the inside, but it never showed it to anyone.

How could a stable family function if both the man and woman both wept furiously or laughed very strongly at the same time?  Women are more sensitive to feelings of love than man.  This is part of God's creation which He planned from the beginning.

"Men and women are essentially the same, yet very different in expression; they are so different sometimes, they irritate each other. However, that is the way of harmony. Within love, these two different natures are bound to be harmonious."

God originally created man and woman not to be in opposition or constantly competing with one another, but to seek total oneness with each other and encompass the world with their love.

The man is in the plus position in relation to woman and woman is in the minus position  A woman can appreciate all men in the world through her relationship with her ideal husband who can represent all men even though he is an individual.

The same is true for the man.

Through this principle, a man and woman together in a family represent all of mankind.  In the context of a family, all elements are represented.  Women are normally more grounded and realistic while men are idealistic.

She will want to have her husband around her and not want to be away from him. In support of his high ideals, a man will decide to go away from his family for a time period even though he loves them.

Through this high ideal and striving nature for man to achieve his dreams, the world has advanced this far.  Men are designed to reach out for things that they only grasp in their imagination and seeks after his dreams and ideal.

On the other hand, women are more stable in that they are more concerned with the here and now rather than the intangible dream.

This is why we say that the man symbolizes heaven and the woman symbolizes earth.

What is the will of the universe?

Basically, the universe desires the harmony of true love. When a man and woman are dwelling together in harmony, they represent all of mankind, also heaven and earth. When they are dwelling in this way, they have achieved the realm of the ideal.

Did you ever look at marriage as the powerful force God used to bring this heaven and earth and all of mankind into unity?

This is not just a conceptual principle, it is reality.  Men and women should understand the importance and the true ideal God had at the beginning for their spouse and what can be achieved through an ideal man and woman uniting through marriage.

Men and women yearn to be together in spite of themselves to fulfill this cosmic ideal of God.  Through the focus of a family unit, people eat, sleep and go about their daily lives.  God's love is the focal point of the ideal family.


Return for Tomorrow's Post: Appreciate Your Spouse

This text was rewritten and derived from the Speech: Ideal Family and Ideal World.