This is the final chapter of the book giving 20 daily habits of the happiest Marriages. The following chapter focuses on the benefits of a couple sleeping together naked and when a couple always sleeps fully clothed, it is like asking to be divorce in 10 years as a couple slowly pulls apart in the opposite direction of a naked couple. Then what follows tomorrow is a quiz that couples take to grade the level of their relationship.
As I have stated earlier in previous posts, it has become controversial or taboo for any religious figure to discuss sex between even a husband and wife. The author of the Divine Principle which this whole blog is based upon, says that if we do not teach our congregations about the God given gift of sex between a husband and wife, then satan will teach his way to our children through the media. We should no longer be ashamed of pure sex now that the Messiah has returned to reverse the fall in the history of Adam and Eve.
The author of this book compiled speeches of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon who his congregation calls True Father for teachings of Jesus and being an example of a True Blessing Marriage. Also, he included the spiritualist Dae Mo Nim who gives advice based on how she sees the couples spiritually.
Friday's post will be an advice appendix the author gave based on his own experience of The Dangers of a Couple Living Apart and how he personally received an F grade and should have taken action.. Here is the final chapter:
Chapter
3
On
the Daily-Life Habit of “Sleeping Naked Together”
This
Chapter will explain in detail about the
habit of “sleeping naked together every night,” which
was mentioned among the first “10 habits that make a supremely
happy couple” in Chapter 1. This Chapter consists of four questions
and answers on the issues concerning the
habit of “sleeping naked together” in
the new Era after the Coming of Heaven.
True
Father gave this direction to Blessed couples, that “from
today on, couples must sleep naked together every night” on
April 19, 2004, on the 45th
True
Parents Day, in New York, as quoted below. His speech on that day
consisted of two central points: one was the beginning of Ahn
Shi Il,
and the other was the new direction that “couples
must sleep naked together every night.” Thus,
“sleeping
naked” is one of the new traditions of the new Era after the Coming
of Heaven on earth that was started in the spring of 2004.
This
new direction was not something True Father just suddenly thought up
and added, while speaking on other important topics. With some
reflection, it becomes obvious that he gave this direction only after
a long and careful consideration and reflection. True Father
therefore mentioned in his speech that this direction is “important.”
Nonetheless, it seems that many Blessed couples around the
world have been unaware of the significance of this direction, and
have ignored it. Therefore, I will introduce True Father’s words on
this direction with a fairly extensive quote taken from his speech on
the 45th True Parents Day,
in 2004.
When
you sleep, do you, husband and wife, sleep together, or separately? I
am concerned with it. (“We have both cases.”) Both cases?
(Laughter) Do you sleep with some clothes on, or without any clothes?
(Laughter) Please do not laugh. This is an important topic to talk
about. When the wife lies down naked on the bed first, or when the
wife comes into the bed later after taking off her clothes, if she
goes closer to her husband, she will feel his warmth. Therefore, the
wife will feel good and say in her heart, “Oh, I am glad I’ve
become his wife.As she lies down on the bed and feels good and
peaceful, she will touch her husband’s face, eyes toward nose, and
then ears with her hand. Also, after touching his face, she will
touch his shoulder with her shoulder, his arm and hand with her arm
and hand, and finally caress his leg and foot with her leg and foot.
Then,
what is the final gift that has remained untouched? While the wife
touches his sexual organ and the husband hers, the
couple sleep nestling next to each other. Is it unhappy, or happy?
(“It is happy.”)
A
husband and wife wish, “We want to become one through raw flesh by
taking off our skins.” Moreover, the couple wishes to take off
their flesh and also bones and to unite into one by bone marrow, and
they make a sound “Tin Tilo Tin” and all kinds of sounds.
They
enter into a state where their minds reel and then into a state where
they almost lose their consciousness. Then they enter into a
spiritual state of ecstasy beyond description with such a joyful and
mystic state of mind. Is it happy for a husband and wife to sleep
naked nestling next to each other in such a joyful and mystic state?
Or is it happy to sleep without feeling each other’s skins by
wearing five or six layers of clothes?
Let’s
make a promise today. Those who have decided to sleep with clothes on
contrary to my words, please raise your
hand. If you do it for 10 years, you will end up in divorce. It is
not good to sleep in such a way even for a week.
I have more things to talk to you, but I will stop here today.
Today’s
topics are these two: “Ahn
Shi Il”
and “To sleep naked together every night.” All couples will have
to sleep
naked from today on. A husband and wife must sleep naked together
from tonight, but there is not enough space here. Therefore, they can
sleep naked in the corner. Or, they can sleep touching and loving
each other’s body in a sleeping bag or under a blanket covered
around chairs. And you will have to give birth to sons and daughters.
I
would like to recommend that those Blessed couples who have not yet
practiced this direction of “sleeping
naked” try it out, after reading True Father’s speech and
discussing it with their spouse. Moreover, to sleep naked is reported
to be helpful for our health.
During
2004 True Father also repeatedly told
the members that “couples
must sleep naked every night” from
now on. Moreover, he told us that True Parents have also started to
sleep naked since the spring of 2004.
The
new Era after the Coming of Heaven is the age during which Blessed
couples will completely restore the positions of the original Adam
and Eve before the Fall. In my view, the instruction that “couples
must sleep naked every night” has a providential meaning
that we will symbolically restore the positions of sinless Adam and
Eve before the Fall, who used to live naked with purity and
innocence.
By
sleeping naked every night, we can resolve God’s deep grief which
He felt at the scene of Adam and Eve’s hiding their sinful parts
due to the Fall. In other words, the Era after the Coming of Heaven
is the time when Blessed couples should return joy to God by living
together naked like the original innocent Adam and Eve, even if only
during night, and by making love beautifully without any clothes on
in the presence of God as the original
Adam and Eve should have done.
True
Father once uttered at Belvedere, as if he were talking to himself,
“Because Adam and Eve used to
live innocently in the nude before the Fall, the time must come again
when we live naked, if the providence of restoration is completed and
if the original world before the Fall is restored.” At that
time, I received the impression that he had not yet figured out how
to satisfy this providential requirement. I had no idea that there might
be a way to satisfy this condition without violating the laws of
decency in our society.
Nonetheless,
the new Era after the Coming of Heaven, which symbolizes the original
world before the Fall, has now arrived. After hearing True Parent’s
instruction that “couples must
sleep naked every night” around the time of the beginning of
the Era after the Coming of Heaven, I was deeply moved by the
heavenly wisdom of True Parents, who managed to satisfy the
providential requirement without violating any law of this world.
True
Father also delivered the following speech in
November, 2006 in which he told us once again to “sleep
naked every night.” You (Blessed couples) should completely take
off your clothes and sleep naked every night embracing each other in
one bed, not in two separate beds. Then, is it possible for a husband
and wife to quarrel every day? Is it possible for the couple to
quarrel in the morning and sleep naked together at night? It is
impossible. The day and night are different. When one day passes, the
darkness of the night can erase all the negative memories in the
daytime. Therefore, during the night after the daytime, you should
take off all your clothes and live by becoming completely naked. You
will not be forgiven unless you are liberated.
I
told you to take off all your clothes and sleep naked when a husband
and wife sleep at night, but no one practices it. Only if you live
sleeping together naked at night,
will you come to understand the preciousness of your
husband or your wife, as well as the preciousness of your own body.
True Father also spoke to us on the
day of the Korean Chuseok
festival, September 14, 2008,
that we Blessed couples should live joyfully together nestling to
each other after taking off all our clothes.
You
Blessed couples should not feel ashamed to live naked taking off all
your clothes. After taking off all your clothes
in any way, for example, taking them off while sitting down, taking
them off while standing up, taking them off while lying down, or
taking them off while lying face down, the result is exactly the
same, isn’t it? So I told you to live naked. I told you to live
joyfully together nestling to each other after taking off all your
clothes. Is that a bad instruction or a good one?
Think
and imagine! After a husband and wife quarreled in the morning, can
they say at night, “Please take off all your clothes and come in”?
After fighting, the husband or wife will naturally come to say,
“Don’t come into the bed.” After quarreling in the morning,
can a spouse who has a different body live naked nestling up
together? Even if you don’t like it, you must have a heart to enjoy
the relationship in order to sleep naked nestling to each other.
Otherwise, you will end up in kicking away the quarrelling spouse
from the bed.
Because
I had been working as a professor in Korea, away from my wife in New
York, I began to practice True Parent’s instruction of sleeping
naked when I returned home in the summer of 2004. As a result of
sleeping naked together, I became fascinated with the indescribably
nice feelings of greater skin contact in bed. At the same time, I
began to sleep better than before since my stomach was no longer
constricted by the tight elastic band of my pajamas. I was once again
deeply impressed by the practical wisdom in True Father’s speeches,
which have been delivered for the sake of our greatest happiness, as
well as for satisfying the requirements of the providence.
Moreover,
it is reported that sleeping naked is good for the health of men and
women, especially for their genitals. Men’s testicles produce the
male hormone and sperm most efficiently when they are 3 or 4 degrees
°C lower than the body’s temperature. Therefore, medical
specialists suggest that a husband who wants his wife to become
pregnant avoid wearing brief-style underwear. When a man’s
testicles are forced to stay close to his body
or are heated in a stuffy environment that prevents sweat from
evaporating quickly, their function will decline or stop due to the
rise in their temperature. Hence, men can enhance the function of
their testicles if they sleep naked at night.
Some
women wear a nonporous nylon panty in bed at night. In such cases,
however, the vagina will get stuffy, and yeast (Candida) infection is
sometimes caused by one of the fungi that commonly exist in the
vagina, where it can abnormally proliferate. Some
doctors suggest that women with a yeast infection stop wearing any
underwear at home, wearing instead a long skirt in order to hide the
fact that they are not wearing underwear.
Therefore, to sleep without panties will also promote the health of women’s genitalia. Since it
is very comfortable to sleep naked, not a small number of
married couples in this world also do so every night in the United
States and Europe. For example, Mrs. Victoria Beckham,the singer and
wife of the world-famous football star Mr. David Beckham, of the
United Kingdom, testified on the CNN Larry
King Show that both her husband and she sleep completely
naked. They are rich enough to buy the most expensive nightclothes,
but their choice of “going natural” shows that
is better than any luxurious nightwear in this world.
Since
it is very comfortable to sleep naked, not only married couples but
also many single men and women also sleep naked in Western nations.
The famous American actress Marilyn Monroe once said, “I always
sleep only with Chanel No. 5 on.” This means that she always slept
naked without putting on anything
except her perfume.
To
sleep naked is a desirable action that we are expected to carry out
in this Era after the Coming of Heaven. It is not an action which we
do to set up an indemnity condition.
Therefore,
sleeping naked should not mean living a painful life, but rather it
should mean for us a return to the natural and original life of peace
and happiness before the Fall. It is true that Japanese houses are
very cold in winter since most of them are structured suitable for
summer, and have neither a central heating system like houses in the
West, nor a floorheating system like in Korea. I believe, however,
that it is still possible for Japanese couples to sleep naked even in
winter, if they use one or two extra blankets.
If
you feel too cold on the shoulders in the midst of winter because of
the lack of heating in your room, I suggest, as a compromise, that
you go to bed wearing clothes only on your upper body, leaving the
lower part of your body naked, because the providential requirement
in this Era after the Coming of Heaven is that we do not hide our
holy sexual organ during the night.
Even
before the beginning of the Era after the Coming of Heaven, in the
spring of 2004, Dae Mo Nim also repeatedly advised Blessed wives to
“sleep without wearing any
underwear and leave your sexual organ completely open, so that you
can receive your husband’s loving touch anytime.”
It
would seem, however, that if we make it a habit of sleeping naked
every night, the human skin would become stronger as we become more
used to coldness.
The TV news in Korea reported that some Japanese
children at a certain kindergarten spent the
daytime naked to the waist every day, even during
winter. The news reported that their mothers were very happy that
their children no longer caught colds because such a practice had had
a good
effect on their health.
If
a couple lives with their children or with other family members and
if there is no bathroom in the couple’s bedroom, they will surely
find it convenient to have nightgowns within easy reach. A nightgown
does not have any buttons, so you can put it on and take it off very
quickly. If you sleep naked you should keep a nightgown within easy
reach, so you can put it on quickly in case of emergency, such as in
an earthquake or fire.
Furthermore,
if you sleep naked, you will find it most comfortable to sleep in the
bed between an absorbent 100 percent cotton bed-pad and 100
percent-cotton bed-sheets, like beds in first-class Western-style
hotels. However, if you sleep naked, your perspiration and your body
fluid (love juice and sperm) will more frequently become attached
directly to the bed sheets.
Therefore,
you will have to wash them more frequently than would be the case in
which you wear pajamas or other nightclothes. As presented above,
from the viewpoints of love, sex, and health, it is very advantageous
for couples to sleep naked together. Therefore, I am convinced that
this habit of sleeping naked together every night will become very
popular throughout the world, as a happy family movement that
promotes good health and happiness for husbands and wives.
Q.3.2:
I heard that the mass media in Korea reported that “sleeping naked
is good for one’s health.” Could you elaborate some more on this?
A:
The
mass media in Korea recently reported that when you go to bed, if you
sleep naked you can reduce stress. According to the report, stress is
caused by a stimulus to the sympathetic nerves in the body. It
explains that if you sleep naked, you can reduce the stimulus to the
sympathetic nerves and thus reduce the stress. Consequently, it is
good for our health to sleep naked.
In
response to the question, “Is sleeping naked good or bad for
health?” (listed on the Internet website of questions-and-answers
on health, sponsored by the National Health Insurance Agency of Korea
since March 4, 2007) this same content was presented in the answer:
“It is good for one’s health to sleep naked.” Thus, just as
True Parents recommended, the National Health Insurance Agency of
Korea has also clearly affirmed the daily habit of sleeping naked as
good for health.)
In
other words, the Korean Academy of Medicine confirms that “it is
good for health to sleep naked,” based on recent scientific
research. Therefore, I can also recommend with confidence that you
faithfully practice True Father’s instruction that we “sleep
naked every night” in
this Era after the Coming of Heaven on earth.
As
the True Parents now practice every night, sleeping naked as a couple
is one of the True Parents’ rules of health: “Become
the absolute Blessed couple of one heart and one body.” I
recommend it on the basis of the recent scientific evidence, as well
as from the teachings and practice of True Parents.
Q.3.3:
Could you please share any words of True Parents about bedroom
manners with regard to the couple’s sleeping naked every night?
A:
As
presented above, we are expected to sleep naked in the new Era after
the Coming of Heaven. True Father says that we should not feel
ashamed even if our husband or wife gazes at our body in the nude or
at our sexual organ when we go to or come back from the bathroom.
When
a husband strides over you on the bed for going to
and coming back from the bathroom, will you kick your husband away,
shouting, “You should be hit by thunder.
Damn you!” because he strides over you? Or, will you bend your body
and kindly support his body with your
hand to help him stride over you easily?
If
you are a wife, will you kick your husband away, or kindly support
his body to help him stride over you?
Those
who are proud wives, please answer! Those who are proud husbands,
please answer! When a husband strides
over his wife, if she says, “Thank you for becoming such a husband
as striding over me like this! My husband believes me so much that he
freely strides over me when going to and coming back! This was my
long-cherished desire even in my dream. Thank you very much for
realizing my long-cherished desire, today.” Will she gaze at his
face, or his sexual organ?
Why
are you laughing? You must be interested in your husband’s sexual
organ, saying to yourself, “Now I see what my husband’s sexual
organ looks like when watching it from below.” When you smile
gazing at it by yourself, do you think your husband will trample on
you, saying, “Such a woman! Why do you laugh rudely?” Or, looking
back at you, will he embrace and kiss you. Is there any scar to hide
between a husband and wife?
True
Father has stated that, between them, a husband and wife have nothing
to hide, and are allowed to gaze upon their spouse’s sexual organ
from below, and freely appreciate it when he or she strides over
their spouse on the bed. He also says that there is no problem with a
naked husband’s striding over his wife. True Parents say there is
no secret or scar to hide between a pure and innocent husband and
wife.
Q.3.4:
Our young son has become an elementary school student, but still
sleeps with our couple on the floor in the
same room. Even in this situation, is it best for our couple
to sleep naked?
A:
I
think you should at least sleep with your lower body completely naked
as the second best way, or as a compromise, if you feel uncomfortable
sleeping totally nude with a small child in the same room. Even
before the spring of 2004, when the new Era after the Coming of
Heaven began, Dae Mo Nim repeatedly advised Blessed wives that “you
should sleep without wearing any underwear and leave your sexual
organ completely open, so that you can receive your husband’s
loving touch anytime.”
For
example, Dae Mo Nim spoke to Blessed wives at the 10th
Cheongpyeong
21-Day Registration Workshop as follows:
You
wives have been in the bed wearing a bra, an undershirt, and a long
panty. In addition, you put on long training
pants, and furthermore, even a pair of socks, saying, “My feet are
cold.” From now on, however, you must absolutely not go to bed in
such a way. You must keep your sexual organ completely open. You must
keep it totally open. When you go
to bed together with your husband, why do you wear long
training pants? When I look spiritually, Japanese Blessed wives like
to wear long training pants in bed more than any other wives in the
world. That is wrong.
By
the way, who is allowed to come to that place and play there? Who is
allowed to come to the woman’s sexual organ,
which is the manifestation of all creation? That is your husband. Our
True Father has taught us that the owner
of the woman’s sexual organ is her husband, hasn’t he? You have
thought, however, that the owner of your sexual organ, which contains
the beauty of all creation in a miniature form, is yourself. That is
why you have slept in bed wearing long training pants, a panty, and
even socks. You all have thought that it is your own.
This
is wrong. Who is the owner of “creation” i.e., woman’s sexual
organ? That is her husband. Therefore, who is responsible for keeping
it all open and for having the man visit the natural world, creation,
so that he can joyfully play there with a lot of fun? That is his
wife. You must know this clearly.
Therefore,
if you somehow feel it is inconvenient to sleep totally naked, I
would recommend that, as the second best way, you go to bed wearing a
long T-shirt that reaches your knees or a one-piece sleepwear item
such as a muumuu, but without wearing a panty, so that you can be
completely naked on the lower part of your body once you pull your
nightwear up around your upper body.
It
may be very difficult for many Blessed couples to feel comfortable
with the following words of True Parents because the traditional
cultures of this world have a strong sense of privacy. But True
Father has never told us that it is “bad” for parents to reveal
their nudity or their love-making to their children. Rather, True
Father has repeatedly stated that “Blessed
couples should not feel ashamed even if their children see them
making love,
beautifully.”
This
may be one of the methods of educating little children, in the Era
after the Coming of Heaven, that Blessed parents reveal to them how
deeply in love they are by allowing the children to see their parents
sleeping naked every night and by telling them that their parents
follow the tradition of True Parents in this new age. However, this
may be revolutionary from the perspective of our contemporary
society, which is still mired in the customs of the old Era before
the Coming of Heaven.
Yoshihiko Masuda, PhD
(Professor, CheongShim Graduate School of Theology
CheongShim GST University Press
Based on the Speeches of True Parents and Dae Mo Nim
Published by CheongShim GST University Press
Copyright
ⓒ 2010 by Yoshihiko Masuda
All Rights Reserved
Published in the Republic of Korea by CheongShim GST University Press
